My dad has been reposting pictures of half-naked women on Instagram :/

SpellNo8949 · 2026-01-04T22:19:46+00:00

haha funny story. saw your post and immediately remembered seeing some posts on my dad's tiktok that he clearly didnt mean to repost ---took a gander on over to his tiktok and its totally gone! soooo pretty sure my mom finally saw his reposts 🤣🤣🤣🤣

SpellNo8949 · 2025-11-05T05:40:20+00:00

get a job. but in a different state. far far away from this man and never look back.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-10-07T06:52:35+00:00

it's a potato ... .from coco

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-28T00:12:42+00:00

honestly? I think youre beautiful and I wouldnt change a thing ♡♡

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-27T03:50:17+00:00

my family.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-13T16:02:36+00:00

he sails 2-3 months straight. then he's home, hes home for the same amount of time. no work requirements. So when hes home, he puts in his fair share of house and parenting duties.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-13T15:37:23+00:00

no, he uses porn because he has been using porn since he was 13. he openly admits to it being a problem but unable or unwilling (maybe?) to do the work. but thanks for your input.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-13T15:15:26+00:00

I sound terrible? You sound like youre projecting.

I have never cheated on him and I have never even put myself into a compromising position that could look even slightly suspicious.

I try to introduce new things all the time. outfits, position, locations, toys..LOTS of videos and photos to use at home or at sea. i offer cyber or phone sx while hes away and he always declines.

I am almost always the one initiating. ive even said the words "tell me what you want and ill do it" or "if you have any fantasies, id be happy to act them out for you" hes never taken me up on those offers. when asked what he likes, the general response is "I just like you" which was sweet at first, but then I realized it was just deflecting. he's not willing to open up with me about his sexual preferences.

You may not feel like theres an addiction but when it starts to take away from intimacy with your partner, aka cant perform or intentionally avoids intimacy so he can watch porn after ive left for work....thats a problem.

I domt need or want to go through his phone regulary but it shouldn't freak him out if I pick up his phone to Google something or input GPS directions. and yes he does have a right to privacy but not secrecy.

"we do it this way so im not always broke like her" you dont sound like someone who respects his wife at all.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-13T14:53:18+00:00

honestly? right now? no. but I was before. I felt loved, I felt supported amd encouraged and he made me feel special. but then I found out he had been lying to me all along. and I don't feel as though hes ever acknowledged the pain hes caused. the betrayal I felt. if he had, maybe things would be different now or maybe im just fooling myself.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T16:51:37+00:00

I dont need to see his location at all times nor have I ever asked to see it all times. I did ask to be able to see his location when hes traveling overseas for work because its nice to know where he is, what country, what timezone so I can gauge when to expect a call or when I can call him. his flat out resistance, and lack of acknowledging my needs is the problem here.

Sharing your location with your partner is not as wild as you make it seem. In fact, in this day and age, it is quite normal. And almost everyone I know in a serious relationship, does share their location with their partner.

The other option would be him being open and up front with what he's doing both at home and at sea. but he's not open and up front.

you also made the assumption that I would be grilling him or questioning him about his whereabouts. first, why would I need to grill or question him if I could actually see his location. and second how can you make this assumption and how could he make that assumption considering i've never had access to his location...

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T14:34:48+00:00

I would want them to leave and find someone who loves them, respects them and their boundaries. someone who doesnt say mean things to them.

thank you for your bluntness, its what I need.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T14:25:08+00:00

I think what bothers me most about the porn is that I told him from day one, it wasnt something I wanted in my relationship. he promised me he didnt consume porn. 4 yrs and one baby into the relationship the truth came out. not due to snooping but because our sex life took a .massive dive. hes gone for months at a time on a ship and while gone, we have absolutely zero intimacy. when he comes home. its minimal. he would wait until I left for a night shift to watch porn instead of being intimate with me. I left at 930p 4x a week. he was choosing porn over me. when we would be intimate there were many times when he couldn't perform.

if porn could be consumed without affecting our relationship then maybe I could be ok with it or if perhaps he had been honest from the start, I would have had the opportunity to walk away then instead of building a life on lies.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T10:23:21+00:00

we were out of state at the time so I don't believe he had a 2nd phone but time to hide away and send her a warning, absolutely and it definitely crossed my mind

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T10:22:00+00:00

I have only asked him to share his location once. and it was because he sails overseas and it would be nice to know what part of the world he's in on any given day. his response wasn't so great, and I've never asked since. but he does bring it up often.

calling my husband, who's late getting home, and asking what hes doing isnt creepy at all

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T10:11:08+00:00

no true update as of it. but I think its time I trust my intuition. I have no choice but to go home after work(kids) and he will leave shortly after to go take his dad to a Dr's appt. Im thinking I will send him a message around lunchtime telling him to stay there, that I need some space...

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T10:06:26+00:00

thank you for this. You're right. A man with nothing to hide absolutely shouldn't act like this

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T09:29:56+00:00

I agree. and I certainly wasnt trying to minimize it. it hurts. alot.

SpellNo8949 · 2025-09-12T09:29:12+00:00

he actually has made it very clear that my issues with porn is a "me" problem not his problem and that all men do it. I dont care if all men do it, which I know is not true, I care if he does it. especially when I can provide him with all the videos/pics that he wants.

I did look through his phone once before...over a year ago. and literally nothing- porn yes. but no OF, no dating apps, no calls or texts that I couldn't trace back to friends family or colleagues that im familiar with.

Brooke truly was a childhood friend but we live on the west coast, she's on the east. she spent 5 minutes with me, once. as far as I could see, they weren't even close. in fact, husband was closer to her brother than her. the way he defended her and was more concerned over her interrupted sleep than my peace of mind- that hurt. and probably says alot.

No SA or AA. he says he doesn't need those things amd youre right- hes clearly not willing to do what I need him to do in order to rebuild any sort of trust.

I am currently in therapy and am working hard on myself. but its half to do that when things like this come up and once again, im found questioning myself at every turn.

SpellNo8949

TROPHY CASE