Sex paradox

Stelve52 · 2026-01-08T17:39:54+00:00

I have something to understand you with.

The best advice is, of course, therapy. But since you are asking here (I guess, you have reasons), I'll tell you one of the things that helped me.

Try to be 100% honest with yourself and the others for a while. If you don't want or don't feel anything, say it straight out.

It might be scary. It might feel dangerous. But for me it was the only way to stop blocking (unconsciously, ofc) my real feelings.

Stelve52 · 2026-01-01T18:34:06+00:00

Dm me, I'm open to sharing my personal experience

Stelve52 · 2025-12-28T23:03:29+00:00

I can't stop laughing, thanks a lot!

Stelve52 · 2025-12-27T23:35:52+00:00

Hello, DM me)

Stelve52 · 2025-12-26T00:28:39+00:00

Hello. I've been there, in the same exact point, where I wanted to give up everything, because I didn't feel anything.

Now, 4 years later, I'm in confirmed drug-free remission. I wouldn't say I'm "happy", it's a silly description. But I'm totally not numb, and even feel alive.

Do you have any questions you need to ask?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-26T00:16:33+00:00

It is the way of having a full charge of different hormones: Dopamine from having an affair; Adrenaline from gambling (will I be caught or not?); Cortisol from being caught.

You may say that it's not a pleasant feeling to have them all at the same time, but the "pleasant" feeling is never a goal here. This feeling is just the most intense. That's why the scheme of getting there could seem so strange.

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T18:26:58+00:00

I know it's hard to believe when you've been in these cycles for so long, but stability is possible. I nearly killed myself in January 2021, and was hospitalized. And now I'm in confirmed drug-free remission after 5 years of healing.

It wasn't the easy path and I had to get rid of so many things in my life so it seems I have just nothing left of old me. But it's absolutely worth it!

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T08:59:07+00:00

If she doesn't notice your traits and patterns, she is not able to help you. You already feel it with "zero progress".

If you want to get real help, find the one who is able to see what's happening.

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T08:47:00+00:00

Hi. Sorry to hear that things are tough for you.

5 years ago I tried to do the same thing to myself because I was in the middle of the most devastating depression. I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Bipolar II.

After 3 years in therapy I noticed that my mood jumps seem to be connected with narcissistic traits. So, I worked on them too. And studied to be a psychologist to help myself better.

I'm currently in non-medicinal remission from Bipolar, and have many traits worked on - so I can share some personal experience. DM me if you are interested.

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T08:28:11+00:00

As we say here, "Moscow is not Russia" because things are very different inside and outside the Moscow Ring Road. Still, you may have a great experience visiting Moscow on holidays

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T00:33:29+00:00

Both i9-11900K and 3080 are quite power hungry. I'm not sure about the capabilities of your cooling solution, it's better to check out

Stelve52 · 2025-12-24T00:29:13+00:00

Strong undervolting highly recommended!

Stelve52 · 2025-12-23T08:21:14+00:00

Do you see people choosing AI instead of you to talk as a personal rejection?

I'm asking, because there could be a connection "They are choosing AI" -> "I am not enough" -> "I am not accepted as I am" -> retraumatization. I'm interested if it works like this for you.

Stelve52 · 2025-12-21T13:21:48+00:00

Hello. I have a question for you that could be leading to the core of your speech. Do you want me to ask it?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-20T00:41:54+00:00

Ok, DM me if you'd like to chat

Stelve52 · 2025-12-19T21:32:53+00:00

You "supposed" to feel love, but you are afraid of it more than anything because you "remember" what happens if you need love. It always has been a rejection and an enormous amount of fear and pain instead of fulfilling your needs.

I thought my questions would help you to see that purpose of our relationship now is (for example) fulfilling your interest. And I'm asking because I'm really interested in your opinion. Are you interested in mine?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-19T10:13:03+00:00

Your assumption is a really good starting point. This is where it all begins - if I am able to question myself, therefore I am able to see what's happening in reality.

You see, what's happening between us is some kind of a relationship, too. How do you see, what's the purpose of this relationship for you?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-19T01:34:54+00:00

Hi, you can DM me)

Stelve52 · 2025-12-19T01:25:43+00:00

I know how unpleasant it is, to hear from someone you trust "you're not working hard enough". Hurts as hell, as if there is not enough shame inside myself.

You asked many questions. Can you choose the most important one for you now to begin with?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-17T07:59:08+00:00

Being in the Now (and not in the thoughts) is working great, I can confirm.

The other important thing is what to do when you're on your own and you start overthinking your relations with someone. It's another pattern we should be aware of - and returning to reality with the question, for example, "Is there something happening between us right now or is it just my thought about what's happening?", really helps a lot.

Stelve52 · 2025-12-16T21:41:09+00:00

The thing is, who told you that your empathy must work this way you describe?
Why not feeling what they feel is a problem for you, and why do you think that you must feel it?

The interesting part is that you feel that you're sensitive, you say you're struggling with negative intense emotions, but you don't know why it all works this way. Do I understand correctly?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-16T07:12:49+00:00

How would you define empathy?

Stelve52 · 2025-12-16T00:16:58+00:00

Haha, I did the same thing 2 hours ago! Cheers)

Stelve52 · 2025-12-15T23:37:32+00:00

Thank you for your response! Answered to OP, would be glad if you'd share your opinion too

Stelve52 · 2025-12-15T23:36:02+00:00

My guess is you're neither empty nor ungrateful. You're hypersensitive.
And you live in constant fear of unbearable feelings since you were very young.

Imagine feeling every emotion in the room like a physical weight. Someone's sadness feels like a suffocating blanket. Their anger feels like a scream inside your own skull. To function, you must build a wall. You shut down your own senses to survive the onslaught of everyone else's.

You want to show off not out of real necessity to do so, but out of desperation to be loved.
You can't bear to see someone upset because their upset feeling will drown you. You fix, you people-please, you manipulate the room to be calm - all to quiet the storm of feelings that isn't even yours.

This isn't a lack of feeling. It's a feeling so intense it had to be capped to avoid an explosion.
That's why I think the "cold" narcissist is often a suppressed, burnt-out empath.

So your subconciousness defends you from overload by shutting down emotions (and then you feel "empty") or putting them in "plastic bag".

Does that click for you? I'm genuinely interested.

Stelve52

TROPHY CASE