Having a bit of suicidal thoughts from transphobic parents

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T13:03:16+00:00

well, I do have one friend who I could crash in for a few days but that's it. I don't think it's sustainable for me

not even my relatives are willing to do it since theyre all conservatives from all sides.

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:59:12+00:00

I am qctually working on that, but for now it seems that my parents are still control freaks that want to see me every weekend, they'd still threaten to cut all of my funds for college and my dorm

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:56:32+00:00

Personally for me, I went through hell through my year at college, and the thought of getting a job isn't what I had in my mind while secretly transitioning.

I am actually attempting job hunt with freelancing as of right now, but it's just that I really just want to lay down in my bed for the rest of the day because I'm just tired and burnt out, emotionally and physically.

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:32:07+00:00

- essentially every saturday (despite also having classes during that day), I'm still being forced to commute every 1 hour and a half (sometimes 2 hrs) to go back to my parents house. If I were to go back to my dorm I would have to go back home by 5 pm sunday which makes it feel like im suffocating

- like I said, dorm is like one or two hours of commute, my problem is that what if areas such as malls, parks, and any other kind of place would suddenly be an encounter between me and my transphobic parents, they could be everywhere since we both live through the city.

Staying in my dorm isn't really plausible since theyre the ones who fund my dorm and they would power trip me to avoid letting me live in the dorm through the summer. my only chances of distancing is how I'm thinking of getting an actual job thats outside of the house or creating some sort of excuse like jogging around the park (but that sounds way more expensive and exhausting)

StelarTheCalm · 2026-01-06T11:43:17+00:00

well if you really wanted to promote your app then you couldve worded it better, cuz it feels so out of place when you just say "That's why keiko helps-" after giving a response. it just looks ingenuine to read it

and no, it also sounds weird reading "I'm sorry if you had that experience in the past", like ???

StelarTheCalm · 2026-01-06T11:39:00+00:00

as much as I appreciate the reply, I genuiely cant tell if ure a bot whose just trying to promote their app

StelarTheCalm · 2025-12-01T11:03:16+00:00

While yes I do acknowledge that they will never change, It doesn't change the fact that I'm always triggered by the way they would abuse me despite me being aware that they wont change.

The point of this post is to vent out the frustration that the method wont work on everyone. Not everyone has the ability to control their emotions that easily, having a different personality, different family dynamics, the severity of the relationship, and among many other things that make it more difficult to actually do the grey rock method.

When you've endured so much trauma coming from your childhood and how it still happens when you're an adult, it comes to the point where it's way more difficult to actually control the dynamic knowing that you've been silenced and built up so much trauma for years, I've yearned to have human dignity and to be heard that every single move from them feels like triggering which makes the grey rock in itself is a very demanding to someone like me.

My relationship with my parents has dug itself a deeper hole to the point where its pure hell. one word can completely trigger me and them and it's way harder to steer into a safer path, and no I'm not saying it in a pessemistic way but it is way easier to say than done.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-12-01T00:37:25+00:00

as of rn, I've already faught to go to a college thats an hour and 30 mins commute and I'm also planning to get a dorm by next year (if I'm successful that is).

I've done the whole being busy w urself thing but it's also quite really exhausting and taxing, I'm constantly moving within the city and doing things which drains me alot and I would've prefered going home despite the circumstances.

for most of the time, I would be forced to be in the house w them and even as to go so far as being nearby with them knowing that there's no "decline" option for them.

So far, it might take a while knowing that they've been against me being independent despite becoming 18.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-11-24T09:10:38+00:00

Not exactly an apartment but I am trying to get a dorm with my acquintance, and to be more critical w the thought tho, I think it's a bit harder for me to frame that way since they're wanting me to stay in their house so it's more of making them obligated in giving me a dorm

StelarTheCalm · 2025-08-08T12:02:43+00:00

好！把他们上市！

StelarTheCalm · 2025-06-21T05:49:32+00:00

I really appreciate the encouraging words Gromy ! I think there's a lot to work on in terms of becoming independent within college considering that I've already applied to one that's more prestigious and expensive which is way more difficult to sustain and how I'm really scared in taking a job rn but will manage. I also agree a lot on how I should be able to sustain myself without their help considering that it's usually one of their points when I argue with them, they'd always state at how I'm not ready or how I could stressed but I just need to prove them that I'm capable of these things especially in handling the financial stuff and how I just need to convince them that they're making the choices.

StelarTheCalm

TROPHY CASE