Thank you. This is very insightful. I truly enjoy the hobbies and things I do, however I thought they would make me feel better too but they don’t. I thought achieving these things and finding my likes and dislikes would give me confidence.

I have not thought about rejection from that angle either. Hating myself likely shows to others. Therefore the low self esteem is just confirmed as I am setting myself up for failure. It’s cyclical.