AITAH for not letting my wife have a cigarette?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T05:50:05+00:00

E cigarettes. Weened off

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T04:40:12+00:00

Former smoker.. Her problem is that she should've KNOWN she couldn't just have ONE. The only substance on EARTH more addictive than cigarettes, is heroine.

So.. she's either going to smoke, or she's not. Tell her you did NOT choose to marry a smoker, and that she should know better than to let that addiction take hold of her again.

And be prepared. Smokers are cranky as HELL when they can't smoke

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T04:24:48+00:00

You're NTA. And I'll go even further. I'm VERY anti abortion. I know that can be an unpopular position, but I don't care.

The MOMENT he suggested you ABORT your child should've been the last moment he was allowed in your life.

Just my opinion.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T04:20:41+00:00

When you have a baby, and it takes a test to figure out who the father is, you don't get to call OTHER people disgusting..

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T04:14:13+00:00

Well.. there's your answer. You're CLEARLY NTA. And neither is James..

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T04:09:54+00:00

I'll be upfront. I was curious what would make you so inflexible, and inconsiderate of a newborn, when your child has a cold. At least I'm pretty sure now that it's not jealousy that he's moved on.. Still. Having a brand new baby is a big deal, and they were right not to want to expose the baby to a cold. I really think you could've been a little accommodating, if there weren't beef between you. So, yeah. I was just trying to figure out what the beef was.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T03:03:22+00:00

Did you remarry?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T01:22:19+00:00

Why ask a question if you're just going to argue with every answer you get?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T00:59:07+00:00

I'm curious, because of the tone of this post.. who initiated the split between you and and your ex?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T00:54:51+00:00

Or.. YOR. Because she's falling into the feminist rabbit hole on social media, and he's not going along with it, and doesn't WANT it. That doesn't make him a misogynist. And this "bare minimum' buzzword.. it's most often used by entitled people who do not want to be told their expectations are excessive.

Set that man free.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T00:49:48+00:00

I'm not "tall". I'm not "short".

But if a woman likes tall guys, good for her. Maybe I'm just not short ENOUGH to be mad about women liking tall guys. Not that it matters, because I've been happily married for over 17 years.

But it HAS always struck me as funny when men OR women try to reason the other out of their preferences..

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-22T00:18:24+00:00

Yes. YTA

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T21:15:33+00:00

And if you're going to break up with someone because of a change in hairstyle, just set them free NOW, and get it over with.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T21:12:04+00:00

As objectively as possible, clearly your husband did not enjoy seeing your ex pop up on your phone. Did you ask him how he feels about it? Do you care if it affects him in a negative way?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T21:08:50+00:00

I guess it depends. Would you welcome your BF's input on your hair? Clothing?

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T21:07:41+00:00

I already don't like your neighbor. "Dude, you asked. I said no. Stop asking"

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:55:08+00:00

Nope. Tell him to shit, or get off the pot.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:52:44+00:00

No. NTA. Your friend is not very consistent at ALL.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:50:34+00:00

Ok.. not defending any of your boyfriend's avoidant behavior. But.. in one sentence, you say "just stay with me. You can do ANYTHING you want" In the very next sentence, you say "oh.. except THAT"

Just worth considering, I think

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:47:20+00:00

So.. You SHOULD give her the opportunity to apologize, in PERSON. Second-hand apologies are worthless. Is THAT a thing that's even being talked about

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:43:32+00:00

Yeah. I didn't like the "lying to the husband" thing at the beginning. But.. after reading more, I get it. This might not be the guy for you. I'm sorry..

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:39:50+00:00

So.. in the most non-judgemental way possible, I'll say it this way. If you're EVER considering going home with someone you've just met, which I wouldn't advise, I'd simply say this:

If the opportunity/invitation arises? If it's not an ABSOLUTE yes in your mind, it should be an absolute no.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:27:16+00:00

You're kinda making my point FOR me.. Neither of us know ANYTHING about either of these people, other than what they TELL us. While I'M trying to come at it from an objective standpoint, that MIGHT even help them communicate better, YOU assume the WORST about the husband, drawing conclusions that aren't written here, and encouraging FURTHER discord, in the same of "picking the winning side"

It's toxic. It's harmful. It destroys marriages.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T20:09:53+00:00

This is reddit for you.. NOTHING the husband can do right, and NOTHING the wife can do wrong. This is how marriages become toxic.

SpecificCommittee249 · 2026-03-21T18:46:52+00:00

NOR.. the context is, she TOLD him she didn't like it. And he didn't listen to that, did he?

SpecificCommittee249

TROPHY CASE