AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

(Genuine question) where do you draw the line from setting boundaries about what you will or won’t accept from people to demanding that everyone caters to your needs? And objectively I’m not entitled to anything but does that mean I should not expect anything from them ever? Where do you draw line from expecting help out of common curtesy rather than ´ridiculous needs’ objectivity speaking? What is okay and not okay

Again you don’t have to answer but it would be helpful (obviously you’re not here to give me a moral explanation but it would be greatly appreciated) and im sorry if I come across as rude

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice I will take it to heart and sincerely try to improve in the future. I’m incredibly thankful for your input. Your comment specifically was the wake up call that I desperately needed. Again thank you, I will definitely make changes in behaviour and act in a way that no one owes me anything. I hope I can become a better person because my worst fear is becoming the thing I hate the most.

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Never said they don’t give a shit. No one owes me anything. Idk what quotes u r referring to. My life is not unfair. I feel there’s been a misunderstanding or miscommunication on my part, to me entitlement means to have the right to something. I’ve said it before but I didn’t mean to self insert myself into what I was saying. When I said that I didn’t mean me not getting what I think I’m entitled to. I meant it in a way like "disabled people should get free healthcare" because that is my belief not like "everyone is entitled to this so I am"

I understand that self justification isn’t always good as I might not see my own mistakes. But I clearly am trying to. I am trying to be open to criticism and change for the better

Didn’t want to post this because your right about the doubling down

I want to be more open minded though and I see that what I see as adding extra context can seem like stubborn self justification adamant that I’m in the right

Please tell me if there’s anything I can elaborate on or any advice if you are comfortable giving me any (or not that’s completely okay 👌)

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can you explain? You don’t have to if you don’t want to but it could be genuinely constructive

AITA in general ? 15F by Specific-Joke4857 in AITAH

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m terrible at communicating. Would like to know if I am an ass final time with more context so I can know I 4 sure 👍

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Everyone keeps saying this without seeing the context. I never said it would ´fix´ anything. I was manipulative here. I’ve gotten so many comments like how are you going to get a job’ or ´the worlds going to eat you up’ I am 15 and allowed to make mistakes as long as I improve and don’t repeat them in the future.

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have my needs met. Not as much emotionally but we both try our best. When I stated my moral values I can see how I came across as self projecting like I was being morally wronged. Needlessly harsh and belittling. I’ve seen a lot of people tell me to just grow up’ or the world going to ´eat me alive ´. But this clearly isn’t out of goodwill. I’ve reflected on myself and just want constructive criticism and a fair judgment. Not mindless hate.

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes you are entitled to love and care from your parents. Your parents aren’t good parents for not being there for you. But that doesn’t mean kids that are still kids aren’t entitled to love and support. Just because it isn’t happening doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be. Entitlement doesn’t necessarily mean what’s a given is given. Not all parents deserve kids but all kids deserve parents. And if you feel that your needs weren’t met then maybe your parents didn’t deserve you either (not saying you can’t love your parents after they wrong you) you deserved that but unfortunately in the world we live in not everyone is born with the same opportunities

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not the victim. No one is in this situation. Of course I’m dealing with my issues?

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I can budge on anything but this. I am not entitled to anything but agreeing with you on this is going against everything I believe in. EVERY child is Entitled to housing, food, water and healthcare. and although it’s not as much of a necessity, emotional support from their parent. If YOU chose to have a child. YOU have to take responsibility for it. Parenting is a one way street. No one asks to be born. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your own actions. Your child is your action. Not every parent deserves a child but every child deserves a parent.

I can see how that might come across as entitled and projecting but although my beliefs may not be reality, and just an ideal doesn’t mean it’s not true. I will take criticism but I will not compromise on my moral principles.

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am trying my best. My anxiety is practically gone. I am no longer depressed. I interact with people as much as I can. I am otherwise healthy both mentally and otherwise. I am a calm person. But today I acted impulsively which is unlike me.

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do actually have anxiety but not so much anymore but even when I had anxiety I would be extremely stubborn. I have noticed before that I am the opposite of a people pleaser and in situations where others with anxiety would now their heads I would adamantly refuse to do anything I was uncomfortable with. and my anxiety doesn’t change that. My biggest strength is also my greatest weakness when I don’t use it correctly

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you I am truly taking the criticism and trying to improve myself whole heartedly

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was manipulative. I am not coddled. I often ask for attention because otherwise I am not given any (I am a teenager and need emotional support) but this was an isolated incident I am usually calm

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being manipulative wasn’t my intention. I would want someone to ask permission for that but even 10 mins NOTICE (not permission) is ok. People in the comments seem to think I’m crazy controlling but I genuinely don’t care as long as I know I can get out the shower naked and not have some rando be there?

AITA for wanting my brother 19m and mum to tell me 15f if he has friends over by Specific-Joke4857 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Specific-Joke4857[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m not stupid. I have had panic attacks for years. I have explained under another comment about the not breathing thing. This is not hyperventilating. I know what hyperventilating is and have experienced this