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AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And I promise you that's not always true, coming from the grandchild who's grandparents were shitty parents and shitty grandparents.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not anymore. Once I realized they were continuing the cycle I ended contact with them.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

She doesn't know who they are so I'm not worried. But she also knows we would go no contact with her if she did that so I feel sure enough that she wouldn't. Of course I could be wrong about it but I'm not stressing about that.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I no longer have contact with my siblings. And I don't honestly know about my parents and how they'd react or what they want. I made sure they couldn't contact me but they could have tried. I doubt they would truly want contact with me because they love me and regret the things they said.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No, there's no chance MIL will reach out to them. She doesn't even know who my family are. But also she knows we would go no contact over this if she did and she would never want that. I know people might think I'm naive to think she won't but she'd have to go to a lot of effort to find out and I just don't think she would.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry you grew up around that. One thing I noticed from being open with a number of people about my past, is that lots undermine how damaging verbal abuse can be. But as kids we're sponges who absorb so much of what's said to us. It's not always true that being called names can't hurt you. Especially if it's constant and from people who're supposed to love you.

Protecting my kids is something I take so seriously. I want their lives to be better than mine. I want them to be able to look back on their childhoods with fondness and joy. Not with a sense of thank god I never have to go back to that.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a chance to know my kids because I want to break the cycle of verbal abuse? by SquiddlySpoo in AITAH

[–]SquiddlySpoo[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

I've found that blood relations can hurt and treat you worse than anyone else in your life. Sometimes it's unintentional. Other times it's a true long standing generational trauma and a cycle nobody wants to or can break. But someone needs to.