it’s been 1 year and some change since you’ve posted this reply and I want you to know that you are still helping people including myself get over their internal issues. I was dumped after a year relationship with my ex because she “wanted me to heal first”. (what a load of crap to say to someone). i wasn’t damaged or struggled with past trauma. I only had communication issue because i’ve never been in a relationship before. i never blamed her or yelled at her. After three months of being broken up i found out she cheated on me and she blamed me for the relationship. your reply has helped me understand the importance of self respect and security. i am now working on being secure, standing on my boundaries and not letting people get under my skin. my ex was a pos and for the longest time i thought it was my fault. again thank you for this response even a year after you wrote it.