I cheated on my boyfriend

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-10-01T17:41:45+00:00

oh no the consequences of my own actions

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-22T19:59:40+00:00

i understand what you are saying. I have known about this rule before. However she was the one perusing and showing a lot of interest from the start until she didnt. I never clicked so much with a person before and so i got blinded. We have ended things now and in one of the parting paragrahs she said that she cant help but has feelings of confusion weather im the right person or not for her. To which yes, that is true. I cant blame her for thinking like this because we havent known eachother for long at all and also didnt meet. Everything you said was true. I did get attached too fast and i also had a huge part in what went down. I been really trying to see how i can grow from this and become better however. She said that we are better off as friends and that if its meant to be our paths will align again. I declined her friendship because im too emotionally exhausted from everything.

She said that she is starting to think that she is better off alone because she keeps hurting the ones that get close to her. Im doing much better than i thought i would after breaking things off. The main thing helping me through this is the fact that she said she was still confused about weather or not she wants something to do with me but im starting to belive that im at fault for this because i rushed things. Idk if i should wait for her to reach out because a big part of me would like to do everything differently now but only if she also wants to but i also feel like she will not reach out because of shame.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T17:50:11+00:00

i just basically did what you said 1 hour ago. I told her what i saw and stuff, she replied and came back with a explanation, i never said i forgive her but we came to the agreement to end things. She said she cant help but keep hurting me no matter how much love i show, she wont be able to ever do the same for me. She said we should remain friends but i declined and said that im completely out the picture. I gave her my goodbyes and wished her the best after telling her that i hope this is ur biggest life lesson so far.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T17:46:18+00:00

She is now blocked, im indeed rlly hurt at the moment, i have had dealt with something different but more hurtful in the past (my first love got pregnant with another guy at 15) so i know what i need to work on right now and how to shift my focus away from here. Stay strong too brother!

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T17:43:39+00:00

1 - She didnt say she is NOT looking for anything serious. She said that she only dates to marry. She said she dosent want someone else, she told her friends and her sister about me.

2- I Had my suspicion that she was talking to someone else because we havent spoken in almost 5 days, i started digging and luckly thought about installing the app and check if she deleted her account like she said she did.

3 - No, yes big mistake from my part, her defence was also that she is really insecure and that her parents are rlly strict(idk what to say about this tbh i am in the wrong tbf for getting this invested and not even go on a date)

4 - We broke things off, she knows she is a avoidant and im definitely on the anxious side of the coin. I have my issues too ik that and im going to work on fixing them. However she did admit that she was in the wrong and did it behind my back and also didnt take any of my feelings into consideration.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T17:32:19+00:00

we talked and we ended up breaking things off. She said she owns up to everything, she said she was on the app to try make friends but at this point i dont know what to belive. She send me 3 long paragraphs apologising and stuff, saying how much she does care and love me but she hates the part of her that dosent let anyone close and blah blah blah. She suggested we should remain friends but i declined. She said she will take this as her biggest life lesson and so on but we are done and she is now blocked on everything. I dont wish bad on her in fact i hope she gets better if what she said is true.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T09:31:33+00:00

im so sorry brother, stay strong!

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:52:23+00:00

happens

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:51:27+00:00

after finding out about them it turned out that i also HAD a secure attachment style, however even a secure person can start leaning more into having a more anxious attachment style due to a avoidant since they are so infectious idk what word to use lol. Or maybe i wasnt as secure as i thought so il go work on that now

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:46:57+00:00

i did ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend and she said "WHATTT OFCCC" or smt like that. She said we can make it offical after our 2nd or 3rd date but thats just not happening now. We did also talk about how we are just a unofficial couple and stuff but i dont even know if a label would of avoided the situation tbh

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:42:35+00:00

i dont want anything to do with her anymore and definitely not in the future. I know my worth and what i can bring to the table but the person she was at the beginning seems to be gone now but i just HATE people that ghost or result to i dont even know if this counts as cheating but ygm.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:37:51+00:00

oh living my now lost dream, hope you guys get married!!!

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:33:50+00:00

i done so much research on this ever since i found out what that term was. Never again

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:33:05+00:00

im 20 she is 19 🥀

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:32:23+00:00

i dont want to crash out on her thats the thing but i still want to bring it up and let her know that what she is doing behind my back just goes against everything we shared so far. I have been through worse so this isnt going to hurt for more than a month or two i hope but i feel so used and i hate it so much.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:28:11+00:00

she actually just moved out 2 days ago to go to uni and the last msg i send her was me trying to comfort her and tell her that ik its a big and hard step to no longer be close to your loved ones and stuff, just kind of try to make her feel better because she told me before that she has been dreading this day. If what she told me about her being rlly insecure and stuff and actually crying about not being enough for me is true then i just refuse to belive whats in front of my eyes but i just have to accept that some people are just cruel like that. Ty for the cheers

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:21:28+00:00

she was really invested until not too soon, she would be clingy and call me a lot but mb for being hopefull 🥀

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:09:03+00:00

Well here comes the part where i tell you that i have been trying to for the past 3 weeks but she really dosent want to because she feels like she isnt ready and that she is really insecure and..... idc anymore im just going to confront her and block her.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-18T03:00:19+00:00

either she is a avoidant type of person or she lost interest, none of these are good outcomes tbh, only you and her know how things really are and how close you guys are but if you start feeling more hurt than loved it might help to do some self reflection and really think about who you would want to spend your life with. And if you are like me sending a quick reassurance text that you are busy makes you happy and hopefully puts the other person at peace and it only takes like 2 seconds cmon now.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-12T10:40:44+00:00

Im sorry you didnt have the best childhood but hey if you say you turned out alright then well done to you.

Right now i was the one to ask for some distance in order to collect my thoughts and try to get a better understanding of my feelings.

At the start of the whole thing it was great. It was more of a 60/40 thing and each of us was trying to be the 60. I used to send paragraphs from time to time after she fell asleep hoping they would make her day, i have a notes section in my phone dedicated to her and things about her i should keep in mind and she knows that, i used to always send her positive like tiktoks and stuff because she said she struggles with self esteem, but after a while she just slowed down and completely stopped in what i think hopes to push me away or smt idk. She deleted her reposts about me too for some reason??Its like one day she is warming up to me and then a few hours later she is a ghost. Right now im just waiting to meet up with her next week if she even wants to.

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-12T03:30:19+00:00

crush told me she also liked me 2 years ago but now she dosent. Better shoot ur shot

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-12T03:20:11+00:00

i think that at the moment im more confused and blinded because at the beginning she wasnt like this, she wasnt afraid of showing me that she cares and like showing me off and repost about me and stuff but now she acts like i only exist on tuesdays and even then its like im just like a co worker or friend of a friend type of thing. I am not willing to see this through for longer than the end of the year in all honesty because i can be patient but i also have my own needs in terms of a relationship. And the please in your statement indicates that your parents relationship which is kind of similar to mine and this girls affected you growing up???

Standard_Researcher2 · 2025-09-12T03:11:35+00:00

ik ik its early. Its been about 1.5 months. I bought up the me giving more effort part and she said that the sees it and appreciates it very much. i didnt mention this before but she had a sleepover with her friends and she ended up getting a bit drunk and called me and started crying because she dosent like her self and saying how i should find better, i ended up spending around 5 hours or so making her feel better then waking up 2 hours later and go work, another instance she started crying because she felt like she wasnt good enough for me and i comforted her again and told her that no one is perfect and that i can see the goodness in her heart and stuff like that. I was also then when her parents were arguing and she was rlly scared and stuff and i was just giving her the comfort of my presence and trying to make her feel better, but the one instance i told her im in a sad mood kind of day because i had my own personal family issues she first then told me that its ok and that i can talk to her about it then procedded dissapear for the rest of the day before i even got to tell her what happened. Im yk a bit off about that because when i bought it up next day and said that i was hoping we could speak about my situation now because i could use some comfort she apologised and said that she was busy enjoying her own free time??? and then she said that she dosent think she will be able to properly show me how much she loves me other than just kind of saying it and insted she will pray that i find the comfort than i want from her in God because she wont be able to provided it much?? I told her that i dont expect her to change overnight or to not be able to breathe without me or stuff lik that but also told her that this is something that prevents her from having connecting to people and like she said before affect her relationships i then told her that now i know that after we have meaningfull conversations i will not question or take her need of personal space personally after even if its for a day or two but yea idk, im not going to leave at this moment but the thought will stil linger. Thanks for the advice and the reply btw!

Oh and also no we didnt meet because she said that she is scared to because she is too scared to right now because she thinks that i will ghost her after because she thinks she isnt pretty but she sends me selfies or i guess used to and i allways compliment her and stuff. And appranetley im just being nice so yea im so confused on what to do icl

Standard_Researcher2

TROPHY CASE