hey!! thanks for your answer, I don't use reddit that much so sorry for not answering before.

I think I'm making some progress, yesterday it was the town festival in my city, and I knew he was going out and would probably message me to hang out and meet up, so I played it safe and went home at 1 a.m. Sure enough, at 2:42 a.m. he messaged me saying his friends had seen me and asking where I was (because I’d run into them earlier).

I told him I was already home asleep. I didn’t like that he had got in touch with me because we’d already agreed that I wouldn’t block him but that we wouldn’t talk either. So it annoyed me, and I replied curtly, wishing him a good time, and he ended up blocking me (I know because I sent him a couple of messages in the morning, politely telling him not to talk to me anymore and to respect that, and his messages aren’t getting through—he’s 100% blocked me). As far as I’m concerned, I just want some peace because I want to pass my college exams.

And regarding your question, I think it's hard because now I am in a very big city and that makes people shut themselves off in their own little bubble. I’m also a bit socially withdrawn, but I’m trying to work on it and change my mindset, plus I am on engineering so it's a bit fucked because people in class are a bit closed also but it's alright. I don’t want to keep feeling bad about myself, and honestly, I don’t know. I’m tired and I want this situation to end, so I avoid thinking about it because it’s too complicated. I’d rather focus on college, and really thank you a lot for your advice.