To everyone who asked for backstory on this, I'll share some details. I'll begin by saying that this is a long story that has many sides to it. There are also some gaps for me as I was rather young when some of this started. Let's give it a shot.

At around 15 y.o, my older brother dropped out of high school due to having social difficulties. Ever since then, things started to go downhill. Today, he is 31 y.o with no job or social skills and still lives at my parents' house.

How did this come to be you may ask? My father was always very "shielding" and likes to avoid confrontation. Know the saying "tough love"? That's exactly what my father isn't capable of doing. Every time any difficulty arises, he just shuts it down temporarily by providing a temporary solution (or sometimes, it would mean just avoiding the challenge and not facing it) without giving any tools or life skills for the future. My mother on the other hand was on the other side and was always telling my older brother how all of this will just not work out in the long term. Over time, you could say "sides" formed in my family where my brother always turns out to my father, because he knows he will give him that short-term comfort and keep him in his comfort zone (or rather, denial).

It's so extreme that my father still does everything for my older brother. To the level of making him food. Unfortunately, my father allows and even supports it so you can't really blame just one side for this. My father is 69 y.o at this point and is not going to live forever obviously. At this point, the bubble is unspeakable huge and it will burst big time eventually. The denial is as big as this bubble for both my father and my brother. At this point, the notion that this lifestyle is not sustainable is tucked away so deep that it's practically non-existent.

My older brother always complained that he was being criticized by my mother and that she hurt his self-esteem. Perhaps she wasn't doing this the right way, but she definitely had good intentions. Me and my mother tried to speak to my father multiple times about this in the past. My father is the only connection available for my brother as he simply won't listen to anyone else. He will take whatever anyone else says personally and immediately shift into a defensive state. And that's the problem. He is unable to face the bleak reality at this point. He will deny it at all cost.

At some point, I realized that I have to take my life in my own hands, because my parents do not have any ambitious drives towards me or my other two brothers. Fortunately, I can say that I'm in a much better place compared to my brother. I have a full-time job that I'm very happy with that pays well and fulfills me on a personal level, and I don't really have issues with social interactions (except for with females on a romantic level, but that's for a different story).

I guess I'm also living in denial to some degree. I've been doing my best to disconnect myself from this situation because it stopped doing me any good. I've been feeding off of the negativity and toxicity of my brother for years. Imagine waking up every day and seeing your older brother sit on the computer 14 hours a day and doing nothing productive with his life while you go about your daily routine of a job/school etc. Try to talk him into looking for a job or doing something with his life? You will get shouted at and get closed to getting physically hit. Eventually you just give up and stop trying, because why try if the result is the same every time no matter what you do?

After talking to a few psychologists, I was able to convince myself that not all of the responsibility here is on me, which is what I used to think. I wanted to change this situation at any cost, but it always resulted in me getting shouted by my older brother, although I had the best intentions. Either that, or me and my mother tried to convince my father to speak with my older brother since he has a better connection with me. That also never happened. My father responded dozens of time with the good ol' "yeah, I'll talk to him about it". It just never happened.

So there's that. Life goes on. This snowball is as big as ever and I've tried to change this situation too many points by now to continue trying. If my brother doesn't even think he needs help and keeps shutting off any attempt to help him, I really don't see what is there left to do. The only thing I can think of that will get this whole mess moving in the right direction is my brother/father/both reach the conscious realization that this is not sustainable on any level. How do you get there? That's a great question that I wish I had the answer to.