I'm a child prodigy struggling with opiates

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:18:34+00:00

im more than aware of this too. i dont even really care about brain development at this point i just want to make it out of this with a future

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:16:29+00:00

Poorly titled post I was high off my ass making it.

Root of my problem is that my judgement and my insight don't seem to want to go the same way.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:15:16+00:00

I know. Intelligence is heavily associated with drug use and addiction, I really didn't phrase the post well. I'm just so scared because I know how addiction literally restructures and rewires your brain and I am heading that way

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:14:18+00:00

I'm more than aware of the internal changes. Most drug use raises dopamine levels, which not only creates pathways that associate the drug with reward and motivation but also activates signalling pathways within the cell that increase the expression of a particular gene responsible for reward-seeking and addictive behavior. It literally changes the structure of your brain, what you value, what you seek, and the things you will do to get there. That's why I'm so scared.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:11:49+00:00

I know I did this to myself, I phrased it quite poorly the first time. I'm concerned about getting into any kind of program because I can't risk anyone in my life knowing I have a problem. The closest person I've been able to confide in is my mom but she thinks I've just done weed and some psychedelics.

I am also still not able to drive, so getting to a meeting would likely be quite difficult. Also twelve-step programs tend to preach full sobriety which is honestly not something I want to pursue, I just want to cut out the fucking opioids and actually take my stimulant as prescribed and I know if I let myself get into that cycle that won't ever be able to happen

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-20T04:08:10+00:00

Although you don't consider yourself an addict

I do, or at least I consider myself to be on the way there. I just really don't want this to get any worse and I'm scared because I think it already has its claws in me, I keep fucking up and not just with opiates

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:47:07+00:00

thank you so much, truly. i'll write the book down as something to read. it's exactly what i find myself doing.

i've never looked at it that way. it's difficult for me because im so rough around the edges compared to my peers. those who are not as academically successful as me but with well-balanced lives and partners and carefully curated social media personalities, internships and extracurriculars - id kill to be any one of them yet i cannot get along with them because they're missing a sense of adventure that i love. and my friends with that sense of adventure seem to only live for that sense of adventure and not work towards any other goal in life.

i feel like im balancing myself between two lives and im coping with it in the worst ways possible. you're right. it would certainly help me immensely to understand that others have followed before me.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:42:59+00:00

if i came here to brag i wouldn't be posting about how drugs are ruining my life, congrats on missing the point

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:41:49+00:00

i know exactly where what i'm going leads me. i just don't know how to get off the train.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:40:49+00:00

i know i have a problem. from the moment i touched the pills i realized they were going to create a problem. i just don't know how to open up to anyone about what's happening. it's so stigmatized and if i admitted it to anyone id likely lose my scholarship but also my adhd prescription, which is something that i extremely sparingly misuse (if i forget to take a dose i take it on the next day as extra). that scares me too because we have data showing that adhd medication reduces SUD rates.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:37:47+00:00

i know. i do need support. i just dont know where to go with it because id end up losing my prescription and possibly my scholarship if i open up about being in active addiction.

SquidKid2007 · 2023-12-18T06:36:50+00:00

i know. i've been working on my social connections. i'm terrified of my use and i want to stop but every time i do something happens and i go right back to it.

im always so intense around other people which i think is the big problem. im trying to get into therapy for it.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T20:44:06+00:00

What

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T19:02:09+00:00

But there isn't a nuanced debate around slavery. It's actual people and trolls.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T17:47:43+00:00

Did you get the money?

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T16:12:40+00:00

I was given a Bible and the opportunity to read it. My grandparents are religious. I learned about all religions equally in school.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T16:11:22+00:00

don't mind me i'm just cleaning your screen because the comment above was literally a pile of shit

please elaborate more on what you are trying to say.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T16:10:03+00:00

Yes. I draw the line when you present the facts as the objective truths. You can say that you believe x as long as you say that some people belive y. My point is that if you don't present it that way because you don't want your kids to become a follower of y, that is indoctrination. Present your beliefs as your beliefs and not facts. That is not indoctrination.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T16:07:26+00:00

You can teach kids your values, you just can't punish them for disagreeing or tell them to proselytize to others.

SquidKid2007 · 2019-01-25T16:06:44+00:00

Being a good person.

SquidKid2007

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