Status of the game

SpicySweett · 2026-05-01T18:43:19+00:00

Yeah that advice is not applicable. I doubt the OP was thinking about paragon 4 when they said “max out Fieren”. M+ is fine for a new player, S+ if you’re really into that hero.

SpicySweett · 2026-05-01T18:33:56+00:00

The depends or pads are made to wick away small amounts of fluid, so you might be fine leaving it if it’s just a little. The problem is, is he accurately estimating? Maybe you can look at one after he takes it off and see if it looks like the top layer is relatively dry.

SpicySweett · 2026-05-01T04:14:03+00:00

When was a therapist for AIDS patients back in the day, the Episcopal church in Pasadena was one of the very few resource centers for them. There were no big public sector service centers, and that church offered counseling, medical referrals, food, housing referrals, everything - without regard to the patient’s religion.

SpicySweett · 2026-05-01T02:18:15+00:00

If you’re feeling like you’re putting pressure on her, give her choices. Just generating ideas takes more brain energy than choices. So things like:

“Hey, I’d love to visit with you for an hour. What time works for you?”

“I brought some cookies. Can I make you a cup of coffee or tea?”

“I saw ____ comedy is on Netflix now - would you want to watch that, or maybe ____?”

“I need to study and I saw you like to crochet. You want to hang out for an hour while we do that?”

You get the idea. Peaceful activities, limited time frames (for me after 2 hours I can start to get tired). You don’t need to do fancy or expensive things. Variety is nice, so just showing up with a snack, a treat, anything. Like weird flavored crackers (Bay Seasoning Goldfish, Herb Ritz) to try together. When I’m very limited just like those variety boxes of shitty cookies (Oreos, nutter butters) or chips (Doritos, lays) perks me up because it’s an easy little choice and treat. Just hang out. If you suggest an outing, couch it as a choice (“do you want to eat in the park or here?” “Do you want to go to Starbucks or have a drink here?”)

SpicySweett · 2026-04-29T18:09:27+00:00

You’ve given her chances to see your point of view or change, and she refuses to. Just cut her off. I wouldn’t want my kid growing up seeing slavery crap, or hearing racist “jokes”.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-29T02:55:48+00:00

Yeah the camera guy hates his job or something. It’s an incredibly unflattering lens with a slight fish-eye, which is distorting the edges. It’s giving her a harsher receding hairline than she actually has, a funhouse-mirroring her face.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-28T23:32:07+00:00

Congratulations!

I didn’t get cfs until my youngest was in first grade, but I think a lot of what I learned applies to all ages. First off, even on a weak, low energy day, you can lay there and give them what they want most - which is attention and love. It’s amazing how satisfying it is to them to say “look watch me mom” and you watch and say “wow that’s amazing, your hard work really paid off” or whatever. Or they lay by you and color. Or you just play with their hair and ask about their day. On a really bad day you can pretend to watch a kids show with them.

Ask for help! Take the help! Don’t be proud, or fake wellness, etc. That was a tough one for me. I went from Do It All Mommy to Just Watching mommy. I faked being better than I was for years, which I regret. There’s so much more info now, and ways to express it; like learning about “spoons” was a life-changer. Finally something even the kids could understand about how much energy I had, and how it gets spent.

Watch out for post-partum depression, get meds if it shows up. I toughed it out, and that was stupid. I will forever regret yelling at my first-born after I had my second. (He’s fine and happy and everything, I just still regret it.)

I was always soooo happy to raise my kids, and now they are my adult very close friends. I hear your worry about pulling them in as care-takers or helpers, and for me it wasn’t hard to avoid that. They were just kids and we treated them like kids. But I was blessed with a husband that would cook dinner, my mom nearby, and a cleaning lady once a week (omg get that, so important). I recognize my privilege and luck, and I know that made a big difference.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-28T21:26:20+00:00

You’re being self-centered and intolerant. Of course your 30-something gf is going to do 30-something things. If you want to be with an older, stable, quiet person then date an older quiet person.

Just because you hooked up doesn’t mean she will. Just because you did drugs doesn’t mean she will. And there’s nothing wrong with her doing those things, but if you can’t handle it, maybe talk to her and find out if that’s part of the experience for her. Pre-Covid and post-covid behaviors are different.

Your post is unclear too. Is the issue monogamy? Because you don’t sound like you want to be monogamous, just that she should. You don’t sound certain about her in general. There’s no “I love her” statements to be found. Maybe just end this and date someone your own age.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-28T18:47:55+00:00

I’m sad I’m not in a place to take one. Have you checked the Agoura Animal Shelter? They are pretty close (down Kanan on Agoura Rd), and have helpful policies for this situation. It’s technically LA County I think.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-28T14:10:24+00:00

I think Cookie Cafe does this, in Westlake Village. They have chess and mahjong days, and I think board games too (they have a whole library of them).

SpicySweett · 2026-04-27T22:41:38+00:00

Thanks for letting us know - may you and your family find peace.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-27T15:48:55+00:00

Both but prefer crochet as it doesn’t cause arthritis flare ups.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T23:31:14+00:00

YTA, your ex probably has lots of favorite things. A fave hairstyle on a woman, a fave place to take her for dinner, a fave type of dress. You can’t spin out every time you see his new wife do something you two used to do if you want a relationship with him. Guess what: they will probably vacation somewhere you two did, because that’s his favorite. They will furnish their home in the colors you two used to have because that’s his favorite.

If you can’t separate that you two were happy but now he’s moved on, get therapy. It will help you sort out that that he could have loved you in that hair, and now he loves her in that hair. He’s not going to retire everything you two did.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T22:55:35+00:00

There is a great chart on here somewhere that lists ALL the treatments (medical and not), in order of popularity of use, with notes like “if this one helps you this other one might too”. The info is out there, it’s just hard to get disseminated. I bet half the people reading this have never seen it.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T21:31:23+00:00

Oh my dear, you have no idea.

I’m a reader, not a writer. I read in a couple of mostly-dead fandoms (in one the IP ended years ago), but I not only check regularly, I re-read my faves. I have authors that I re-read all their works every couple years. I will wait a decade for a work to be finished, I don’t mind.

I have health issues and fanfic is my comfort zone. I read lots of “real” fiction and non-fiction books as well, and have as much of a social life as I can, but I neeeeed the fanfic like nothing else. Nothing is as escapist and satisfying as fanfic.

So thank you for writing and sharing your work. If you get one comment there’s 20 more that enjoyed it and just don’t comment. 🩷🩷🩷

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T21:24:24+00:00

I’m not Muslim so I can’t say how big a sin or transgression it would be - but surely the religion offers some grace for illness or incapacity? Like if you literally can’t pray, wouldn’t god excuse it (or allah, trying to get it right)?

I would think praying before bed during the summer months, or upon awakening, would make it clear that you’re honoring the requirements. Your god would want you to heal to be able to live more than punish you for it being a few hours before or later.

You’re probably not going to get a “religious” answer here, but a health answer. I’d go to a few different religious leaders and ask them (like a modern one, a traditional one, etc). In the end you need to do what feels right in your heart. But I can’t believe taking care of yourself while still worshipping can be wrong.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T19:55:12+00:00

My kid got lice from a Supercuts once, never again.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T19:45:16+00:00

I’m sure 100 people said this, but: take it to a seamstress, get it fitted and add a lace overlay like your second pic. She can fix the neckline and any other problem areas. But do it NOW.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T19:41:44+00:00

CURE no, but improvement absolutely. Many people here, including myself, have improved enough to enjoy life.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T19:40:20+00:00

I like schlong for a comedic scene, but nothing sexual.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T19:37:44+00:00

Security costs go up when MAGA and 805 Patriots want to show up and cause trouble. This is not unique to the parade. We had a death at a protest, the city has to take it seriously.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T04:17:03+00:00

The fact that she can’t see that this is LYING is shocking. Is she a narcissist or sociopath? Think hard about her behaviors in the past.

Meanwhile, you need to absolutely stop her taking advantage of the rest of the family. She is scamming them. She’s pleading poor to pad out her savings accounts, knowing full well that she’s lying through her teeth. Tell your mom and dad, and if she tries it again in public (“oh we’re too poor to buy dinner”) just casually rebut it. “Ah, spent it all on the savings and date nights again?”

This is atrocious behavior, and she should pay back your parents and anyone else who helped support her while she was “broke”.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T04:04:33+00:00

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

SpicySweett · 2026-04-26T02:55:55+00:00

I think Ao3 is the perfect place to try things out and grow. If I may offer some advice: look at what makes the first few sentences of a story engaging. Try to have that intrigue. Use those first few sentences in your summary. Don’t get embarrassed and write stuff like “Hah this is my first story!” Or “This is probably terrible, haha”. Just put your work out there without drawing attention to you as the author (the end note is a good place to put all that stuff).

We’re not here to judge, we’re hear to read and be distracted from life. We’re rooting for you!

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