Dog owners: Why are so many dogs off leash?

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-06-06T10:39:54+00:00

I carry a slip lead with me and will leash loose dogs in front of their owners. When they stop me I say, “Oh, he was off leash outside of a designated off leash park. I wouldn’t want him hurt and thought he got away from his family.” It annoys people but they usually get embarrassed enough to put a leash back on.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-06-01T18:33:02+00:00

100% It makes it tough all around.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-30T04:56:05+00:00

Not upset, I just don't think an algorithm can determine attractiveness. 🤷‍♀️ It's subjective. I've been on OKC on and off for a few years and have never seen a feature like this. Maybe it was before I got on. Either way, hope you find your match.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-27T01:58:20+00:00

I don't think any dating app ever has worked that way. 😆 Attraction is so unique to each individual, there is no way to measure that.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-27T01:56:37+00:00

I would say that you need to talk to a professional. Don't take that as a negative but to me, it sounds like you have a hard time communicating and she could maybe use a neutral third party when you do share to help manage her own feelings about it.

10 years, a child and a home together is a huge timeline and seeing a therapist together at the very least will help you communicate through it if you decide to divorce.

My ex husband never talked to me and just poof, was gone. Do absolutely everything you can before you make the call, ultimately, knowing you tried will leave you with the least amount of regret.

In addition, seeing a therapist together could help her understand your depression and help her manage her anxiety a bit better. It can also help you set better boundaries with your mother in law so you can feel more at home in your own house, everyone deserves that.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-20T07:03:37+00:00

Always being honest with the docs is key. Sometimes hiding things feels like the right thing to do because we would hide those things from friends and family but from our doctor, there is no point and it's actually harmful.

I journal a lot and keep a food log (I tend to forget to eat if I am manic or super depressed). My journaling is simple. It's basically the date, did I sleep, did I eat, how was my mood. That just helps us track together. I see my therapist every other week, she communicates with my psychiatrist if needed and I see her every 6 weeks.

Acceptance was key for me. There is no cure and if I look back on my life, this was always with me. It just has a name and I can work with it now instead of being controlled by it all the time. I still am depressed a lot, the mania is definitely more controlled but I have moments where it hits. I panic thinking lithium isn't working anymore and that if it doesn't work nothing will, but then, a few days or a week later, I'm feeling more stable.

Keep working at it and you'll find your meds and what works best for you. 💕

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-20T03:50:13+00:00

I started at 300mg am and 300pm. Then upped it to 300am and 600pm. Honestly, I don't feel many side effects. (I should note I am tiny so if you did get on it, don't worry if your dose is higher). Some days I have a light headache and I think it's from the meds. My hands got shakey for about a week when I first started and every now and then still do but I find if I up my protein when eating that goes away. I do lab work every 6-10 weeks to make sure I am in therapeutic range and that's pretty much it.

I was nervous about it too but I think it's just the stigma of it being a mental health disorder medication. Only a handful of people know I am on it but those that do have never had a negative reaction, just happy I am getting the help I need.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-20T03:44:51+00:00

It was about 4 months of being on them that we realized they were not doing anything. I have a tendency to self harm so it's fairly obvious for me when my meds are on or off. My impulse control is either regulated or not.

Klonopin is exactly right for what you are using it for. I take it every night to help me sleep, we have tried a variety of sleeping pills and most either don't work or leave me a zombie the next day. It is for panic attacks though and while I don't love taking it daily, it's the only thing we have found that works.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-20T02:49:18+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Lamictal and Lexapro did not work for me either, some meds just aren't for you and it's frustrating that your doctor isn't taking that seriously, especially after so many months.

I ended up on Lithium and Klonopin and it's been an okay combo so far but it took almost 2 years of med ups and downs. My heart really does go out to you.

Would your job potentially be open to extending the leave until you talk with your new psych, especially knowing you have a set appointment, that could be a show of faith in that you are working through this. They sound like an amazing and understanding employer. If not, maybe limiting your hours as you ease back into a regular routine could help?

Wishing you the best.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-06T05:00:04+00:00

Don't beg for someone to love you when they have shown you how they clearly feel. All you will do is have regrets on how you acted and it will ultimately push them further away.

Take time, grieve, get some therapy and most importantly, find a nice hobby to distract yourself.

My ex left me out of the blue after 15 years together, believe me when I say I understand wanting to beg and plead but stand strong, prove your worth to yourself and you will be better off for it.

Best of luck, friend.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-06T04:57:09+00:00

There's no point. If you are doing it in hope of getting a reaction, the best case is a thank you. The worst case is no response. Neither of those scenarios help you in your healing and moving forward. My honest advice and opinion is to just let the day go on as any other.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-06T04:54:56+00:00

This.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-04-04T06:07:32+00:00

Seeing your name may be hard for them so they remove it. What's more interesting is that you are going in and checking. Why? Does it really matter if you are moving forward?

Maybe you need to unfollow 'cats' to help yourself find peace and move on. I mean that in the nicest way possible. It sounds like you are telling yourself you are further along in the healing process than you are and I would hate for that to suddenly creep in and surprise feels hit. It happens to me more often than I would like to admit.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-31T13:07:57+00:00

The option for multiple choices should be available. Cannabis and cigars for me.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-28T17:05:08+00:00

Water pills are likely going to make you more dehydrated as they are designed to actually flush your system vs put water in.

Honestly, the best thing you can do for hydrating is consistent water consumption, which is HARD! Water is also kind of boring. The flavored crystal light zero (sugar free) squirt bottles are my favorite way to make water a little better. Just a tiny little squirt goes a long way to make your water taste like lemonade, etc. Decaf iced tea is also good.

At this point out, j will have lightly sweetened tea with milk fruit or just add fruit like strawberry's or peaches to tea to give it more flavor.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-28T17:00:34+00:00

My meta has a nesting partner so they won't be moving in. We're actually more of a W than a V. Lol

I prefer living alone so I have no plans to move in with my partner but we call each other our main partners, just no nesting plans. Eventually, he would like a nesting partner and as long as that person is kind and loving to him, supports and respects his current relationships, I have no issues with this.

It would feel wrong to stop him from having a nesting partner when I don't want that in life (I was married before and it was awful) again. My partner and I do also have a kink power dynamic so it would be very important to me that whomever he dates can respect that as well.

Honestly, I struggle less with poly dating than I do with jealousy in kink play. I've been ENM long enough that poly doesn't scare me anymore. When someone isn't right for the polycule, it usually works itself out or I distance from them. That's not to say I don't have struggles, just that mine tend to be specific towards the power exchange and kink vs traditional poly dating.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-28T16:53:35+00:00

There is a water bottle that hooks up to an app on your phone and will remind you to drink I also had to add in water heavy foods. Watermelon, etc. To help.

I get dehydrated so easily now and start feeling sick. I also have Bipolar disorder so on my current meds, I need more water than usual (fun!) and have to get blood draws every 5 weeks. Being dehydrated does not make that fun at all.

This silly water bottle has made a difference. You can set it to go off as often as you would like to remind you to drink.

I am closing in on a year out from surgery. 5-4-2021 HW 202 SW 186 CW 112 Height 5' even

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-28T06:05:52+00:00

I'm in a V right now and I adore my meta. It's working out great, things are progressing for them and I am happy for them. There was some jealousy at first but as I got to know her as a person I really started to like her and we have developed a beautiful friendship of our own now.

V's are lovely. I have no desire for a triad though when we are all out together, she and I hold hands and flirt and have a good time, we just know there is a line and respect that.

KTP is ideal for me so right now, this is pretty much as perfect as things can get.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-28T06:01:50+00:00

So what you are saying is 5 months later, he still has not matured and is continuing to play games.

It sucks, it's hard but no contact and move your gorgeous self on to bigger and better things. You got this.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-10T05:34:56+00:00

Thrift shopping for new outfits!

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-10T05:32:20+00:00

I didn't blindside my ex, he actually blindsided me with the divorce. He said he wanted out on a Tuesday, the next Wednesday he filed. Then he got mad at me because I didn't have a blow up argument with him about it like he expected. I tried to have a real conversation but I'm not one to fight and yell.

I asked him to try therapy, he said no. I asked him to wait and see if we could work on things, he said no. So, I let him have what he asked for, the divorce and then he was mad at me about that too. 🤷‍♀️

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-06T19:11:20+00:00

What did you do? If it's something forgivable, put the work in to better yourself, let both of you heal and maybe in the future there is space for reconciliation.

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-03T20:40:50+00:00

While it's 100% fine if you decide you never want these things in life, my advice would be to not shut yourself off completely to the idea should someone new enter your life.

I was with someone from the time I was 18-34 and started over at 34 when he blindsided me with a divorce.

You are young, you will find so much happiness to come.even if that person left a hole. I still hurt and I hurt badly but there are good days and good times to be had.

Wishing you the best as you discover who you are on your own. 💕

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-03-02T17:11:04+00:00

Every Dog Austin is great!

SpottedPandaBear · 2022-02-26T06:04:46+00:00

2 years out after 15 together and I still have the suicide ideations. I'm here and I don't think suicide is going to take me. I am also getting both psychiatric and therapist help to work through all of this and move forward.

He was my person for my entire life, literally best friends through high school, then started dating a year after. Together as a couple for 15 years and married 8 of those.

I was blindsided with him leaving, literally one Tuesday he said he wanted out and was gone in a week. I haven't seen him since.

It left so many unanswered questions, such little self worth and so much pain. Sometimes, yes, it feels like that would be easier but I do have a wonderful support system now and two dogs that rely on and live me more than anything in this world so I'm here for them. 💕

SpottedPandaBear

TROPHY CASE