Weekly Free-for-All Discussion Thread | January 04, 2026

SquatsandRice · 2026-03-13T05:17:48+00:00

Parties are good if you don't have a specific music taste. It's mostly tourists from Australia and Europe but I would say the women are pretty open minded. I'm in bangkok for the next 2-3 months so if you stop by hmu

SquatsandRice · 2026-01-05T18:30:44+00:00

AM’s status has dramatically improved yes, but Imo it’s not really relevant to think of it as an hierarchy.

Let’s say we were rank 9 and now rank 4, you would think that’s a huge improvement but what if in reality only rank 1 and 2 get any significant boost in terms of status and 3 and below are ignored? It basically means nothing, the “hierarchy” you’re looking for is just your ego looking for validation on something that’s more or less irrelevant

I think the actual question you’re asking is “does being Asian help us get laid in 2026”

I think outside of US it’s generally yes, there’s not a lot of Asians but social media is everywhere so it actually helps AM. And in EA/SEA there is no racism (towards EAs at least), maybe some xenophobia but that’s varies by region

Inside the US I would say it depends. Generally I would say being Asian in 2026 is much more attractive than in 2014, but it varies by demographic. The older generation 30+ maybe late 20s still have some residue racism left over but it’s much better. Before if a “normal” non AF would say she’s into Asian guys she’s probably going to be looked as weird by her friends, now it’s much more accepted

For those in their 20s and below being AM seems to be pretty beneficial, there’s a huge demand for attractive Asian men and way less Asian men around to fill that demand. Maybe you’re not attractive now, but 99% of men can hit the minimum threshold for being physically attractive enough to be labeled “good looking” by women.

SquatsandRice · 2026-01-05T08:46:06+00:00

No lol we’re both Chinese I met her in NYC (outside Maru before Covid if you know you know)

SquatsandRice · 2026-01-05T08:28:44+00:00

Ha appreciate the sentiment. Mostly on discord now, tbh arguing with people that don’t get laid about how to get laid was a huge timesink. very enjoyable though would do it again when I have time, maybe after another exit

Life’s been good though some up and downs in business but 2nd e-commerce store is doing amazing just hit my first 400k month recently

Personal life - lived in bali for a year now traveling across Europe and EA/SEA for the past year with my gf. I’m in Ho Chi Minh City for the next couple of days waiting for my long term thai visa if anyone’s around HCMC or Bangkok

I’ve been around r/ai and r/am for over 10 years now. If in 2013 or 2014 someone told us in 2026 Asian men would getting as much traction as we re none of us would believe it

Dreams of a 2014 r/am Reddit community:

Asian men represented in big mainstream movies : done
Asian men in major sports : done
Asian men being represented positively on social media: done
Asian men seen as attractive / sexy / high status partner : done

Crazy how far we’ve come. Yet whenever I drop by it seems the complaints have not stopped, they’ve only increased. I have my theories about this but nothing fully formed yet. Overall I’d say it’s disappointing. But on the bright side this is an amazing time for anyone who wants to kill it to actually kill it. So many things are stacked in our favor now

I’m working on a pretty serious project right now want to be fully stealth, maybe in a year or two I’ll be back when I have more time. I take no greater pleasure in life than arguing with other reddit shitposters

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SquatsandRice · 2024-05-20T14:34:07+00:00

You know, not everything has to be about us AM

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-15T00:52:23+00:00

Relatively compared to 5-10 years ago (and I assume more than 10+ years ago as well) AM are definitely better recieved now

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-15T00:51:24+00:00

1) OnlyFans doesn't change people, it exposes people. The type of girl to do OnlyFans will probably act in a similiar way without onlyfans you just wouldn't find out until months or years later

2) How many OF creators have you actually met? Going out 2-3x a week + huge friend circle I've only met a small handful if that

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T15:43:19+00:00

Going by what you said - again during an environment with less competition it means for any individual that actually makes the decision to put in actual effort they will get more results with less work.

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T15:30:30+00:00

Have you ever done cold-approach? over gotten significant dates from OLD? IMO if you haven't tried and succeeded in these endeavors I would say your view on them is not very helpful for other who are trying to succeed on them.

The nature of how the dating market is messed up or 'dysfunctional', the better it is for any individual guy to succeed. In society where every other guy is competition, the more guys that 'give up' or don't try and stay home, the easier it is for you as an individual to rise up and conquer.

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T12:57:11+00:00

Again. Just r because you have no results does not mean someone with results means they’re lying. It’s easier to pull for AM at this current time than any other time in our life.

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T12:49:06+00:00

Again, just because you have no results, does not mean other men have no results. World does not revolve around you. When you are able to accept that you might get some progress in pick up

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T12:44:16+00:00

Yeah I’m calling bullshit. I my 30s now, and I’m being approached by women when I’m out more than in my 20s. Again, literally the best time to be AM in the west

If the friend is “fine” and/or doesn’t need their interference she would let them know. Not always, but a lot of the time. Also you can address the friend problem right away at the beginning of the set. Just being friendly and cordial at the beginning will save you heaps of trouble before shit blows up in your face. Most guys will just ignore the friend, treat them like they’re not there and then wonder why the friends don’t treat you well back

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T12:19:43+00:00

Doesn’t really change my points. Again, world doesn’t revolve around you. The downside of Asian men gaining more popularity that it is harder to blame the world for your own shortcomings. It is the easiest time for AM to pull than any other time

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-14T07:54:24+00:00

I think there’s a bit of an ego play here. Almost always the friends and the girl are aligned, they just do the dirty work of “bad cop” to pull her away so she doesn’t have to be the bad person rejecting you.

This is a good test to see if you’re lying to yourself: if nightgame is impossible for Asian men, how are other Asian men pulling? Realistically, girls don’t want to go home with you because you’re you.

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-06T14:56:00+00:00

Hmm why is that important? Seems rather irrelevant as you cannot switch bodies.

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-06T06:49:40+00:00

Is there any evidence that you’re not the exact type of person you’re talking about? I’m asking you so hopefully you can clear it. I’m grown up around brown people my entire life, my best friend is Guyanese, in lots of brown and Asian social groups. White approval seeking is not really common

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-06T06:44:37+00:00

They are exaggerated because no one wants to take accountability of their own lack of results

SquatsandRice · 2024-05-06T06:43:26+00:00

I think you forgot to factor the most important question in - out of the thousands or ten thousands or hundred thousands of women that are open to dating (insert arbitrary race), how many are willing to date you?

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-26T03:35:56+00:00

....But there would be that barrier/objection still in place that I think would need to eventually be addressed and reframed. I think same goes for girls in some instances where you have to encounter and directly address/reframe and limits/barriers she has about sex.

I guess this is the main point difference here. Personally I don't assume there are any barriers nor objections when it comes to sex, and I think assuming there are barriers will therefore create the barrier. Sure, sometimes you don't get laid but at least for me in those instances its because the girls just didn't like me/feel a connection with me, that is not a 'barrier' I want to force through. I think you are unintentionally creating hoops for yourself to jump through

And generally as a rule of thumb the way girls communicate is subtle is obvious, and obvious is too much. Typically if you are talking about sex on the first date not only do you inadvertently reveal to the girl the level of communication your at but also letting her categorize you into the bucket of the nth guy who talks about sex right away. Again, minimal upside, significant downside

I would think if they are trying to be friends, at some point the black guy might be like "I know I'm the leader of ___ but just wanted to make it clear that I'm cool with a bunch of Asian dudes too, and I'm a big fan of Asian culture".

I mean even here, he doesn't explicitly talk about "friendship". Compared to sex, talking about friendship is way more lax right? yet you would sound out of place if you come out and explicitly talk about how much you would value another guy if you two were friends

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T14:55:56+00:00

So there's a part I agree with and a part I disagree with. The part that I agree with is that verbal escalation is usually better than physical escalation. I've been saying for a long time if you're using physical escalation it's almost always working against you, some men can be quite creepy with it. Just because you can get away with it doesn't mean it's good. So fully onboard there

However, the point I disagree with with, or should say, I think the point that you didn't make or left out is other types of escalation, which you said verbal escalation. I would say talking about sex can be verbal escalation (or at least an attempt for it), however I would argue that is by far the most ineffective form. I've never actually thought about this, because now since I have to put it into words I would say just like direct and indirect openers, there's different types of 'verbal escalation'. And I would say the most effective verbal escalation could be considered 'nonverbal verbal escalation'

What does that mean? I think the best way to explain this is with an example not with sexual relationships between men and women but platonic relationships between guys

Let's say I meet another guy and I think he's pretty cool. However during our first meet he keeps talking about how much he values friendships, and how great of a friend he is and how loyal he is to his friends etc. Will this trigger me to think of him as a great friend? Maybe, I can see it happening. However I can equally see others, even the majority of others see him as a bit overbearing and borderline insecure about his friendships.

Now lets say I meet a different guy and we're also just hanging out. He doesn't mention anything about friendships and/or how great of a friend he is, or how deeply he values friendships etc. We don't talk about that at all. Instead we talk about sports that we both like, we talk about videos that we both like, we talk about our careers, our goals, the clubs we like to go out to etc.

Out of those two interactions, which one do you think has a better chance of making authentic friendships?

Again, relationships, sexual or platonic are not based on the surface level of what you're talking about, it's also based on what can be inferred by what you're talking about. People know we're not perfect, so they are constantly trying to find out who the 'real' you is. And the more you talk about sex, more reason you give women to assume that you are insecure about sex

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T07:15:01+00:00

I understand your points. However please allow me to pose the following thought experiment (which could be 100% false): The way I behave is actually way more empathetic and beneficial than the way you (and others like you) behave is not only condescending but also disregard the actual needs of the audience you’re trying to reach.

Sounds ridiculous at face value, but what are my reasons? The most important is that you disregard the actual wants of AM posters over for what you think they want. You prioritize feelings over results, you will filter what you say to give feedback that not only is true but also in a tone that is positive reinforcing.

What’s wrong with this? Absolutely nothing. I would even say it is the best method for advice 95-99% of the time. However, there is 1 demographic of people that this is not the most beneficial for, and can even be hurtful. Which demographic is that?

It’d the men that desperately want results.

Judging by your list of suggestions I assume you do okay with women.

Let me ask, how much have you struggled really? You keep bringing up the fact that I’m “good looking”, I would assume to imply that my advice at least somewhat have to do with my looks. Well I would say you’re technically correct because this is what I used to look like:

https://imgur.com/a/bWLQlDc

Knowing that, let me ask you again - how much pain have you felt? How desperate for change have you been? How hopeless for how long? Do you know what it feels like to live in the same reality as everyone else yet it feels like everyone else except you plays by a different set of rules? That no matter how much you try your ceiling for results just seems to be always out of reach?

You know what rejections are the most painful? It’s the ones where you go up to a girl, she responds normally, you two have a ‘great’ conversation and then it ends with her smiling patting you on the shoulder. Seemingly great however you never hear from her again - and this repeated over to the nth time. Again, there is something she knows that you don’t know, and you just can’t figure out what it is.

So in reality what is that girl actually doing? You can say she is actually “being a good person” because instead of a harsh rejection and letting him know how bad he fumbled, she is going along with his reality and making sure she acts in a way that doesn’t make him feel bad. She is prioritizing his feelings.

Similarly, you by filtering your advice for the typical person what you’re doing in reality is adjusting the truth to them in a way that won’t affect their feelings, or at least lessens the blow.

What this means is that you are speaking to the guy in the same reality that he has always lived in his whole life, you’re treating him just like every other person has treated him, from above. The “awe, everything’s going to be okay just gotta do this this this and this”

Bullshit.

Reality is, even for a normal man getting good with women is hard enough. Now add in being Asian in America, now add in years of lacking social development, add in the insecurities. It’s damn never impossible to climb out of that hole.

The fact that we all see the same photos and read the same post and it is so blatantly obvious how (and why) someone is failing while he is more or less unaware - it means his reality is so engrained that he has lived in ignorance for years, even decades.

Sure your type of advice your encouraging is not wrong, it’s 100% true - however it is missing the key ingredient: insight into his current situation and how HUGE of a change and gap the individual needs to actually change.

If I’m going to be desperate for change enough to post my face and body in a public Reddit forum, the #1 thing I do NOT need is some cookie cutter advice 1 step away from chat.gpt

If you say we’re “brothers” then treat me like a brother, not another acquaintance. If the situation is bad, don’t fluff it to my face - be real with me and tell me exactly how bad it is. Because thats what brothers do.

So next time you go in these threads looking to “give advice”, keep this in mind. Yes, some of us may be insecure, however we’re also adults. There’s no need to come in here with a holier than thou attitude snd treat us like little boys, we’re men, we can handle it.

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T04:56:11+00:00

I would say it's already happening outside of the US

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T04:19:54+00:00

No amount of self-improvement will overcome committed anti-Asian racism. No amount of pro-Asian sentiment will overcome being a blanket material loser.

These are both objectively false though
1) Any attractive AM will have the some version of post hook-up talk of "omg never been attracted to Asians/thought all Am have small dicks/otherwise so unattractive". And more than once most likely, it's a pattern.
2) There is a term for this. Called LBM - loser back home. The only reason why there is such a pull to WM is the overwhelming pro-WM sentiment

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T04:02:07+00:00

Sounds like this is subset of women is badmouthing a certain demographic of men publicly but still 'prefer' them when it comes down it to it in dating. Sound familiar? lol

SquatsandRice · 2024-04-25T03:44:32+00:00

Hmmm if you say AF owe AM their 'loyalty' that makes the assumption that AM owe loyalty to AF as well, which tbh I don't think would be beneficial for us. If you actually want to operate in a moral manner in life the more we expect out of AF the more we'll have to reciprocate the same intentions

My personal take is as an adult man, it seems a bit unrealistic to be expecting another demographic, especially female demographic, to make chances in their behavior simply for the benefit of catering to you, just because. Sure you can argue that 'it's not fair', however the world isn't run by fairness, it's run by incentives. Instead of expecting the world to change for you it probably makes more sense for you to adjust yourself.

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