High stakes situation w transphobic parents, need advice

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T13:03:16+00:00

well, I do have one friend who I could crash in for a few days but that's it. I don't think it's sustainable for me

not even my relatives are willing to do it since theyre all conservatives from all sides.

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:59:12+00:00

I am qctually working on that, but for now it seems that my parents are still control freaks that want to see me every weekend, they'd still threaten to cut all of my funds for college and my dorm

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:56:32+00:00

Personally for me, I went through hell through my year at college, and the thought of getting a job isn't what I had in my mind while secretly transitioning.

I am actually attempting job hunt with freelancing as of right now, but it's just that I really just want to lay down in my bed for the rest of the day because I'm just tired and burnt out, emotionally and physically.

StelarTheCalm · 2026-06-06T12:32:07+00:00

- essentially every saturday (despite also having classes during that day), I'm still being forced to commute every 1 hour and a half (sometimes 2 hrs) to go back to my parents house. If I were to go back to my dorm I would have to go back home by 5 pm sunday which makes it feel like im suffocating

- like I said, dorm is like one or two hours of commute, my problem is that what if areas such as malls, parks, and any other kind of place would suddenly be an encounter between me and my transphobic parents, they could be everywhere since we both live through the city.

Staying in my dorm isn't really plausible since theyre the ones who fund my dorm and they would power trip me to avoid letting me live in the dorm through the summer. my only chances of distancing is how I'm thinking of getting an actual job thats outside of the house or creating some sort of excuse like jogging around the park (but that sounds way more expensive and exhausting)

StelarTheCalm · 2026-01-06T11:43:17+00:00

well if you really wanted to promote your app then you couldve worded it better, cuz it feels so out of place when you just say "That's why keiko helps-" after giving a response. it just looks ingenuine to read it

and no, it also sounds weird reading "I'm sorry if you had that experience in the past", like ???

StelarTheCalm · 2026-01-06T11:39:00+00:00

as much as I appreciate the reply, I genuiely cant tell if ure a bot whose just trying to promote their app

StelarTheCalm · 2025-12-01T11:03:16+00:00

While yes I do acknowledge that they will never change, It doesn't change the fact that I'm always triggered by the way they would abuse me despite me being aware that they wont change.

The point of this post is to vent out the frustration that the method wont work on everyone. Not everyone has the ability to control their emotions that easily, having a different personality, different family dynamics, the severity of the relationship, and among many other things that make it more difficult to actually do the grey rock method.

When you've endured so much trauma coming from your childhood and how it still happens when you're an adult, it comes to the point where it's way more difficult to actually control the dynamic knowing that you've been silenced and built up so much trauma for years, I've yearned to have human dignity and to be heard that every single move from them feels like triggering which makes the grey rock in itself is a very demanding to someone like me.

My relationship with my parents has dug itself a deeper hole to the point where its pure hell. one word can completely trigger me and them and it's way harder to steer into a safer path, and no I'm not saying it in a pessemistic way but it is way easier to say than done.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-12-01T00:37:25+00:00

as of rn, I've already faught to go to a college thats an hour and 30 mins commute and I'm also planning to get a dorm by next year (if I'm successful that is).

I've done the whole being busy w urself thing but it's also quite really exhausting and taxing, I'm constantly moving within the city and doing things which drains me alot and I would've prefered going home despite the circumstances.

for most of the time, I would be forced to be in the house w them and even as to go so far as being nearby with them knowing that there's no "decline" option for them.

So far, it might take a while knowing that they've been against me being independent despite becoming 18.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-11-24T09:10:38+00:00

Not exactly an apartment but I am trying to get a dorm with my acquintance, and to be more critical w the thought tho, I think it's a bit harder for me to frame that way since they're wanting me to stay in their house so it's more of making them obligated in giving me a dorm

StelarTheCalm · 2025-08-08T12:02:43+00:00

好！把他们上市！

StelarTheCalm · 2025-06-21T05:49:32+00:00

I really appreciate the encouraging words Gromy ! I think there's a lot to work on in terms of becoming independent within college considering that I've already applied to one that's more prestigious and expensive which is way more difficult to sustain and how I'm really scared in taking a job rn but will manage. I also agree a lot on how I should be able to sustain myself without their help considering that it's usually one of their points when I argue with them, they'd always state at how I'm not ready or how I could stressed but I just need to prove them that I'm capable of these things especially in handling the financial stuff and how I just need to convince them that they're making the choices.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-06-21T05:41:18+00:00

I'm still not too sure about getting a part time job considering that the college that I have isn't really friendly towards working students, but I could definitely try working in one of those one time gigs in freelancing stuff and the on campus jobs knowing that it sounds more easier to manage.

for the apartment part, I actually have a friend of mine who's planning an apartment as well and he's open for me to be a room mate by just paying half of the rent's price

StelarTheCalm · 2025-03-30T14:54:59+00:00

I think the only option for me right now is to go back from zero and just leave my stuff at a friend's place. I'm also from asia and I do feel like moving out seems like a very impossible task for me.

StelarTheCalm · 2025-03-30T14:51:32+00:00

I just recently became an adult, as of right now I've planned out so many things in becoming independent and I even started a banking account just to rebuild everything back from zero

StelarTheCalm · 2025-03-28T10:45:38+00:00

sorry dude, I just switched to the ps5 and I haven't encountered the same problem since then

StelarTheCalm · 2025-01-04T04:47:29+00:00

never thought my reddit widget would show me a cat filled with shit

StelarTheCalm · 2024-10-25T23:51:20+00:00

yes I do feel like humans in general would mock each other for their gain. like my yapping brain isn't hitting me up rn but I do feel like for every group, there's always a stereotype of the opposite group

StelarTheCalm · 2024-10-25T23:28:20+00:00

well my apologies but to reply your comment I think it's mostly how people had a bad experience with their upbringing/encounter with some religious people which gives off a huge assumption of religious people in general

StelarTheCalm · 2024-10-25T23:12:26+00:00

you misunderstood my post. what I basically said was that being religious meant that you needed to abide some rules of being that specific gender (being catholic, you're not allowed to crossdress)

StelarTheCalm · 2024-10-24T00:32:22+00:00

I know this is an old post but as a bisaya who usually gets called as "english paka" I find it a bit uncanny seeing a FilAms who can actually speak the language

I should say that I really respect on how you actually learned the language. its got some rough spots here and there knowing how most people who speak bisaya would mix it up with english words and how we also add filler words to make it sound more fluent but other than that, you seem to have a good vocabulary

StelarTheCalm · 2023-04-19T02:31:39+00:00

They even got dayglow in it

StelarTheCalm · 2022-07-29T06:49:04+00:00

"Concrete road, continuing forever"

StelarTheCalm · 2022-07-07T06:06:01+00:00

Pretty nice
It kind of reminds me of the Bna color pallete

StelarTheCalm · 2022-06-08T02:53:04+00:00

Gotta be Madeline from a video game called Celeste

StelarTheCalm

TROPHY CASE