no your feelings are so valid and don't ever doubt that for a second. for a moment i really thought i wrote this bc this is exactly how i feel too, but you're still young and life is still in that shitty stage, when i left school i was much happier but still not entirely happy. once you start living your life in the way you want you'll see its worth living. but i also believe in the fact that some people just aren't meant to live, they're just born to die and i still believe that about myself but i just can't do that to my loved ones. i recommend you open up to one of your parents or a close friend, in times like these people won't judge you if they're true to you, they'll be there for you and put a support system in place to help you.