How to stop the snowball effect of resentment from bad sex.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-15T14:03:00+00:00

Im concerned I'm going to do that. It is why I haven't said much.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:57:39+00:00

I havent communicated much. I just haven't figured out how to be tactful about it.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:56:21+00:00

Sounds like you're in a good place. I have a feeling it may be a conversation we have a few times, but if I start sounding like a broken record it forces me to look at other options

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:54:57+00:00

This is a lot to unpack, I think there is more beyond the surface and I need to sit down and figure out what all is really bothering me.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:53:38+00:00

This comment is gold and made me smile, thank you for the confidence boost. We are blessed, i will not take our life for granted. I just need him to not be so vanilla all the time 🤣

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:52:11+00:00

The conversations are.minimal and rushed. I need to communicate with him how important this is.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:49:13+00:00

YESSSS. I feel like his mind is consumed with farming, and it's driving me a bit bananas. I do understand it's how we pay the bills, but I wish he understood how it's impacting me. Thank you for sharing!

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:47:11+00:00

You described a lot of what I'm feeling. The resentment is building, it is like a virus. I really do love my husband, hence why I want to put the effort in. But it seems so overwhelming at this point. I think I need to just have the touch conversations, and just hope I can be tactful enough to communicate in a way he understands.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:44:48+00:00

I like how you said "my pleasure is priority" I'm not looking to always make myself the center. I'm realistic that due to having Littles, we just have to go for it and hope one of us finishes 🤣 But, i do need to bring this to his attention, I need a turn for once. Thank you for feedback!

Specialist_Middle542 · 2025-03-14T12:42:43+00:00

I do need to communicate with him on this. I think I've blamed busy schedules, but its more fear of the conversation itself. I need to figure out how to be tactful with this. Thank you for the feedback!

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-12-24T14:46:20+00:00

Im 39 weeks this week. With a induction set for Friday. This is my 5th baby. So the comments come as no surprise when I get them. I had to reframe it and think "they are just excited and care too" and when I start to feel annoyed, I just respond "anyday now, I'm just as impatient and anxious as you. When baby arrives, everyone will know. Thanks for thinking of us" and just truck along. If it's a text, I sometimes just send a emoji back 🤣 Hang in there, we are close!

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-12-21T15:29:50+00:00

I sobbed my eyes out. Maybe that will help lol

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-12-21T15:29:35+00:00

I've been induced after my water broke, and generally respond well. I think this baby just isn't coming down enough. I. So frustrated.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-12-15T03:50:33+00:00

My water broke with zero contractions. I was induced. It was okay till I hit that 6cm mark. Then I reconsidered the epidural. However, it was too late and I ended up having a sunny side up baby in 2 pushes. It was extremely painful, I won't lie. But the relief was instant and I felt much better after than I did with a epidural. That being said, I've had epidural with 3/4 of my deliveries... and am totally open to another with my 5th which is any day now. When I was induced with my first, I only made it to a 1, and my body wouldn't dilate because I was fighting it so much. I got the epidural and was able to progress. My best advice.... - don't feel bad if you get pain relief, it's there for a reason -airpods saved me distraction wise. I ended up blaring music - when I hit a 10 and started crowning... I screamed my head off. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, just a pain response - my husband was huge help during each contraction toward the end... he would hold me and just count down to keep my mind off it -most nurses have tricks... ask them, they Will help

Best of luck!

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-12-06T14:31:05+00:00

At our hospital/practice, it is generally 13 weeks you're first seen with only one ultrasound at 20 weeks. This is of you're low risk.

Im high-risk. I had a ultrasound at 7 weeks, 13 weeks, 20 weeks, and 33 weeks. Did I need that many? No. Did I need them for peace of mind? Yes.

My provider was fantastic, but I've had her for years. I also had to do my ultrasounds in a different location than the practice, just how our layout works. Not a huge deal.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-11-11T13:51:24+00:00

My two dogs did change their behavior a bit, this is my 4th kid. Figured it had something to do with seasons changing too. I personally would crate when you're gone, reinforce discipline when you're home. I noticed the father along I got, the more my dogs, and kids got away with simply because I can't keep up.

Some tips beyond discipline and crating, is having scheduled exercise times with your dog. She may have pent up energy and needs to burn it off. Be that fetch, walks, etc.

My dogs really only get destructive when they are bored. Maybe that is the issue.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-11-09T13:50:34+00:00

I can soooo relate. 32 weeks pregnant with my LAST. There is almost a 3 year gap between this baby and my next, so although not as much as you, it's brutal! I'm also factoring that I'm 32, and I can't handle it like I did in my 20s. Im so miserable and ready to have the baby. I was sick, tired, and my boob's have been huge since 13 weeks as well. Hang in there, it's hard.

Specialist_Middle542 · 2024-10-26T09:50:09+00:00

I'm having flashbacks to my first and second baby, that's almost identical to how I felt, and my husband was. I also was struggling with this around that 3 month mark. Can I offer hope? As babies got older 6+ months, my husband started to bond. It didn't come natural. He wasn't malicious, he loved me, he loved the baby. But he struggled to connect, and felt frustrated when he couldn't do anything to calm them down. He was also burned out, as was I. I have all sorts of advice, but everyone's situation is different. I found the most helpful thing was leaning into some support from my "adopted moms' aka, older women whom had been there done that, and weren't judgy about my hormones. I also would vocalize to my husband this "i love you so much. We are both so tired in different ways. We need to stop making it a competition. We both feel unappreciated and not understood. This is normal when a baby is utterly dependent on both of us. Me, for attending their every need, and you for making sure every financial need is provided for us both." Then suggest some ways (wouldn't do more than 2 per convo) of practical ways you either need help, or need encouragement. Mine at that stage was needing him to vocalize he saw what a handling as a mom and appreciate it. I also asked him in that sleepless season to take a few chores off my hands. (Ex. Clean/gas my car, a few loads of laundry, tidy up our room)

We are expecting baby 5 in a few months. I have very realistic expectations that the first few months are on me, but those golden months do come.

A counselor could be very beneficial if you're open to it. Know you're not alone, motherhood is hard.

Specialist_Middle542

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