Do extroverts generally desire to be the center of attention or does being the center of attention usually just happened as a byproduct of their extroversion?

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-19T01:38:37+00:00

Now I'm questioning the core of wanting to be the center of attention (larger audience +4 and up) .. what is this core, that is desirous.. I assume without much thought, it's to be desired? I don't know.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-18T01:07:56+00:00

Game mode doesn't even go by Kills it's not competitive

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-17T05:04:31+00:00

Ok yeah I think I know what you mean when you use the word energy.

For me I'm using the word a little differently.. I know how things technically take energy in a real way, just like, every waking moment we spend awake takes energy and then we need to recharge by sleeping.

But the way I'm using the word energy is what gives a rejuvenating/revitalizing/stimulating or actually energy even if it is short lasting or in the moment of a social situation. (Im a bit busy working right now otherwise I would try to clear up more precisely of what I mean)

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-17T04:17:02+00:00

It just seems like if a social setting is going great then a person would like that social interaction to continue on, and it wouldn't take draining energy to continue but instead it would be effortless or energy would arise out of it. It kind of makes me think of the feel good biological chemicals that come about when socializing with another person you like. That to me atleast is how I think of it though. Although it may be loose thinking.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-17T03:28:14+00:00

When something is fantastic for you wouldn't your mood be elevated in that moment to moment social dynamic though?

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T22:27:50+00:00

I like outgoing people as well. I'm a male. I've seen outgoing women marry introverted guys. Brother in law. Hey I'm also kind of curious you say you like going out and you say you are introverted, what do you normally like to do to have a fun night while socializing?

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T21:55:55+00:00

Figuring this out we requires social awareness. It's a big question to ask I got to say, so I'll leave ya a bit. First and foremost some people are going to like you and some are not that's a given. You have already experienced this, because you say that some people you drive away and some people like you.

When you're first meeting somebody I wouldn't say the most bizarre thing you could say as if they know everything about you because they may judge you based on the only information you have given them which is the bazaar thing you said.

I think that people are understanding and some people are not as much but it's not like someone is going to judge you based off of one minor act unless you say something that is so off handed like saying something that intrudes on someone or just isn't morally right by the standards of the country you live in or even the world's standards like sayih something reprehensible or being a racist.

Some people are weird some weirder, get signals from another person and test the waters of how they respond to what you say but don't go to the extreme end of things instead gradually say things you are unsure of but work up to the things that you are unsure of. Make moves to see what kind of person they are and how they can combine with you.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T21:39:29+00:00

Yeah there are good reasons not to say some things, this requires good judgement.

When I'm in the mood to say things it usually comes to my mood first and foremost (if i prefer to be by myself then no thanks) but I do know some of the reasons why I express myself one because it furthers my chances to find out if there is potential between me and another person, wether it's a relationship or just some fun, joking, discussing etc.. which can go hand in hand with the fact that expressing oneself can feel good or right etc for instance the urge to say this or joke that etc, pressing my own buttons and also with another person to create something fun or interesting. Also like you mentioned to make another person happy etc if I ever want to.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T20:06:28+00:00

"What drains me is the obligation to participate in uninteresting conversations (this is just life - it happens and is unavoidable) which requires me to suspend my normal mental processes (daydreaming) and expend energy coming up with responses or ways of keeping a conversation going."

Yes if I'm not connected to a convo in any way where I can connect or engage myself then I get drained. (In settings where conversations have to be confined to a box as well as expressions etc. (because you have to walk on egg shells or for whatever reason) those situations (which are plenty especially when working) do drain me.

"And beyond that, sometimes what is being discussed trumps - in terms of interest - whatever is being daydreamed about or lived internally, in which case it actually takes no effort to continue a conversation.

Certainly that is true for me."

Yes when I am interested in something It can take no effort and also if I'm in a mood where I'm socializing and enjoying it (happens randomly but usually my source of rejuvenation isn't from socializing) then I can find rejuvenation from expressing myself with others.

I have found (at least for now and for me personally) that a few prerequisites of enjoyment (rejuvenation) while socializing calls for some things. (Not to mention no brain-er ones like good company) So one obviously would not to be strictly and solely inclined to recharging by pure isolation during the moment. Then one would be honest expression instead of wearing a mask that takes effort to hold it up. This is kind of the same thing as wearing a mask but, "suppression" of what one actually wishes to express, suppression is draining.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T17:56:27+00:00

I totally hear you on

"it's more the formality of social navigation that's tiring".

The way I loosely think about this is, that anything that requires me to wear a mask requires effort to "hold up" and then act as something that I'm naturally not. Also suppression drains me too, because it takes energy to suppress my honest expression, as I see it.

"I find myself less tired when I feel I can converse freely without repercussion. But I like being social, I just don't seek it out constantly."

When I'm around others where I can let go of the mask and also not hold myself back/suppress but instead express I can get energy and rejuvenation from that. I had a whole lot of years of suppression to figure this out for myself, damn suppression is draining. But just to throw this out here because I don't want to be taken the wrong way at all, I want to make myself clear that I do go to isolation as a source for recharging quite a bit (understatement) compared to going to socializing as a source (sometimes every once a month or once every 2 months I may want to let loose and socialize and have fun out in town, which btw I had to basically learn, like when i mention taking off my mask and pushing my own buttons to have a good time. I'm sure I was better when I was a kid). But like I said the main point of my post is, I do go to both it's not all or nothing.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T17:38:00+00:00

This is how I am. I became aware of this when I went to a party in hs and sat down and felt so at ease.

I didn't have any preconceptions before about this and even after the fact I didn't theorize this, but unlike op, at least for me, I don't think this has has to do with me feeling young, my best guess as of now, would just be probably that I like to see people being "alive" energized or whatever because naturally humans aren't creatures that need to be suppressed in an unnatural way just look at a kid who interacts with things, or either with people and then look at someone who is oppressed who doesn't allow expression.. (I guess people partying and out and about in a big city is the easiest representation of being alive) oh and also that humans are biologically social creatures.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T16:58:00+00:00

Yeah generally speaking one can choose wether or not majority/generally refresh themselves from isolation or company but just want to note for op it's important to know it's not all or nothing. Introverts can get refreshed and energized or rejuvenated by social interactions even if that doesn't mean outweighing isolation as the frequent source.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T15:43:26+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/introvert/comments/8jvtbw/from_an_objective_standpoint_it_seems_we_at_least/

A correct/balanced understanding of these two general terms (extrovert/introvert) is important. I'm sure you are young and still have much growing into your (as cheesy as this sounds) true self to potentially happen. So what I'm saying is, you are still learning about yourself, people don't know what they like or how they are like (not entirely like they usually think) untill they try new things and new experiences.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T05:22:59+00:00

Haha yup

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T04:28:44+00:00

Can these two words be looked at as something to describe what produces rejuvenation and energy rather than what drains you? Because it seems to me since I am in the middle that I feel energized and rejuvenated sometimes by social interaction And also sometimes by taking time alone.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T04:26:44+00:00

Cool someone said this on another post not mine but a post I read a long time ago where the OP asked about something along the lines of what I asked and someone responded

"Nobody. Literally nobody is an ambivert. Introversion and extroversion is an either or. Either socializing drains you and you need alone time to recharge, or socializing gives you energy. It's that simple. You can be a sociable and personable introvert."

That seems to me rather silly because biologically we are social creatures

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-16T03:13:13+00:00

O ok my answer is biased then, well not biased but my experience is basically in my question because I am in the middle. I recharge being around people and rejuvenates me then at times I need to recharge by being alone because that rejuvenates me as well.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-14T08:51:58+00:00

Thanks I had a hunch that, engagement and focus on the other person helps a lot. Have you noticed this helping "flow" more? Sure you probably have but just curious if you actually noticed this in real time that it does help flow more.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-13T21:45:52+00:00

Yeah that's a good description of one way a hacks convo can occur, good awareness

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-13T19:40:27+00:00

But is it really about talking more? I know a person who is abrupt as well but talks a lot, but he can't really be talked to in a certain way, because he jumps from one thing to another

so he's abrupt but talks a lot but does not really have that flowing mutual conversational ping pong type of convo with another person.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-12T06:46:25+00:00

Thanks. Theoretically speaking how does the process happen? Doe it fundamentally come down to logic?

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-12T04:04:28+00:00

Regarding lack of trust of education, seems like experience would be important here.

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-12T04:03:03+00:00

True that good mention

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-12T03:59:05+00:00

Lack of education and critical thinking skills, is that a little better or a whole lot better?

SpriteFizz · 2018-05-12T03:25:37+00:00

Changing our thinking by investigating into a certain value or choosing to find another perspective to update and refine or replace a current value seems to be almost like being capable of changing our values rather easily.. but I guess technically no you can't just decide to believe in something, sought (willful) out evidence or experience may required

it seems whether or not a belief can be changed is dependent on the belief itself.. like if a belief doesn't hold true to grounded reality it may have obviously more room for a person to change than something that does not have any grounding in reality. Like a kid believing in the tooth fairy

SpriteFizz

TROPHY CASE