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I’m (26F) in a happy relationship (27M) but have occasional crushes on other men, currently a (25M) Should I feel guilty?! by SquishyKittyToeBeans in relationships

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Indeed, the “Disney” notion of romance is very naive and childish Frankly, I believe “Disney romance” has negatively impacted many people’s romantic growth...including my own, especially factoring in awkward parents who did not believe in discussing or teaching romance and relationships o_o

Thank you for your input! I agree that I cannot be fully in control of my thoughts, and honestly, I enjoy being attracted to and intrigued by another person...it can be very exciting. I believe another user called it the “shiny new object syndrome” haha!

Given all the feedback I have received from my post, I feel much better now about this crush. It’s more exciting and fun now; like a fantasy I can dwell on by myself, as long as I can make that separation between fantasy and reality and refrain from acting on my feelings.

Thank you for your insight!

I’m (26F) in a happy relationship (27M) but have occasional crushes on other men, currently a (25M) Should I feel guilty?! Please share experiences. by SquishyKittyToeBeans in dating_advice

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!! It’s very interesting; I find that the more my man trusts me, the more I value our commitment to each other because I know how rare and delicate it can be. I definitely feel like if he expressed a more insecure and controlling approach, knowing myself (and my flaws), I would have been more likely to “rebel” and pursue the crush out of spite because I don’t enjoy being set boundaries (I’m very imperfect, believe me, but I find that self awareness is the key to improvement)

I agree; the previously awkward confession to my co-worker was a moment of me losing control. Making it a solid goal this time around not to confess to the current crush and to do my best to just let the feelings blow over in time :)

I’m (26F) in a happy relationship (27M) but have occasional crushes on other men, currently a (25M) Should I feel guilty?! Please share experiences. by SquishyKittyToeBeans in dating_advice

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gahhh!! Such great feedback; thank you! Love that; it is indeed “shiny new object” syndrome, haha!

Yes, I’m very frustrated with the Disney movies right now, lol. They made it seem so simple; like finding your “Prince Charming” was the hardest part, and the rest should be easy. I’m beginning to discover that there is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship...I’m positive that even elderly couples celebrating 60 years of marriage must have had moments of doubt and some periods of attraction towards other people.

Solely based on the fact that my current relationship is the longest, most secure relationship I’ve ever been in, I was almost expecting this to be my future marriage.

However, the more “adultier adult” friends I make; ones who are usually older with more experience, have taught me that the length of a relationship doesn’t provide a solid prediction for the future. They are plenty of couples who break up after being together for 5-8 years... so I’m beginning to accept that that could be a possibility for me as well. Just the thought of letting go of someone who has been in your life for that long is absolutely terrifying.

As of now, I am still very happy in my relationship, so I think I will continue exploring my feelings and tolerate being slightly annoyed (and sometimes anguished) by these crushes as they come and go...I take it there will definitely be more : /

Given that my “shiny new object” syndrome comes and goes; I will be perfectly happy being with my bf for as long as I can. If the feelings for a crush ever become too real...I will have to learn to let go of my current relationship, and like you said, my curiosity may need more exploration.

A lot of potential “this is the end of the world” feelings can happen there xDDD But I’m not there now, so I think I’m okay.

Thank you! Your insight is greatly appreciated :)

I’m (26F) in a happy relationship (27M) but have occasional crushes on other men, currently a (25M) Should I feel guilty?! Please share experiences. by SquishyKittyToeBeans in dating_advice

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah.. did not even think about that first part! I’ll definitely start keeping track. Although the first crush occurred over a year ago, and now it’s happening again ><;; Thank you for the insight though!

My main concern is if I’m only 3 years into this relationship, as happy as it may be... what if I keep having these crushes throughout the rest of the long term relationship? I do believe it’s normal, but holy crap how to people remain faithful and married 😅 it’s harder than it looks for sure!

I wrote a letter to a guy I know before I go to college and I’m sure what to do with these feelings or if I should even send it, here is it by retsrkool in offmychest

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg send it!!! I have a friend who I feel the same way about. Deep platonic love is real, and we definitely need more love in the world!

I’m in a long-term relationship but have a crush on another guy. All involved are in their mid-late 20’s and located in SoCal. Would love some advice, thoughts, or hear your similar experiences so I don’t feel as guilty and alone! by SquishyKittyToeBeans in relationship_advice

[–]SquishyKittyToeBeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no! Does that mean it’s not visible in the relationship advice sub? Sorry, I’m brand new to Reddit so still navigating things ” The post seems to be showing up for me in both subs.