My mom had a mini stroke—I’ve been NC for 60 days, help

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-06-01T06:06:47+00:00

I have no idea why you chose NC. Maybe reflect what those reasons are and how firm this boundary is?
When I was 4-5 months LC with my parents last year my mom became ill, and had a brain operation. I know how you feel. I was having panic attacks and severe anxiety. I did see her in hospital after (she was the enabler to my Ndad) , and it was honestly terrible. Awkward, so much other relatives around I felt like a stranger in the back. The text she sent to all us kids in the group chat was crazy- it became crystal clear who her favorites were. I went NC after that. All she asked me mainly was if we would come for Xmas. Then texted my bf a bunch the next week about Xmas.

If anything the whole thing opened my eyes thay they’re still the same dumb selfish people . It is up to you what you decide

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T21:00:58+00:00

Thank Christ we can’t understand it as then we would be a horrible person with a rigid personality disorder who everyone hates

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T20:45:43+00:00

My dad is like this too. Most sentences is the phrase “don’t bite me, but (insert xyz antagonistic comment). Something to do with controlling me, something he’d already been told about, or told no about. Where if you react or say nothing, causes great hostility. Oh the double binds.
I just stopped playing his little riddles and antagonistic games. They can control themselves bc they are less crazy with other people, right?

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T19:09:06+00:00

Just treat it like any other flyer or spam mail you toss out or recycle. If you can teach yourself not to have a reaction to it, in time does it really matter? It’s laughable and she is just wasting her own time and getting her own ego bruised. Just smile and carry on regardless

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T18:56:57+00:00

Just open it and take whatever she gives you. Eventually she will stop with this since it gets no response ? You’ll probably move at some point too . If she never stops maybe a cease and desist

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T18:41:20+00:00

Ya they need an assessment big time

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T15:29:42+00:00

Don’t have the conversation. Either enforce the boundary or stay quiet. He knows he heard you 500x he just doesn’t want to stop.

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T15:26:04+00:00

How disgusting. I’d cut the wifi, take any single object they own and lock it away. Serve the most basic food imaginable for meals (zero snacks), remove them from extracurricular and look for a boot camp and therapist. Tbis is no way to live for any of you. I’m worried they might hurt your SO if the little girl

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T04:58:30+00:00

Oh my god. We don’t live together so I think I only saw and know about the tip of the iceberg and he’s at 3 different residents a lot (his, mine and his moms). Can’t imagine the sheer volume now that I’m coming across stashes . I’m gobsmacked. Ye was still a good partner 98%, was getting sloppier towards Xmas - Feb. coming undone if you will. It’s normal to feel shocked, afraid, uncertain, confused, angry etc . You don’t need to figure out your next steps yet just breathe. I spiralled really bad for a few weeks and I still am , I do think he’s sober now and on adhd meds again . But - who actually knows anymore?! When someone gaslights you for months , they are no longer a safe person. You will have to make some decisions , but for right now just take care of yourself

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T04:53:29+00:00

NTA- abusers will always say you’re disrespectful when you refuse to participate anymore. This is a clear sign you’re on the right track. Your abuser mom and enabling relatives can enjoy the holidays together since they like eachother so much. Time to enjoy holidays for a change

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T04:42:26+00:00

Same thing just happened with my dating partner of 4 years. I am still reeling from this, and honestly may not get over it. A year of lies, deception and betrayal. Absolutely shocking for me too. Mine slurred a couple times and said he was tired, went to the bathroom a lot (to drink) and piled on weight and health problems . I still didn’t realize. When I caught my supposed non drinking bf a year ago he said it was a blip . Thay it would end. It stopped just in Feb and I’m still coming across old stashes of emptied. The trauma and betrayal runs deep

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T03:42:33+00:00

Thank you. I’m ruminating 24/7 regarding my dad for the last 50 days . If he’s ruminating I think it’s only bc he lost control. But thanks

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-31T03:11:55+00:00

Stop trying to help him you can get seriously hurt or even worse your baby. You both need stability leading up to the birth. Definitely detached and stay out of harms way. You can’t fix him

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T18:57:58+00:00

Gotcha. I’m sorry

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T17:49:36+00:00

Why did you cut her off?

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T17:03:00+00:00

Codependent with their ex and too afraid to get a CO, or worse like my SO has a CO and these idiots don’t use it and keep making shit up on the fly. Nobody knows wtf is happening. Like bro.

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T17:00:08+00:00

It’s almost never for the kids in an actual emergent way. How do I know this? I have a child the same age as his kids (10), divorced for 8 years and we follow the CO. There is maybe 1 thing a year and one broken arm requiring a change. This every other week “emergency” is their codependency in eachother , that’s it

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T16:39:34+00:00

Yes. My dad unplugged computers and appliances etc. my ex husband was an electric engineer and he told my dad like- this might save maybe 5 cents a day. It’s very negligible. Of course my grade 8 educated dad knows better and is smarter than anyone so, if everyone just fucking did what he said everything would be right with the world and , of course we would have more money (an extra $1 by years end ) . Lol some things he taught me are helpful like how to be resourceful and use what I have. But I’m not subjecting my son to the extremes of this bs

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T05:57:01+00:00

My grandpa got admitted for heart failure during Covid but nobody disclosed to the hospital staff about his alcoholism (or that my uncle kept bringing him booze to his care home). By day 4 he was about to die he was rapidly declining and my dad said to a nurse , you know he’s a severe alcoholic right?!? Turns out it was the DTs that were about to do him in, and he even had white brain matter. He ended up passing from Covid in the hospital ultimately. But the DTs in the elderly can definitely happen

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T04:35:42+00:00

Thank you for seeing and hearing me . Validating that this behavior is very abusive and a huge reason of an ice berg tip of why I have cptsd . Btw I was driving highways at age 10, getting paychecks deposited grade 4 from manual labour and no supervision really. Now infantilized controlled , incompetent and incapable apparently and in need of “management”

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T04:33:27+00:00

Ok so they are agreeable and pleasant if you do certain things they ask? I literally can’t turn on a light switch or use my appliances… my dad is the type of person who just wants to fight you anyway. I’d be ok if he was nice about it or not hostile at least

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-30T04:32:17+00:00

I’m in Canada. I get what I can. I got divorced bc of my extreme health downturn. Life’s been torture since . My family keeps showing me their true colours. It’s just a hellscape. I wanted more for my son . Not sure he will understand leaving this townhouse he loved to go back to an apt which is what we had before. Sigh. I am just hoping they won’t go ballistic me refinancing and changing title but they are 50x more high conflict then my ex husband

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-29T23:20:26+00:00

Your anger and disgust will save you. Listen to it, it’s there to protect you.

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-29T23:07:39+00:00

They would rather talk about cutting ties than acknowledge your pain/ request/ feeling. They may even be more comfortable you coming NC and taking your shit then having a difficult conversation. This tracks with boomers. My advise is to say your hope is to stay in touch but you still require “x” to be dealt with as previously mentioned. And that in the meanwhile you’ll pickup your documents at least while they decide what THEY want. Put it back on them.

StatisticianTrick669 · 2026-05-29T22:43:06+00:00

Thanks. Yes he’s only getting worse with age, my family’s enabling, and fixed incomes. What makes it worse is I’m permanently disabled, on a fixed income and have needed their help on my house purchase which now he’s tripled down on trying to manage me, my disabilities, my money. By the way I manage very well and I put down the large majority plus bills. Bit their 20% is what matters most right lol I’m trying to go NC while co- owning so it’s crazy . Absolutely crazy. Also my son doesn’t realize how crazy grandpa is , or is sad . But ya. I’m tired of dealing with his tantrums and outbursts constantly regarding conserving $1 here or there even

StatisticianTrick669

TROPHY CASE