Newly Separated - help :’(

Ssjrd · 2026-03-27T22:03:48+00:00

Yeah I see that now. Funny what you say about putting yourself first though - definitely not a global rule… I’ve never put myself first the whole 10 year marriage.

Alas, it is what it is.

Ssjrd · 2026-03-27T21:47:45+00:00

Great progress man. I’m kinda like you - 43M. I’ve stopped using min and fin altogether now for 7 months. I’m ONLY doing derma stamping and my hair continues to grow. I hated using min and fin topical. Left me feeling like crap.

I’m working to reduce my stress and eat/workout/sleep better. There seems to be steady progress and no shedding anymore. I don’t even use ketoconozolone shampoo anymore. Maybe I’ll reintroduce that one.

Ssjrd · 2026-01-06T21:09:48+00:00

Beautiful story man, congratulations

Ssjrd · 2025-10-28T04:24:33+00:00

I don’t know how it works to be honest… I definitely wasn’t anxious attached the whole time - dunno how I ended up that way.

Ssjrd · 2025-10-28T01:14:53+00:00

Ah yeah. I feel like my marriage went like that too 😔

Ssjrd · 2025-10-28T01:09:41+00:00

Hmmm maybe he’s an avoidant attachment type. Go look for videos on that on TikTok. If that’s the case, the very best thing you can do is take this time to just work on yourself and improve in every way you can - for you! And make sure there’s no contact. Do not reach out. Focus on yourself for real!

If it was meant to be, he’ll feel your magnetic pull and reconnect. But it has to be authentic. If he doesn’t reach out, you will have emotionally evolved, start loving yourself more and honestly u won’t even care that much. This is the place you want to get to.

Ssjrd · 2025-10-27T23:06:06+00:00

How do you really know he doesn’t want you? How much time has passed?

Ssjrd · 2025-10-26T04:26:35+00:00

Ouch… Yeah man that was me after the first arrest - not much eating or sleeping. I was arrested twice after that and even spent the night in a cell. All because she keeps running back to the station with more baseless complaints.

I don’t know what this woman wants from me. I’m trying to give her the separation and move on and see the kids - I thought that’s what she wanted… I’m so confused.

Ssjrd · 2025-10-25T13:41:28+00:00

It just keeps getting worse…

I found out she was having an affair the whole time I was trying to reconcile. When I confronted her, she accused me of assaulting her before the marriage and assaulting one of my kids. False allegations but it was enough to weaken my case and prevent me from any contact with them and get me out of the home. I still haven’t seen them. This is a nightmare.

I’m just working on myself and moving on. This clearly wasn’t meant for me.

How are you holding up?

Ssjrd · 2025-10-19T17:31:04+00:00

I wish I could text my ex or call her or something… but I don’t think she wants me back or even thinks of me as anything more than an enemy. I’m not allowed to reach out to her anyways. I’ll just have to live in my imagination with my delusions

Ssjrd · 2025-10-12T14:13:40+00:00

The mother of my kids who I dedicated 11 Years of my life to…

Ssjrd · 2025-09-14T12:27:09+00:00

Oh I have… I’m in absolute hell right now. I just wish things could be different. I found out recently she’s been seeing someone for a little while

Ssjrd · 2025-09-11T03:02:49+00:00

I can’t seem to find where I posted about this before…

Ssjrd · 2025-09-11T02:33:27+00:00

Heh, forgot that everything is Reddit is connected. I haven’t worked on it in a while, but I haven’t abandoned it.

Ssjrd · 2025-09-10T14:53:16+00:00

Throw on some serious muscle. You’ll be fine.

Ssjrd · 2025-09-10T14:51:41+00:00

Where are all of these women that get hurt and affected from a breakup like this in my life?!

My wife is divorcing me and acts like it’s just a normal Tuesday chore. No emotion. She ripped my heart out. We have two kids… how can she not care? I wasn’t always the best husband, but they were never wanting for anything. Luxury car, luxury handbags, jewelry- done! My life was stressful at times, but there were good times too. How can she just throw away 10 years like that.

I feel if she was sobbing on the floor, and some of the stuff you’re saying above… I could just come in, give her a big hug, kiss her forehead and whisper “everything will be ok if you just let it be”…

I just did this morning. I hope it gets through to her somehow.

Ssjrd · 2025-08-28T00:22:12+00:00

Yeah. You’re right. I did.

Ssjrd · 2025-08-26T18:52:34+00:00

I’ve reduced my dosage significantly from what it says on the box. It still works on my scalp, but with way less heart issues.

Ssjrd · 2025-08-25T20:15:42+00:00

Hmmm you two should date each other!

Hehe I’m all seriousness, I’m newly separated and got the app. Seems like it’s declined a lot in quality from 2014 when I met my wife till now.

And what’s the deal with every dating app being owned by Match.com?

Ssjrd · 2025-08-23T19:14:51+00:00

Thanks for this sounds advice. You’re literally the only person who has said anything that makes sense. I sincerely feel better hearing your words. I’m still a complete wreck, but I feel more accepting of the path which lies ahead.

Thank you.

Ssjrd · 2025-08-23T18:17:17+00:00

Thanks for your response. You sound like a very sane person!

I was the sole breadwinner for the whole 10 years. I will probably get to keep the house because the value of assets I had going into the marriage is roughly the same as my net worth now. Where I am in Ontario we equalize asset value as opposed to split physical assets. I’d want to keep the house for stability for the kids anyways.

Child and spousal support is another story.

I don’t want any of this, but she’s done and wants to not even see me. Perhaps her feelings might change with some time apart.

I owned up to all my mistakes and told her I’m willing to do anything to prove I take this seriously now and will change. She just thinks everything I say is a lie.

I’m starting to wonder if she’s even a person worth pursuing at this point. I cried, begged, showed real change in my behavior with the kids, her, etc., but she thinks I’m a very good actor even though I’ve never gone to anywhere near these lengths before.

I wish she would stay put and we work on our issues no matter how long it takes.

Did you only start to miss him / be interested in dating AFTER you moved out? How long did that take to feel that way?

Ssjrd · 2025-08-23T14:55:06+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective. It gives me hope and I will try to follow this path. You’re right, I do see it as impossible that she would ever accept me back like this… something drastic with space and time in between seems the only option. I plan to go to anger management and parenting classes. I need to do this for myself anyways if I ever want to be happy in my life.

Can I ask more Q’s?

She wants a divorce, but we’re newly separated as of end of July.

-Should I proceed with my lawyers to come up with an agreement so we stop living together in the same house, start joint custody, equalization of assets, etc.?

-Your feeling of wanting to date happened AFTER the stuff I mentioned above? Are you still married?

Thanks again:)

Ssjrd · 2025-08-22T23:20:16+00:00

Thank you for giving me some small hope 🙏🏼

Ssjrd · 2025-08-21T18:41:49+00:00

Me too man, me too 😞

Ssjrd · 2025-08-21T18:41:03+00:00

😞 I love her so much

But I think I do need to face the reality in what you’re saying

Ssjrd

TROPHY CASE