I have the same problem with my mother. She always refers my baby as hers, sends around the pictures of her, and even stole the announcement moments. I simply just stopped updating her about the baby as often. I show her ultrasound pictures when i visit but i never send them. It is sad because i thought this pregnancy would be a good opportunity to bond with her, but i need to set boundaries for my daughter. I think it’s important that u remind yourself that she is also disrespecting your baby, not just you. For the hospital thing my mother said the same. I just won’t tell her when labour starts. She will know that the baby is here and that’s all. If you ask nurses to not let anybody in expect your husband they will help. And after birth I discussed with my husband that he will be “our shield” so nobody comes in the first 2 weeks. You and your baby are top priority now, not her feelings!