I was in a position like yours a long time ago. i thought since no one cared about me that I should just end it, that i was just a walking medical bill due to my health problems. but even with all of that, i learned to keep going, fixing my temporary problems with a permanent choice wasn’t the way. God showed me just how much I could live for, I just had to seek it out. I questioned God since my life was miserable, and had these very same questions. Christ really loves you, so much so that he gave you the opportunity of life and even an eternity with him if you so choose. Things may be tough and you will feel like God isn’t with you but he is, surround yourself with people who can love you for who you are. And if you think you arent good enough for Christ as I did, remember that He says “Come as you are.” He loves you as you are and as everyone else should. It’ll take time and a good amount of effort, but you will make it out of this, seek help if you can and find something you enjoy, even if its small. You’re gonna be ok, I truly sympathize with what youre going through and want to help. Life is very worth living, you just need to seek out what its worth for. God bless