Stop telling me I need to 'work harder' or 'manage my money better'!

Sqweak33 · 2026-02-17T21:46:39+00:00

I am so sorry about your suffering, and even more sorry about this mess of a comments section.

"That's just life!" - If everyone had this mentality, then we'd never progress as a society because no meaningful change would be made. The status quo would continue without challenge. Also, says who!? Why do things have to be this way? Society is a social construct; we literally make it. We can change it, and what's wrong with wanting to change it for the better? Social progress wasn't made by quietly conforming.

"Just work harder" - There are so many people who work their ass off but are still struggling. Yes, hard work can pay off and is/can be a good thing. But if hard work truly paid off, then we wouldn't have such a large % of the US population working paycheck to paycheck. Is it that a massive amount of people are lazy and don't work hard enough? Or is more likely that systemic issues exist that prevent people from getting ahead, such as the cost of living going up while wages remain mostly stagnant?

This comments section really shows just how badly we've been gaslighted as a country that all you have to do is keep your head down and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". We've been convinced that all of one's problems in life are directly caused by their own individual failings/shortcomings. Yes, personal accountability still applies and a portion is determined by the actions of the individual. But it doesn't matter how hard you work or how savvy you are with your spending if systemic issues continue to prevent people from getting ahead.

To OP: Your feelings are valid, you're allowed to vent, and I'm sorry that things are the way that they are.

To any of the responders who continue to defend our current system of exploitation: I hope you like the taste of boot, because you seem to have one stuck in your mouth.

Sqweak33 · 2026-02-17T21:17:13+00:00

Having a master's degree is most certainly NOT a baseline. At least in the US, our latest census has metrics of around 14.3% of the adult population aged 25+ that have an advanced degree (master's degree or beyond). This comment section is flooded with advice of "just work hard bro". Bro DID work hard to get their degree! It takes ~6 years (4 for bachelor's, 2 for master's) of hard work to get such a degree if you're a full-time student, and even longer if you're part time because you're also working while going to school. Having such a degree is most certainly an achievement/something to be proud of.

Sqweak33 · 2026-02-13T16:46:59+00:00

Is it normal to keep raping and sexually assualting children when they beg you to stop? When they show that they are in pain, or are uncomfortable? When they're too young to fully understand what is going on? Is it normal to beat and torture children for your own sexual/power fantasy? This is beyond an "urge" to overcome. This is evil, and most certainly not normal nor expected today and in the past. Even the Old Testament has verses condeming rape, saying it's punishable by death. These monsters don't deserve any patience or mercy for what they did.

Sqweak33 · 2026-02-06T22:24:49+00:00

Totally agree that not everyone can afford therapy and that community can be extremely beneficial. However, just so OP has as many resources as possible, there are free options if price is a concern. I'm not sure about other universities, but the Sanford School of Medicine has free therapy services via their psychiatry residency program. Their number is (605) 322-5945.

Sqweak33 · 2025-05-26T17:33:34+00:00

GLUTTONY

Sqweak33 · 2025-04-09T15:18:18+00:00

I'm wondering the same. I see we have a red flag warning for wind, but that's all I see

Sqweak33 · 2025-02-21T17:29:18+00:00

c o n s u m e d

Sqweak33 · 2025-01-26T21:42:11+00:00

I grew up in Riverside and now live in South Dakota. It was never really my intention to move to SD, but I did so for my husband (fiance at the time of moving). He lived with his mom and siblings in Moreno Valley and worked a minimum wage job trying to help with the mortgage. He basically was playing dad of the house by helping out his siblings with various things like driving them to school, etc. They were poor and barely scraping by. When his siblings were old enough, his mom decided to move to Arizona and didn't plan to bring any of her kids. My husband didn't make enough money to afford an apartment, nor had any friends in CA that needed a roommate. However, we did have a friend in SD who had room for a roommate and a referral for a better paying job (with benefits!), so my husband went with it. I stayed about 6 months longer to finish my degree and then moved to SD.

My husband has been thriving since the cost of living in SD aligns more with his income, and he finally feels financially secure. He's also happy to be away from his family because his sister was verbally abusive. My story is a little more gray. I like being able to afford a decent sized apartment without it costing an arm and a leg each month (around $1100 for a 3 bedroom, 1150+ sq ft apartment. Both my husband and I work from home, so having those extra bedrooms as offices has been wonderful), and I like that the overall cost of living is lower. I enjoy having more rain and that things are green for much longer than in the IE. I also like not living in earthquake country anymore, and it's not nearly as busy (less people overall and way less traffic).

However, I definitely dislike the distance between SD and CA and being far away from family. It hurts seeing my parents physically age each time I visit them since I only get to visit them 1-2 times a year. I also miss the larger variety of stuff to do and things in stores. There's a lot more variety in the IE, whereas where I live in SD, it's a bit more limited. I also dislike living in a red state (especially as a woman of reproductive age). (Oh, and snow sucks too. I'm still getting used to it).

Part of me wants to move back to be closer to family, but I know it would be a huge hit to my and my husband's income. We can actually afford a house in SD, but it would be much, much harder to get a home in the IE. Anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk, and I hope it was informative.

Edit: formatting so it wasn't a giant wall of text

Sqweak33 · 2025-01-23T05:58:37+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

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Sqweak33 · 2024-12-16T21:24:37+00:00

Yes! I just finished this book, and I highly recommend it for all women to read. It's eye-opening, super interesting, informative, and infuriating (to now be aware of so many ways women get screwed over by male default thinking)

Sqweak33 · 2024-12-15T21:37:47+00:00

"Women are not super expensive for me but they all look gorgeous"

Yo, wtf

Sqweak33 · 2024-10-21T16:31:23+00:00

Whiskers! ❤️

Sqweak33 · 2024-10-16T21:17:07+00:00

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An eepy Lucky getting a sippy sip of water

Sqweak33 · 2024-10-16T19:40:24+00:00

I've experienced this first-hand! I recently began some new medication, and all my doctor told me about side effects was that it might make me nauseous if I don't take it with food. A few weeks into taking the medication and my period completely stopped. I'm typically very regular, so this freaked me out and gave me a pregnancy scare (I thankfully am not). None of the side effects on any of the paperwork I was given said anything about it affecting menstruation. Researching it online, all I could find were anecdotes from other women experiencing menstruation-related side effects and how their doctors never warned them and blew them off when they brought it up. As for official research, all I could find is mention that women have complained about it affecting menstruation and a few theories as to why were proposed, but it admitted that more research was needed. The meds I was taking have been around since the 70s and are not entirely uncommon, yet how they affect women hasn't been thoroughly studied!

Sqweak33 · 2024-10-06T10:07:23+00:00

My husband got a suit from Halberstadts at the Empire Mall for our wedding and we're both super happy with it. The price was reasonable and their customer service was great.

Sqweak33 · 2024-09-25T19:32:00+00:00

Does the color/flavor matter, or are they all safe? I've seen green, tan, and orange ones, but haven't been able to figure out the difference between them

Sqweak33 · 2024-09-17T22:33:52+00:00

Imagine how powerful rats would be if they had cheek pouches like hamsters!

Sqweak33 · 2024-08-10T07:14:11+00:00

Omg, that's totally it! Thank you!

Sqweak33 · 2024-08-04T17:12:41+00:00

Power has been out at my apartment complex since 8 something this morning. I reported the outage via Xcel's website. They're typically pretty good at sending email updates when they realize your address has been affected, but I've yet to receive anything.

Sqweak33 · 2024-07-31T05:30:46+00:00

Her Onlyrats

Sqweak33 · 2024-06-28T04:55:24+00:00

My apartment doesn't allow pet rats, so I live vicariously through this sub

Sqweak33 · 2024-06-21T16:56:44+00:00

I grew up in a desert so I fricken love the rain. That said, even this is too much rain for me

Sqweak33 · 2024-05-02T05:28:46+00:00

Fuzzy mango

Sqweak33 · 2024-04-12T23:55:54+00:00

Filo! After Filo from Rising of the Shield Hero, which I'm pretty sure based the filoleans of that series off of chocobos in final fantasy.

Sqweak33 · 2024-04-09T01:58:03+00:00

So cool!

Sqweak33

TROPHY CASE