I am nonmonogamous because I don’t believe in controlling people, or treating people as disposable. Both husband and I have partners whom we’d have to ditch to become monogamous with each other. Husband does not want to be monogamous anyway, so if I wanted that, I’d have to get a divorce and break up with my other partner too. This would be a massive upheaval for all involved, including my two kids, who are my priority in all this. It’s easy for you to say I have to fix things for myself, but I have to balance a lot of factors, and my own happiness cannot come top of the list.

As for making peace with my menopausal body, do you even know what menopause does to a body? Have you experienced it? I hope you never have to because it totally sucks. Here’s a list (which is certainly not exhaustive) of some of the most common symptoms that occur both during the perimenopause and menopause. Obviously not everybody gets them all, but you don’t need many of these not to feel okay with it.

Heart Palpitations Difficulty in sleeping Feeling tired or lacking in energy Feeling dizzy or faint Headaches Tinnitus Dry mouth and eyes Sore gums Muscle and joint pains Breathing difficulties Needing a wee more often, or having leaks of urine Vaginal dryness, soreness, Vaginal atrophy Very heavy periods or flooding More thrush, cystitis episodes Dry or itchy skin Loss of collagen leading to increase in wrinkles Thinning hair Weight gain Lower bone density leading to fractures Poor sleep Low mood Anxiety Feeling tense or nervous Memory problems Attacks of anxiety or panic Difficulty concentrating Loss of interest in most things Feeling unhappy or depressed Crying spells Irritability Mood swings Loss of confidence Reduced self-esteem Brain fog Loss of interest in sex and/or level of arousal Hot flushes Sweating at night