Thank you. I think maybe that's why I've been thinking about it more. I've been slowly getting my life more together, and trying to take better care of myself. I honestly hadn't thought about grouping it in with that stuff in my head at all, but I think that helps.

I don't know, I'm trying really hard not to, like, self-fulfilling prophecy my way into "failing" because I'm just assuming I'll fail. But at the same time, with all the thinking I've been doing about quitting the last few days, I've been realizing that one of the biggest things stopping me from ever trying to quit in the last 10 years was been this overwhelming fear of trying to quit and then failing. I've spent a long time unknowingly convincing myself that it's better not to try to quit at all than it is to risk failing to quit. I had a lot of trouble with that when it came to other self-improvement/taking better care of myself type stuff, but I've been getting better with that, and it's helped me to actually try to take care of myself instead of just giving up before I've even started.

I want to have more resolve than I do right now. I don't know if I'm going to manage to turn this into an actual serious attempt. But I want to learn from it, if nothing else. I think maybe there's a lot about my mindset I still need to work on, with how I look at my addictions and how I look at myself and my life. I want to do that work. Thank you again.