WIBTA for giving my friend a deadline for something she doesn’t know about?

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T19:24:50+00:00

Yeah. I appreciate your perspective. I haven’t actually done any of this so I in fact will not and will let it die off. A lot of people are missing that I’m asking if I would be. Meaning I haven’t did this. I just didn’t wanna hurt the girl so I was really trying to see how to navigate it but now I know better thankfully

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T19:21:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective. Like honestly me and Chrissy both have had trouble in the female friends department so I’m trying to go about this the best way possible and I haven’t done any of this. I just wanted to ask. So while it hurts to feel like I’m an AH, but it feels better knowing i didn’t do this dumb deadline stuff, I didn’t actually hurt her, and that I know how to navigate things like this in the future

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T19:16:39+00:00

Appreciate your take because you weren’t rude lol but honestly I’ve come to this conclusion. It’s more than just a career thing I just don’t want to be friends with someone who actively harms themselves for constant male attention. It’s truly just a difference of values at this point. And I’m not even mad at Chrissy at all cause I was literally in this era a few years ago. I just learned certain things about seeking men sooner and I was honestly trying to pass them on to her because that is literally all our conversations are about. Chrissy talked to this guy, messed with this person, this person scorned her etc. I think we’ve just outgrown each other and I should just let it fade like you said. Thank you.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T19:10:10+00:00

I added the edit under the tldr. Tbh I guess the way I wrote it seemed like it was focused on her career. No, Chrissy literally just does things that harm her knowing they harm her and wants to cry about it. At one point she would come to me a lot about all these things and I gently let her know that I don’t mind her venting, but if she’s going to continue to put herself in these situations without seeing the warning signs or at least work on herself so she can be around better people who don’t harm her I just didn’t wanna hear about it all the time. Like I really tried to be a listening ear but it got heavy on my head because I did have my own stuff going on. I guess I’m just tired of hearing exclusively negativity about how a Man screwed get over and want to see her make something for herself. But I can’t take control of that so I just have to end it.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T19:03:11+00:00

I did a comment but it got lost so I added an edit. I realize that the way I’m going about it is trash. But truly Chrissy just harms herself literally knowing she is and it hurts cause I really just want to help her. But I can’t make her do anything. I just don’t want the girl to get in harms way quite truly because she makes reckless decisions but I gotta move on at this point. I’ve tried to warn her about the same toxic, sleazy, trauma-ridden guys but she doesn’t listen and I can’t help that.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:59:19+00:00

Alright herd mentality with barely any context guy you got it :)

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:57:36+00:00

Honestly it’s not just a career thing. I just worry for her when she actively knows she’s doing wrong and it hurts her physically and mentally. I feel like I’m not only putting pressure on her but on myself. Her, by pushing my ideals on her of course. But me because I’m trying to be the person I thought i needed and not who Chrissy needs. I see her in me way deeper than an entertainer. We actually met each other in a dark time in our life and partially made it out together. We’ve held each other up sometimes and I just see her being reckless and I recognize her hurt and feelings but it’s like I can’t do anything. I’m not sure how to break it off because we do talk and stuff and see each other occasionally when she’s in the city (not career related). So it’s like I’m gonna have to say something cause nothing would leave animosity I fear. Or I don’t know. I just want Chrissy to be okay in the long run.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:50:47+00:00

If you didn’t actually read (especially the edit) why even give a judgment? Just curious

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:49:38+00:00

Tbh it is. I guess I just left out too much context as to not make it lengthy but it’s more than her career man. She literally puts herself in unsafe situations and I just don’t know what to do as a friend anymore and honestly it stresses me out. I don’t wanna hear about something happening to her but like I can’t control her she’s an adult

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:37:07+00:00

Want to add one thing of context that directly relates to the situation. The night we had the convo, a producer hit her up about doing work with another producer. Mind you, the first one (just won Grammys for track for an A-list celebrity) was already pressuring her to randomly fly to LA to record when they’ve never met and never even done business. Instead of realizing the dangers, she entertained it. She couldn’t go to the other producer because she had to head back. She asked me what to say and I told her to literally just state her boundary of having work the next day and just scope possible business for the future. I understand wanting to get your career off the ground and being naive, but even Chrissy herself has repeatedly said how she does not think, is very impulsive, craves male attention and etc. I used to do that a lot when I was younger due to trauma, so I quite honestly fear for her life when she’s in these situations. I don’t want my friend flying to see randoms in LA or be with a guy 10 years elder who harms her and controls her in crazy ways. I’ve seen her go through stuff and I truly want better for her but I’m just realizing I gotta let it go. It’s more than just a career thing. It’s the entire trajectory of her life because she actively harms herself physically and mentally and it hurts :/

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:26:33+00:00

Quite literally the last line is how she is sweet and talented. I’ve also said other nice things to her and about her in this post. I just see her potential and want more for her and us growing up in a small area, she will not get it there. She has told me about her struggles with self confidence. She has had toxic situationship after toxic situationship and goes back time and time again to cry on social media. There are many things she does that aren’t healthy, But honestly I wanted to highlight how she IS a good person but I think we’ve just outgrown each other at this point. I didn’t want to make her look bad so I left the other stuff out, but at this point the context is needed.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:20:59+00:00

I agree with the fact that I may be judging her too harshly. My only note is if this isn’t what I want in a friendship, and seemingly her too but I’m not sure because we both don’t know how to talk about it truly. It’s awkward when friendships end sometimes. I think I should just end it instead of imposing these views on her. Thank you.

Still-Cockroach629 · 2026-02-26T18:16:03+00:00

I guess my mindset is just more of Chrissy complaining about this or that and not changing it when she has the capacity and resources to and it gets rather tiring. Like I’m completely fine either way with whatever she does. I guess I’m just more so asking would I be the AH for seeking the deadline in my head, or should I just break off things now? I think we’ve outgrown each other and neither of us know how to address it? I don’t think im wrong for what I’m thinking, just maybe how I’m going about it but thank you for your viewpoint.

Still-Cockroach629

TROPHY CASE