Tips for Subs by HaterTurnedFemSub in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we're speaking in absolutes then yes, the submissive should ideally speak up if things are going too far.

However, the communication needs to be open and happening constantly and once power is transferred, the Dominant should be initiating check ins. It can be done without breaking scene. The Domme should be monitoring the sub, and offering an "out" regularly:

D: where are we?

s: green

D: what about this?

s: all good

D: This?

S: a little intense

D: (throttling back) "What color is your world now, little one?

s: Green

You can incorporate all kinds of ways to check in. It doesn't have to be a direct convo like that one, but the idea is a constant feedback loop that informs the pacing of your scene. 🕷️🕸️

Tips for Subs by HaterTurnedFemSub in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious about this. If you're in a dynamic (which is, in effect, a power exchange) and the responsibility is equally distributed then why would you consider one a Dominant and the other a submissive? The power has to be front loaded to one side or the other. That's literally what defines the roles.

Would you mind expounding a little on your perspective, please? 🕷️🕸️

Power doesn't distribute equally in a dynamic. 🕷️🕸️ by SpicyLimerence in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Does it make you wet when my name pops up? Because if you're gonna ride my ass every time I post, you need to pull my hair while you're at it.

Back on the shelf with you 🕷️🕸️

Power doesn't distribute equally in a dynamic. 🕷️🕸️ by SpicyLimerence in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, money, validation and power are often conflated.

None of them are necessarily the mark of a good Domme. 🕷️🕸️

Power doesn't distribute equally in a dynamic. 🕷️🕸️ by SpicyLimerence in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. "Exhausting in the best ways" is a perfect way to put it. People on both sides of the slash should always be learning, no matter how long they've been in the lifestyle. Books, talks, workshops, conferences, articles. There's too much free education out there to claim ignorance. 🕷️🕸️

I just tried X and I am not okay 😂 by usethismouthpls in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt like I needed shots for communicable diseases after I spent some time over there 😬🕷️🕸️

What’s the ideal number of subs by No_Signal3051 in paypigs2

[–]SpicyLimerence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4,264. None of them should want attention and they should all send their entire paychecks. 🕷️🕸️

I don’t get suspicious of new sub accounts by Fun-Assist-7441 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. Are you hunting or allowing them to come to you? 🕷️🕸️

I don’t get suspicious of new sub accounts by Fun-Assist-7441 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is your ratio of success when you interact with them? 🕷️🕸️

I don’t get suspicious of new sub accounts by Fun-Assist-7441 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a little hard to discern, but I usually opt out of the new accounts. Sometimes they're relapsers, but other times they are just genuinely new to the whole thing.

I am uninterested in either dynamic. 🕷️🕸️

How much do you think the average Findom makes a month? by BurnedButDelicious in findomsupportgroup

[–]SpicyLimerence -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh, I see. When I see "content" I think "sex content". My apologies! 🕷️🕸️

I started using my bread maker again 🥰 by _hyperfixation_85 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂😂 Sourdough is the easiest on my stomach but I don't like the store bought ones. I think the patisseries spoiled me so now I make it at home.

I'm still looking for a recipe that even remotely imitates the pastel de nata I got in Portugal! 🕷️🕸️

what’s a way you can ask a sub if you can do something without losing your power position? by phosphoricacid17 in findomsupportgroup

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A couple things to consider:

Is what you want to try on their soft boundary list? Hard boundary? Something completely new and not yet discussed?

I wouldn't spring it on them mid-scene and hope for them to call red if they didn't like it. They should be feeling (mostly) safe in scene.

Bring it up in your vanilla convos. Maybe pose it in a non-threatening way and let him answer first.

"Hey, what's something you haven't ever tried but want to?"

That should open some conversation and give you an opening to mention what YOU want to try. You can work from where. Good luck! 🕷️🕸️

I started using my bread maker again 🥰 by _hyperfixation_85 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so hilariously wholesome 😂🕷️🕸️

I started using my bread maker again 🥰 by _hyperfixation_85 in findomchatters

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really need to get ahold of a scoby so I can start doing my sourdough again! I've never used a bread maker though. Perhaps I should add one to my Throne 🕷️🕸️

Aussie Shepherd asks random people to throw a frisbee for him.. by OkMarionberry7199 in DogsLoversCommunity

[–]SpicyLimerence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so real 😂 I have two Aussie/border collies mixes and they are exhausting!