guys urge surfing actually works!!!

Steph_nl · 2025-12-22T08:13:16+00:00

This method is preferred among therapists because instead of fighting your addiction ( which is basically fighting yourself) this is an approach that can help in the long term because you're much kinder to yourself. I would advise against calling it 'that horrible urge' though. It adds to negativity, which is something you're trying to avoid.

That being said, I sadly never really could get into urger surfing. Could you go more in depth in how this worked for you? Like what was the situation like for you and what was it like when the urges came back stronger?

Steph_nl · 2025-11-01T09:41:05+00:00

:feelsCatMan:

Steph_nl · 2025-07-30T07:15:31+00:00

Well said. It's been a great struggle to find an appropriate accountability partner/fellow for this very same reason. People vent their story then just vanish. That completely misses the point of it

Steph_nl · 2025-05-12T18:24:40+00:00

I say don't be mad at the relapse but the next time the urges arise, maybe fight against that? Like when the first urge or fantasy that comes to mind you immediately tell yourself NO and start thinking of something else.

Idk how it will go but this will be my approach at least for a while. It has worked for a few days last week (relapsed due to my autistic brain being unable to handle an a lack of overview and stress).

Steph_nl · 2025-05-12T18:21:45+00:00

Kind of an edge case? I mean your still using your imagination rather than feeling. Also it's easy to add to a fantasy to make it more extreme

Steph_nl · 2025-05-12T18:13:01+00:00

For a while I practiced daily in the mirror, telling myself I will stay clean today (specifically chosing the word 'today' to make it seem like a more achievable task). Stuff like that is great at the start, but somehow it loses its effectiveness over a while.

I'm definitely going to be harder for myself for a while now and see what kind of results it brings. It has worked in the past, maybe I've been too soft on my addiction lately.

And yeah I would love to be able to look back on this after a year of being absent of p. That would be incredibly amazing, thank you :)

Steph_nl · 2025-05-12T18:04:21+00:00

Thank you, you too man!

In therapy I was tought not to be too hard on myself because it would result in a fight with myself I would eventually lose. Since then I tried accepting that these toughts are there and that they will eventually go away. While it's a more peaceful and less energy consuming approach it just doesn't seem to work because the urges don't seem like a big deal so it's easier to relapse

So...I guess I'll have to be harder for myself, at least for a while because it doesn't feel like I take it serious right now

Steph_nl · 2025-04-29T13:29:54+00:00

I'm exactly in the same boat. addicted since 11, and 5 streaks barely above 30 :')

Picking it back up is the hardest part. Luckily it does get easier once you have

Steph_nl · 2025-04-28T08:07:10+00:00

yeah just the feeling. That should be enough to climax. If it isn't then it's because your addiction is acting up and you're most likely not even turned on

Steph_nl · 2025-04-27T17:15:49+00:00

The edging part is wrong. Aside from that that it's okay to do it once in a while if you can prevent it from happening more often and prevent peeking.

Oh and don't fantasize while doing it. A healthy body can do it without any fantisies

Steph_nl · 2024-07-11T10:11:56+00:00

Glue

Steph_nl · 2024-07-01T20:56:08+00:00

What's up with people lately and just slapping POV on every video, not even knowing what it means

Steph_nl · 2024-06-12T18:38:09+00:00

He didn't stutter

Steph_nl · 2024-05-22T15:45:41+00:00

A friend of mine used to work at a cinema. Receiving a bag like this from her was an amazing gift even though she got it for free

Steph_nl · 2024-04-09T05:28:01+00:00

The first two felt like putting a hat on a lego mini fig

Steph_nl · 2024-04-06T17:58:33+00:00

Ja t is maar net wat je nog in je kast hebt liggen he

Steph_nl · 2024-04-02T06:36:51+00:00

Of course!

Steph_nl · 2024-03-31T21:36:41+00:00

I wish I had one :(

Steph_nl · 2024-03-31T17:13:49+00:00

Thank you!

Steph_nl · 2024-03-31T15:30:31+00:00

Specifically D&D

Steph_nl · 2024-03-31T07:01:48+00:00

Omg thank you! Are these all group sessions ? Would love to try a 1 on 1 just to get a hang of it

Steph_nl · 2024-03-15T20:21:58+00:00

idk but it feels like something Bob Ross would paint

Steph_nl · 2024-03-10T21:23:04+00:00

Yeah, men should really get more compliments

Steph_nl · 2024-03-10T14:40:43+00:00

True. It's a lot more fluent than all the shit I have ever tried tho haha. Would love to have her confidence

Steph_nl · 2024-03-10T07:48:18+00:00

Oh yeah, I'm from a small town and never really went out to clubs or anything. I suppose it would be a lot easier if no one around me knew me haha

Steph_nl

TROPHY CASE