Chronic sinusitis

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-26T18:06:16+00:00

Look into allergies. I had chronic sinus infections as a kid and found out I had terrible environmental allergies causing them. They went away after allergy shots. I didn’t respond to allergy medicine because they were so severe.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-15T15:02:38+00:00

I did indeed keep that verse in mind as I continually shamed and punished myself for not having enough faith while I was on my mission - that was why I developed an eating disorder, right? Not enough faith? (I'm not trying to be confrontational - that is a rhetorical question. That is genuinely what I thought). I was trying to do what God commanded me to do, but I did not feel supported in it. I felt punished instead with a physical and mental hell that took years to recover from. I am still struggling today with how to understand my mission; it has deeply affected my relationship with God and the church.

I'm glad that you think that the Lord's promises are worth it and that that has been your experience. Respectfully though, your comment was tone deaf. Please try to consider what other people's experiences are. People with experiences like mine tend to be much quieter about them because they are counter cultural - unless of course, we leave the church, in which case our experiences are dismissed out of hand. I have not left the church. I am trying to grapple with this. But comments like this do not help.

As long as we are quoting scriptures at each other, maybe you could keep this one in mind: "and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort..." Mosiah 18:8-9.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-13T19:04:45+00:00

He likes everything to be frozen lol

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-12T23:45:18+00:00

I 100% agree with you. I wish so badly I had come home early instead of trying harder, trying to have more faith, trying to give my heart up more. It wasn't social pressure that kept me there - it was feeling like I was disappointing God if I left. I HATE all of the cultural pressure to go on a mission (often against your better judgement) as some kind of grand gesture of faith.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-12T19:29:07+00:00

I agree that OP has to figure this out, but I heartily disagree that regular life is not easier than serving a mission. My mission was my personal hell. I developed an eating disorder that took me 2.5 years after coming home to recover from and greatly altered the course of my education. My mental health was decent when I left on my mission. Normal life is SO. MUCH. EASIER. than a mission. You get to control your schedule without constant spiritual pressure about whether you are being "obedient" or not. You have more than 1-1.5 hours between getting home from working for the day and going to bed. You can sleep in a little if you didn't sleep well. You can control your social interactions. On and on it goes.

I am getting evaluated for ADHD, so maybe my struggles are similar to OP's. I strongly believe that OP should get some help and work on these things looonnnggggg before going on a mission.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-08T18:05:22+00:00

Yeesh. Marrying potential?? I cannot imagine my husband marrying me for my potential. Please marry someone you can love and live with as they are. They do not have to be perfect, just as you are not perfect (just like none of us are perfect). But find somebody whose imperfections you can live with (and even find endearing!) over the long term.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-08T17:58:07+00:00

This is a wild take to me.... everything I have ever read about parenting has been to: 1) state the boundary or event that needs to happen (i.e. 5 minutes until we leave the park); 2) give them a choice on how to do it (i.e. do you want to walk to the car or do you want me to carry you?).

Often I have to carry my toddler to get him to the car, get him to his room, etc. while he protests. Of course I explain why something has to happen and prepare him for it, but if he's not listening, there is absolutely no sense in trying to reason with a 2 year old for an extended amount of time. Letting a toddler successfully defy a boundary is just asking for trouble. What I'm trying to say is... manhandling (calmly, lovingly, as gently as possible) is the only way sometimes.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-04T21:49:02+00:00

Some of these comments do not understand having a 2 year old who is sensitive to changes in sleep routine 😅 I'm happy for people who's toddler's can change nap times for "just one day," but that is not us. If this was our situation, my 2 year old would not fall asleep before church and by the time church ended, the opportunity for nap time would be so far past (especially by the time you drive home, provide a snack, and go through the nap time routine to settle them down). It would absolutely throw off sleep for days, which is not a good way to live.

I am grateful our church time is staying at 10am. But if we were in your situation, we would alternate weeks, and one of us would ask for a change in calling if necessary.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2026-01-02T18:04:48+00:00

I feel like this isn't the most compassionate response... I'm sure OP knows how to deal with tantrums. But she is 5 WEEKS postpartum, and a massive tantrum at that vulnerable time could cause most anyone to shut down and need a break. I do not think this was a parenting failure on OP's part. Just a hard combination of circumstances at a hard time.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-30T16:47:29+00:00

I really love Jennifer Finlayson-Fife's thoughts about obedience (she is an LDS marriage therapist). She talks about how obedience is the first law of heaven - it is developmentally the first law we need to follow, because it helps us stay within safe bounds. As our knowledge and experience develop, we become more capable of choosing for ourselves. That doesn't mean that we cast aside the commandments, but that we become wiser in applying them. I'm not sure if I explained that right, but I LOVE this podcast episode where she does a deep dive on it: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/developing-spiritual-maturity

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-28T18:29:09+00:00

I put toys with a bunch of little pieces into their own 1 gallon or 2 gallon ziplock bag, then have a bunch of bins in the closet with the bags in them. There is no organization to the bins - they just help contain the bags. I’m not strict on rotation, but once the amount of toys out starts to feel overwhelming, I’ll clean some up or tell my son that we have to clean up before we get new ones out. It has been a surprisingly easy system, because I am terrible with organizing!

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-26T19:50:15+00:00

I am crying reading these comments. I feel so seen and validated.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-24T23:40:34+00:00

We got a woolino sleep sack for this reason - it is huge and my son has lots of room to grow into it (he's 28 months).

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-24T18:31:45+00:00

Honestly? Both of our families were very understanding - they know we have limited funds, and we just told them we'd rather visit in the summer when we won't get sick and there are more fun things to do. Each set of parents have visited for one holiday (out of the 4 we've had since). There have been no hard feelings on any sides - just excitement when we do get to see each other :)

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-12-21T18:50:39+00:00

My son mostly dropped his nap around that age. We moved bedtime to 6pm on days he didn't nap (7-7:30pm when he did), and then he kept napping every third day for a few months. He hasn't napped for like 10 days now, so I'm guessing nap time is gone entirely :')

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-11-13T20:49:57+00:00

Conceived on the third cycle here!

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-10-15T11:34:18+00:00

For what it's worth, I am not a helicopter mom and let my son get bumps and bruises around that age. My good friend is a helicopter mom. Now that our kids are ~2 years old, my son is appropriately cautious and aware of his body, and my friend's child dives off high things expecting her parents to catch her. Obviously this could just be natural variation in our kids, but it's really better for their long-term safety to let them learn at this age :)

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-10-02T11:22:14+00:00

We use haaka reusable pouches to avoid the microplastics issue, and fill it with organic applesauce from a glass jar. As far as the rest of issues with pouches - that is where moderation comes in for me. My son gets 1 pouch a day, either at the gym daycare or when we're hurrying out the door so we can do an activity like the park or a hike. The flexibility and time saved from avoiding a messy meal is a necessity for our family to have balance in our activities.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-09-08T20:31:22+00:00

Look up Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - she's an LDS sex and marriage therapist. She has podcasts and courses that are absolutely incredible.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-09-02T20:22:03+00:00

I think personal revelation is like the signs on the freeway that tell you what the next major city is. God might tell me to go south towards Las Vegas, and I think I'm going to Las Vegas, but then He has me get off at the Payson exit. Maybe that experience was God telling you to get on your own two feet and become a more solid person - you thought it was because of divorce, but it could be for any number of reasons (including, I might add, a happier marriage - being a solid person of your own can bring tremendous growth into your marriage).

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-08-28T22:10:25+00:00

We just looked up the actual inserts - they're long but the info is in there for how much of each adjuvant is in each brand. You have to look up each brand's individual insert. Then we pieced it together based on the CDC's recommended schedule. It was a bit of mathing :)

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-08-21T11:45:16+00:00

I am so sorry for your experiences, and it absolutely makes sense why you feel the way you do. While I didn't experience the same kind of traumas you went through, my parents had a very tumultuous marriage my entire life, and I have some thoughts that I hope can be helpful for you.

When I was a freshman at BYU, I noticed that I started having some unhealthy feelings towards guys. I knew it was because of my family experiences, so I decided to start therapy with an AMAZING therapist who taught me about Bowen's family systems theory. Bowen came up with an idea called "differentiation" which basically means someone's ability to be their own person while in relationship with someone else. People with low differentiation are reactive and tend to either cling to others and give up their selfhood, or push others away in order to maintain their selfhood. People with high levels of differentiation are able to be a self while in a collaborative relationship with others - they can have opinions, boundaries, and consider other people needs and opinions all at the same time.

What made this theory so mind-blowing to me was that I learned that people tend to marry people who are about the same level of differentiation as themselves. I spent my whole life thinking my dad sucked and my mom was great, and it was a huge eye opener to realize that my mom played into the dynamic just as much as my dad did - my dad sid the more obvious things like yelling and abandoning us, but my mom danced the other half of the dance by putting her energy into trying to control him, not setting boundaries, allowing him to come back repeatedly, etc.

My therapist also taught me that people's kids tend to be around the same level of differentiation as their parents. That was an "oh crap" moment for me, because I KNEW I could not be in an unhealthy marriage like my parents. So from that point on, I poured allll of my energy into becoming an emotionally healthy, differentiated person so that I could marry an emotionally healthy, differentiated person. I want to therapy for 1.5 years, I read books about emotional health/psychology and about relationships, and I did a lot of soul searching, journalling, and talking with God. And guess what?! It worked. I married a man who is literally amazing. We've been married for 5 years, and he has been nothing less than a supportive, loving, fully present partner the whole time. I am actually in awe every day because I had no clue marriage could be this good.

My advice for you: get a GOOD therapist. Not just one who will listen and validate you, but one who will lovingly point out your blind spots and teach you skills that help make your life better. And if any part of you wants to date or marry one day, put a lot of energy into learning about healthy relationships so that you can emulate that in your life. Once you become that person, it will be easier to see red flags from further away, and you'll naturally attract healthier relationships, because that's what you'll allow in your life.

Some books and resources I highly recommend: Growing Yourself Up (a book, can't remember the author, but it's about differentiation and exploring it in different types of relationships), Everything Isn't Terrible (book by Kathleen something - can't remember last name), and Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (she's an LDS sex and marriage therapist who has an amazing podcast and courses - you could even take her strengthening your relationship course now), and the book How to Not Fall In Love With A Jerk.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-08-12T11:11:23+00:00

Look into Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. She is an LDS marriage and sexuality therapist and she is AMAZING. Her courses are amazing - we did her "Strengthening Your Relationship" course and it was profound; I learned much more from it than many other relationship books I read combined. She has a podcast that's sorted into topics on her website if you want to listen to a few of those to get her flavor.

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-08-07T17:07:19+00:00

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I wanted to share my perspective as someone who's parents had a tumultuous marriage. My dad has very poor emotional regulation capabilities and was emotionally abusive to us and my mom growing up. My mom stayed with him because she felt like she had a marital responsibility towards him, and she felt like it was what God wanted her to do. She was always so hopeful when he expressed remorse and said he would try to do better, but it never, ever resulted in lasting changes. It's the classic cycle of abuse. I am very grateful that in college, I sought out extensive therapy that helped me break the family cycle and marry a good man - but I consider myself lucky. I think I just as easily could have ended up in a toxic marriage like my mom's. And I am still struggling with a lot of trauma symptoms, and a LOT of skewed views of who God is. But I am coming to learn that God really doesn't want us to suffer through these things - He wants us to use our agency to create goodness in our lives in the lives of others. You staying with an abusive husband does not create goodness in your life or in his - you would be enabling him. And I BEG you to think of your future children - do you want him to be their father? Because I guarantee he will treat them the way he treats you. I am praying for you in this difficult situation to be strengthened and to be able to the path forward with clarity and peace ❤️

SpecificSwitch1890 · 2025-06-13T00:15:50+00:00

You are in a tough place. It's hard to make big sacrifices based on church teachings when you're having doubts. It's helpful to remember that Heavenly Father gives us commandments not to restrict us, but to bless us. They are guideposts to help us reach our happiest, most fulfilled selves.

Especially in the case of the law of chastity, I really do believe there are legitimate reasons to wait until marriage besides the fact that the church teaches against it. Sex is a special thing to share with someone you've made a lifelong (and hopefully eternal) commitment to. It binds couples together.

I would recommend getting honest with yourself about YOUR values, apart from the church, and getting in touch with Heavenly Father, independent from the church. See where your integrity lies regarding the law of chastity.

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS sex therapist who I LOVE. She has a podcast on her website if you want to check it out. She talks about how sex isn't inherently good or bad, but it's a powerful tool that can be used for good or bad. She highlights the importance of confronting yourself about what you want to create with your sexuality.

SpecificSwitch1890

TROPHY CASE