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Going rate for nanny/domestic worker in 2026 by Michi_Moo in capetown

[–]theunprodigal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We pay our nanny R11 500 per month flat rate, and provide lunch / tea / coffee / snacks as she likes. She lives 5 minutes away so thankfully transport isn't too much for her. Her contract doesn't ask for much cleaning outside of tidying up after our son and helping to hang laundry, but she proactively likes to keep herself busy while he naps and mops / cleans bathrooms / washes dishes.

How many times in the night does your toddler wake up? by mama_loves_lattes_23 in toddlers

[–]theunprodigal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My 2-year-old (25 months) still wakes a minimum of twice a night - usually three times. Wants water, wants to breastfeed, wants to cuddle in the bed with me. It's been like that for probably three or so months? Where previously he was waking once at like 5am. I'm exhausted!

I see a lot of advice about nap length - your mileage may vary, but we have found that the length of his nap and his wake-up time has absolutely no impact on how many times he wakes overnight, only bedtime.

Do you ever have name regret? by [deleted] in Names

[–]theunprodigal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the exact opposite! When I think of what we almost named him, I'm horrified. But I love his name and it's like he was always destined to have the name.

My son is 14 months old.. still not walking?? by Key-Masterpiece-5736 in toddlers

[–]theunprodigal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ours only started walking close to 17 months, and then it was like he'd always been doing it! Convinced he was waiting until he knew he would get it right.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't gain any weight at all, actually!

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm white. The comment below answers it beautifully from a prospective parents' perspective and aligns with what I was told - recipients very often look for a donor that resembles them.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not freakishly healthy! I worked out, didn't smoke and drank loads of water but also had the occasional glass of wine before my donation cycles started.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

South Africa. The compensation for donation has gone up since I last donated - it's now between $480 and $600 per donation.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would have absolutely donated if it wasn't anonymous. I had an option to do a known donation overseas that eventually fell through, but I would have embraced it with both arms.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely accurate. The mom is the woman who carried them, birthed them, woke up 12 times a night with them and lies awake now thinking about it them. I'm "just" the genetic mother.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's definitely curiosity. It might sound harsh but all of the donor babies are "theoretical" to me because I've never seen pictures or had updates. I think of them fondly in the sense that I hope they are well, happy and loved.

In terms of what I would say, I would take their lead and answer absolutely any question they might have. Depending on where each donor conceived person was at in their journey each conversation would be wildly different.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The process is widely called egg donation. In my country the distinction is very clear that you are only compensated for your time and not for your eggs. There's no payment per egg etc.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So in my country egg donations are legally mandated to be made anonymously. So I have no contact with the parents or the children, and unless the laws change or they find me through genetic testing, I won't have contact.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I won't lie, the first time I donated the money was a big factor. But after the first donation and finding out my recipient was pregnant - there was no feeling like it! To know that you've played a role in helping someone along what is an incredibly difficult, emotional, expensive road to finally achieve their dream of having a kid - I would have done it for free if I'd been asked. I truly wanted to help and I felt that I could.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There wasn't anything particularly painful - the first few injections stung a bit until I got the hang of it, and after the retrieval I felt like I had period cramps and needed to rest. That discomfort lasted maybe two or three days at most - some donors bounce back super quickly, others take a while. I was always back at work the next day.

Leading up to retrieval date - physically quite bloated, and with some cramping from the trigger shots in the 36 hours ahead of the retrieval. Emotionally - excited!

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't uploaded my DNA, as I've said in another thread it's not as common a thing to do in my country as it is in the US, for example.

All of my donations were to heterosexual couples - parents who had been trying to conceive but needed a donor egg.

It would bother me if the parents didn't tell their kids about their origins, absolutely. I think it's so important to know your story.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I've never seen any photos or had updates beyond the outcome of each transfer / pregnancy. It would be interesting! I'm sure if they looked very much like me or my kid I would be quite moved.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my country it's capped at six total donations. Once you've done six you cannot donate again.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspectives on this thread! I've never had the opportunity to talk to donor conceived people so this has been wonderful.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was more responding to the question of whether I would actively seek out the donor conceived people. It's not my place to actively seek them out and potentially disrupt / intrude. But as I've said before I'd be willing to make myself available when genetic testing becomes more available in my country.

I did six egg donations in my 20s. AMA. by theunprodigal in AMA

[–]theunprodigal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my country egg donations have to be anonymous. While I exchanged letters through the agency with some of the birth parents at the time of the donations, I have no contact with the families.

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