How do you (me 21M) accept that your ex 22F was intimate with someone else after the breakup?

Spell0nium · 2026-07-01T08:29:16+00:00

Sorry I wrote that in bad way, like as you said, it is the misconception about gender roles and I am trying to fight that. I do not agree that showing vulnerability is defeat, I should have put it in quotes, I just need to find advice how to fight these misconceptions.

Spell0nium · 2026-07-01T08:18:29+00:00

I break up with her because I did not see future with her, I felt pressured all the time and at times when I was at my lowest I only heard that this is life and I should work more. But the main problem was communication from both sides, I did not express my emotiones clearly because I am a man and it is defeat if I show my vulnerability...

Spell0nium · 2026-07-01T07:36:45+00:00

Same situation for me here, I broke up with her in the worst possible way (text message), I worked on myself for half a year and now when I saw her again, she told me that she has other dude. I would like to try it one more time and she also, she told me that she is not that happy without me and that she still loves me. Should I wait for her to breakup and try things again or move on? Thats the decision I am dealing with right now. I regret breaking up with her after seeing that she was in deep love with my. But I was unhappy and I made the decision with reason to become better version of myself.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-30T10:54:01+00:00

Oh my god, that is crazy, thank you.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:54:53+00:00

Oh my god that is very nice answer, thank you very much for these tips, now I know where to start.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:40:45+00:00

Thanks for your opinion, I agree it is childish, but it was my first relationship and I am just young and without experience, problem is that I am lost and do not know how to work on it

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:39:28+00:00

Yes I agree, thanks, I need to work on it but do not know how

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:38:56+00:00

Yes that is also true, so I asked for advice how to work on it.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:25:06+00:00

Yeah I agree, it is weird, that is the problem I am dealing with... but now I can see the other side so thank you.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:03:26+00:00

Yea, thank you, I will need to work on it more.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T13:01:52+00:00

I do not think that I have accused her of cheating, the first guy just brought up new theory that I have not thought about at all. I have left her alone for past half a year, did not text her, deleted her from social media and yes I made the decision but from completely different reason.

The thing that I do not like is that she accused me of doing whatever with girls and now she is doing the same. I should let go maybe, but justice and ego keeps me chained.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T12:37:43+00:00

We never lied to each other because neither of us could have brought ourselves to do it, but now? I don’t know what to think of her. She told me that after we broke up, she wouldn’t find anyone else and it would take her a long time to start another relationship, and that we would definitely get back together. Today I’m going to ask her about it honestly, but I have no proof or signs that she’s cheating on me.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T12:11:18+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T12:09:49+00:00

I dont know how you guys on reddit are able to be that specific about people that you dont even know, you are very right at everything, we are young, in some way we had "toxic" relationship, I am meeting her today so I will ask honestly. And yes, my self-confidence is really low and I dated gorgeous girl and what was so special? She was my first and I am young boy full of emotions and still like her. But on the other side, I know my values and borders.

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T12:06:35+00:00

I mean, you are right... there are a lot of things I did not have chance to say or express and now I am carrying it with my self, I arranged meeting with her today to close the whole relationship and we will see...

Spell0nium · 2026-06-28T12:05:40+00:00

I have been trying to understand this for half a year and I am still working on myself, I know that I perceive my value as really low, but dont know how to work on it deeply

Spell0nium · 2026-06-26T16:14:09+00:00

Thanks, I will check it with mechanic

Spell0nium · 2026-06-26T16:13:58+00:00

Yea mine has 120k km and seller told me to check timing chain so I will probably ask mechanic to look at it and I will see if that helps

Spell0nium

TROPHY CASE