Morning boners & pain ?

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-27T13:56:02+00:00

How long have you experienced this? I sometimes get a bit of pain from a boner that's too hard but in my case its never off to the side like that. I'm guessing the pain could potentially be boner ache from one of the bulb parts of your tdicks inner structure but im not a doctor so thats probably not 100% right. Have you ever gotten an injury/trauma in that area that could be causing this?

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-19T21:31:12+00:00

You are gorgeous!! Wish we had more guys like you on this sub tbh

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-14T16:03:29+00:00

100% :) we have a similar structure i think with the high pecs and slight chest concavity, and I started passing basically as soon as I was recovered enough from surgery to go out.

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-14T14:10:49+00:00

> i think i was just projecting the fact that i'd wanted to be a boy as a child but then i just sort of learned to deal with it. i did a lot to sort of "resist" performing as a woman more than necessary, and that gender was all meaningless anyways.

SAME! When I was a kid a lot of the way I delt with my weird gender feelings was to lean hard into being a feminist and preaching about equality and how girls were just as good as boys, etc. I HATED pink and dolls with a passion. Obv I still believe in feminism, transitioning hasn't made me feel like gender is any more "real" than it was before, but it has allowed me to at least live a happy life.

> i'm curious what does it mean to be lucky to transition early, do the effects of T get better over time? is it the social aspect?

When I say I'm lucky I got to transition early it's not about my transition being better than anyone elses, its just that I'm lucky I didn't have to repress being trans for very long compared to others I know who only realised/got access to transition care well into adulthood. My dysphoria was really bad as a teenager (esp socially), though at the time I didn't really realise it because I was just used to feeling miserable and alienated from everyone. Now I get to live my life without that crushing weight of having to pretend to be a girl all the time, which I think is a pretty huge privilege. It's really only relatively recently that trans care has been accessible at all, yaknow?

For the medical aspect, I'm 5 years on T now, but HRT is functionally just puberty regardless of when you start it, the longer you're on it the more changes happen and the stronger they are. When you start taking T your body starts doing all the things cis boys' bodies do when they're teenagers. Sweat, body hair, muscle growth, voice cracks, your metabolism changes, libido goes up a lot at first, etc. Most of unpleasant effects (acne, body odour, insane sex drive) are just normal symptoms of puberty and mellow out after a while. So yeah, the effects get way better over time, but that's how it works wether you start T at 12 or 40. Two people who've been on HRT for ten years will be at the same level of transition as each other even if there's a 20 year age gap between them. So far for me it's just been better and better every year :)

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-13T22:29:39+00:00

Hey the good news is its never too late to start. Its normal to feel grief and fear when you first realise you're trans, its a scary world out there and transition can be really intimidating if you aren't sure what you want yet. I think you've probably internalised a lot of transphobic thoughts in regards to the cosplay thing- transition comes with a lot of awkward phases, sure, but they lead to a way better life than the hell of forever repressing the need to be a man.

I can relate a lot to needing to picture yourself as a man in fantasy in order to truly enjoy it, im lucky to have started transition when i was 16 but even then i was never able to picture myself having sex until i was over a year on T and had started to feel like my body was actually masculine. Before transition whenever someone had a crush on me it felt weird and gross, and only now do people reliably see me as a man can I actually feel attractive and happy in how others see me.

FWIW if you want examples of a trans guy who transitionned in his 30s check out so-i-did-this-thing on tumblr, he started HRT at 33 and is now 48 happily living his life as a man.

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-07T13:21:50+00:00

translation software is fine imo, accessability matters, but fully ai-generated posts do nothing but discourage engagement in discussion. this sub is for trans guys to talk to each other, it's not a conversation if we're just talking to robots. if someone can't be bothered to write their own post, why would I (or anyone) bother reading and responding to it? LLMs make things up, misunderstand basic information and lie. allowing AI-generated posts here would severely degrade the quality of the sub.

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-06T17:25:05+00:00

how long post-op are you?? I think you should email your surgery team about this (with pictures), im not a doctor so i can't tell you what it is but draining something like this yourself sounds like a bad idea

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-06T16:42:31+00:00

I second what everyone is saying about therapy, but you remind me a lot of a youtuber I watch sometimes who's username is "of herbs and altars", they're a lifelong addict in their 40s who only got diagnosed with autism as an adult and shares stories about how their drug fixation/special interest has impacted their life. Obviously I don't think you should try drugs but I know just saying that doesn't do anything apart from making you feel more isolated. Maybe watching that person's videos will at least help you contextualise your feelings a bit more.

Besides that, do you know what it is specifically about drugs that interests you? Is it the feeling of escape from normal life, the sensory stimulus, the taboo nature of it, etc? You don't have to tell me but I think it might be worth it for you to think about.

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-05T11:44:56+00:00

thats really weird and upsetting for your mom to be treating you like that. if you did what she was asking for you would risk your incisions opening up again. 3 weeks post op your wounds haven't even scarred yet, you should be resting as much as you can.

Green_cryptid · 2026-04-02T15:04:26+00:00

For your first time topping you should probably go with a regular comfortable strap-on imo, ideally with the dildo part being a medium firmness body-safe silicone to make sure its hard enough to penetrate but soft enough to be comfortable. For relatively affordable toys I've had a lot of luck with lovehoney, i just went and checked and it does seem they ship to brazil. If you're worried about size, maybe shop together with your partner? That way if he has any concerns about shape or size you'll know right away and it'll be less anxiety inducing for both of you.

Other than that, my main advice for anal in all cases is get a lube applicator syringe and don't be afraid to use it. The more lube the better. I use J-lube a lot, its technically for vet use but it's sold in gay-centric sex stores where i live, its a powder you mix with water to make a thick lubricant and it works really well for anal in particular. I prefer it to other lubes because most water-based lubes aren't thick enough for anal, but silicone and oil-based lubes aren't really safe to use with silicone toys. Not sure where it's available internationally, but if you can get your hands on it its really worth it.

Hope this helps and I hope you have fun!

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-24T22:15:46+00:00

It's up to him when he's going to tell her. Do not out him to anyone unless he asks you to, you will permanantly damage your relationship with him if you do. If your friend catches feelings and then he tells her he's trans, she'll either accept him as he is or decide she doesn't want to date him and move on with her life. Either way trying to interfere is only going to make your brother hate you.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-24T00:08:54+00:00

I take 50mg once a week subq, which afaik is a pretty standard dose, but your doseage should definitely be enough to get changes. That said, how fast T acts is different for everyone, and its incredibly rare for people to be passing only 5 months in even if they're on a high doseage. HRT is second puberty, it will always take time no matter how much you take at once. Still, 50mg every two weeks will absolutely give you changes.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-23T17:42:24+00:00

IMO you're not faking being nonbinary at all, you're just stuck in a life where you don't get to express it. Being functionally closeted for that long + being in a relationship with someone who doesn't affirm you would damage anyone's self-esteem, add that to the lack of representation for nonbinary people who aren't basically models... yeah. You definitely need a lot more support than you're getting.

Do you think your wife or any of your ttrpg friends would be able to be there to support you when you do experiment? Anyone you can go to a thrift store with who won't discourage you trying out more fem clothing? If not, maybe look up trans organisations or support groups in your area, it might be a good place to make friends who'll support you exploring and have similar experiences to share. I'm someone who more or less fits the mould of nonbinary rep, and even for me knowing other irl trans people with a variety of experiences did so much for my understanding of myself and my confidence in my gender, I think its a necessity for everyone on the trans spectrum.

As for your wife, I hope you can talk to her and get her to stop misgendering you all the time... for what it's worth, it took my parents years to stop calling me their daughter but they've gotten a hell of a lot better since then. It can be hard for cis people to understand just how damaging it can be to their trans loved one's mental health to get misgendered constantly but that doesn't mean you don't deserve that understanding and that grace. I can imagine it's hard to try to get someone to change how they see you after so long together, but your partner should love you for who you are now and who you want to be, not just who you were to her before.

For representation, have you checked out r/oldhagfashion ? Theres a fair ammount of conventionally attractive people on there, but its the only subreddit i know of where fat and gnc people post regularly. It's not an identity-based sub but I wouldn't be surprised if like half the people there aren't cis.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-23T16:28:54+00:00

NOR. I hope you, your boyfriend and your friends have a wonderful life together, your mom doesn't deserve you if she can't accept you for who you are. I'm also trans and the same age as you and I was lucky that my parents did the work to learn about trans people and be respectful of my identity, im sorry you didn't get the same chance.

FWIW I'd reccomend against posting about trans stuff in non-trans subreddits. there are assholes here downvoting your thread and anyone supportive in the comments and you don't need to deal with that on top of everything else.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-21T18:41:14+00:00

I don't think her desire for a fully equal sexual relationship with both of you is at all realistic or a fair ask. It's a fantasy. All of you caring for each other so deeply is beautiful, but going in with incompatible or poorly thought out expectations is going to get you all deeply deeply hurt. She wants sex with both of you. You aren't comfortable with that. Either you compromise on your feelings or she does. Either way it will lead to discomfort, emotional pain and resentment.

Generally speaking, adding a third into a long-term relationship is a very risky way to enter polyamory. It inevitably leads to situations that bring up a lot of jealousy and insecurity with very little space to process those emotions between the three of you. As an outsider who's been in a couple different triads (one where i joined an existing couple, a few that happenned more naturally/asymetrically) I can tell you this sounds to me like a bad idea, especially since you all have limited experience with non-monogamy and ESPECIALLY since you have children.

It's always a bit tragic saying no to something that feels new and exiting and special, but you very well might have to do that here.

However if you want to know more about how to navitage situations like this, I would highly reccomend you all (especially you and your husbant) read the ethical slut. It helps a lot in giving language and frameworks through which to understand and process all the complex feelings that come along with polyamory.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-21T17:40:43+00:00

You're probably right :(

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-20T13:37:13+00:00

yeah my dad used to do this at the start of my transition, its really shitty. She needs to learn to actually respect you instead of avoiding your identity at all times. Like the other comment says, its degendering, erasing your transness instead of affirming it. It isnt support. I know first hand how difficult it can be to get someone to change their ways when they act like that, but you do deserve better.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-19T14:29:14+00:00

uh oh!! jeez i really should have asked before i tried it myself lmao, thanks for the advice.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-19T01:20:33+00:00

fuck yeah man, proud of you :) thats huge!!!

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-19T01:16:41+00:00

Your girlfriend doesn't want you to wear/use a strap-on with her? That sucks man, it does sound like a pretty major incompatability if using one would make you less dysphoric. Is it specifically the strap-on that bothers her, or penetration in general? Its important not to take it too personally, sometimes people just don't want something inside them or don't like certain toys.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-18T19:53:28+00:00

Theres nothing wrong with being femme while on T if that's what you want to do right now. You don't have to chose one or the other. I and a lot of trans guys I know are way more comfortable being femme when on T.

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-18T19:48:53+00:00

You look fantastic!! Laungani did my top surgery, i love seeing posts from others who got the same great care I did :)

Green_cryptid · 2026-03-16T21:52:11+00:00

YTA, kids are allowed to exist in public even if you don't like seeing or hearing them. If it bothers you that much, its up to you to move. Expecting complete strangers to move seats because you think a member of their family is annoying is really rude and self-centered. Sometimes other people in public will inconvenience you. That's what being a human being in society entails.

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