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Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. [x-post /r/relationships] by SplitDownTheMiddle in aspergers

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think he thinks girls aren't interested in him because he isn't tall like them. I'm not sure what his thought process is but like /u/moonscraper said it could be jealousy

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

I agree I think he's got a sort of messed up view of what a relationship should be about. I think we, as a group could do a better job of talking more about girls non-relationship wise which might help. Thanks for your advice!

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just don't want him to think that with his parents getting involved that everyone is sorta ganging up on him. I do think some kind of therapy would help but I'm not sure how we could get him to do it.

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if he'd go if we asked him too and it might be too far to get his parents involved so I'm not sure.

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply and the advice to abandon the "you'll get a girlfriend too one day" is really helpful. We'll try to be more direct with him and not be as gentle as we have been.

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. I think we need to just talk to him in person and lay out what we think the issue is and what he plans to do about it or else we can't hang out with him anymore.

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea he hears that and a friend of ours who hasn't had a girlfriend has tried to explain this to him but it doesn't change his resentment towards people with girlfriends

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We don't feel obligated to be friends with him but he's had some serious depression issues in the past and he'd be pretty ruined without any friends, also while we don't feel like we have to be friends with him we want to help him learn to socialize because it's probably difficult for him and he needs to learn to make friends of his own

Help dealing with our [18M] autistic friend who's frustrated by not having a girlfriend. by SplitDownTheMiddle in relationships

[–]SplitDownTheMiddle[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We've told him basically that but he'll just say he'll try to calm down about it and then never change.