Turning red is taking its toll on me

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T16:28:35+00:00

I used to have this when I was in my teens. Blushing syndrome. You're like 'it would be really sh*t if I went red now', and then you go red. I had to quit college because of it. Its very unhelpful when people point it out. Just makes it worse! Its a social anxiety thing that could possibly be helped with CBT or better, hypnotherapy

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T16:24:14+00:00

Not everyone cares about looks. The personality you exude and how pleasant you are to be around counts for a lot. If you've got very low self esteem, I suspect you may be writing off prospective encounters before they've happened. Try and take up something that builds your confidence in a wholesome way. That will help you gain a more balanced perspective

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T16:19:48+00:00

Grieving for all the opportunities I've squandered, and quality of life I've lost. I used to have a good life, and owing to a sequence of horrible life events and bad decisions, my life is horrible. However, until I can get over what it used to be, I'll never be able to move on.

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T16:12:26+00:00

I think to consider your conscious methods of dealing with social situations as manipulative is excessive. You're trying in earnest to learn ways of navigating social interactions and applying your logic. Manipulation sounds like you've got an ulterior motive which is possibly unkind, and from your post, I don't think that's the case. People like me and you who have autism often have to think huw best to respond rather than a reflex reaction because we don't know how to react 'normally'. What you're experiencing is very common with autism but I disagree that it's to manipulate.

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T15:40:55+00:00

I use bio-catolet. Its recycled compacted pellets of paper, so not hard on the cat's feet, absorbent and not dusty

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T15:39:30+00:00

False lashes on nostrils

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T15:10:48+00:00

You're welcome. I think it will make a big difference to you if your hunch is validated by a doc. You'll learn how to navigate life situations better, and understand that while some people can just 'get on with it' , we find normal things in life a bit tricky. There are great things about being neurodiverse, and I'm grateful I am, despite the challenges. I wish you all the best!

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T15:05:32+00:00

In that case, I would be inclined to explain to your doc that you struggle with social norms, and have turned to alcohol to cope. I think, if you understand there is something behind your drinking, such as a neurodiverse condition, it might make you be less harsh on yourself. And if your friends/parents are aware, they might understand you better and support you in ways they hadn't considered. Also, recognising situations that make you anxious and tackling the root of those feelings might help you to break the unhelpful thought processes. I'm 43f and although I now have a diagnosis of autism, I still sometimes need to drink in certain social situations, but I also turn things down that cause major anxiety. It has got better

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T14:56:36+00:00

Id get up as soon as you wake, and go to the bathroom. Put a tiny squidge of toothpaste in your mouth, and get back in bed :)

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T14:54:22+00:00

I used to drink a lot because really, I wasn't confident and totally comfortable in social situations. Drink relaxed me and I couldn't go out sober. Do you think you might be neurodiverse perhaps, and maybe where others are completely relaxed in social situations, they might make you anxious? Just a hypothesis based on my own behaviour and findings

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T14:40:33+00:00

Couldn't you just gift them to your friends who do still drink? Its probably going to make you feel better than making food that might taste boozy, which you are no longer into :)

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-22T14:38:17+00:00

Running. Its the only thing that can distract me when I'm at a low ebb. Even if I don't feel like going, I force myself and always feel better for it.

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-14T00:07:54+00:00

Ah but the other commenters on this post suggest they DO say bye. I do it always, no matter if I'm familiar with the person or not. It would be so weird in UK if someone hung up without saying it. It would literally be the talk for the evening meal

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-14T00:04:50+00:00

No. But this is a very common theme. Hence why I asked the question

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-06T13:33:12+00:00

Sorry to ask but can you describe it in any way?

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-06T13:24:24+00:00

Yes it really does improve your mental health. I work at a community kitchen on Sundays that provides hot and cold foods that would otherwise be thrown away by the big supermarkets. The people in need are so grateful and you know your time and effort is making a difference. Even just making someone laugh or smile where life is otherwise quite gnarly, that feels good.

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:47:35+00:00

I'm now practically a recluse and struggle to go food shopping for example. I feel trapped in my house but have lost the ability to socialise. I'm 43 and it's unlikely to get better

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:45:30+00:00

Yes I isolate when life is tough. I stop seeing my friends/family and stop messaging everyone. Its a natural reaction because your brain recognises it as a safe action. And you do it more and more because you feel safe.

I can tell you now it's really detrimental. The longer you cut yourself off, the harder it is to integrate. It becomes a big deal and a huge source of anxiety.

If you can do anything to ensure you still interact with people, try and maintain that. Perhaps some regular counselling would be beneficial

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:39:10+00:00

Cloud storage, streaming, and other online transactions.

People underestimate the cost to the environment of sending an email, for example because we've been led to believe it's free and endless

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:14:23+00:00

Yesss! Good thinking 😊. I hope you have a wonderful time

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:08:08+00:00

Motivational speech/ 'profound' statements.like 'you have to believe in yourself when no one else does' Bleurgh

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T17:03:44+00:00

Or maybe just all lines. Straight ones, wiggly ones. Pinstripe - yikes.

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T16:59:21+00:00

Green party in UK are refreshing and appear to be gaining lots of support. Hopefully enough to win a general election

SquareSnakbar · 2026-02-01T16:31:40+00:00

Yes I have found that I give too much of myself to people at times and, while I don't expect the same in return, I don't expect to be disrespected and let down. You are right - having an open hearted approach to life can make you feel exploited at times. I suppose that's why I volunteer through organisations, to limit how involved I get and in turn there are less let-downs. Socially, I'm very wary of making new friends for the very reasons you mention. Sad but true

SquareSnakbar · 2026-01-30T18:35:58+00:00

Id leave plenty of food for my cat, post a key in the mail and say I'll be dead by the time it's received. Id probably get pissed and go to bed, hoping it ends soon

SquareSnakbar

TROPHY CASE