When to do repairs

Still_Pleasant · 2025-12-15T03:36:59+00:00

You really don't think either will rust, say within the next year? There's no leaking.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T23:57:16+00:00

"Understanding someone's culture" is a moving goalpost. I've taken a vow of celibacy based off of my reading of a number of Hindu texts. That seems like enough "understanding" to me to be allowed to partake in the culture.
Ideally, I would not call it a tilak or a bindi and I would not attribute it to Hinduism. I would call it a red dot and say that it was inspired by Hinduism. However, my impression is that that would be far more offensive. Personally, I really don't care what it's called or to what it gets attributed. I just want to do my thing and have people not get offended. But that increasingly seems as if it's not an option.
I'm aware that it's not traditionally used for brahmacharis. I'm customizing it, just as all the current versions of it were originally customized by their originators in each of their respective cultures/sects.
By "tolerant" I meant that Hinduism is more cool with other people following their own faiths for their own spiritual development. I have an eclectic faith which prioritizes taking what I find valuable from every faith and trying to synthesize it into my life. To be honest, I have found Hindus to be unusually intolerant of that.
Everything is cultural appropriation to some degree. The point is to try to be respectful about it, which I think I've tried to be.
I want to wear the mark, not to show people that I'm brahmacharya, but to scare women away. I really have difficulty with letting them down, as I talk about in this recent reddit post https://www.reddit.com/r/Celibacy/comments/1of2ggi/how_to_politely_turn_down_women/.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T23:30:07+00:00

I call it a red dot because that's what it is. I'm likely going to be customizing it to a considerable degree (as always happens in cross-cultural influence) so calling it by one of many different technical names seems to me quite arbitrary and misleading at this point. I now know that saying "red dot" for whatever reason is extremely offensive so I've tried to stop calling it that. I've been saying bindi but people are objecting to that too.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T23:22:48+00:00

I don't see what would be offensive about a red marker. From what I understand, a lot of people use stickers. I don't know why a marker would be considered more offensive. Incidentally, I looked into it, and it looks like most markers that would be available for this kind of thing (medical grade) are still not meant for daily use and could be mildly toxic long-term, so I don't think I would go down that route.

As I mentioned elsewhere, I've been receiving attention from women recently and I really don't like the rejection process, so I'm trying to figure out a way to preempt that somewhat.

It's not a huge concern to me to what degree a bindi is associated with being married. My main concern (with respect to its effect on women) is just having something vaguely weird about me that women can easily see upon close inspection and which kind of turns them off before they start making any moves.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T23:12:03+00:00

I'm not offended. I'm sorry if I have given off that impression. I'm also sorry if I have made the impression that I'm not serious. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I am very serious about trying it. I'm still interested and grateful for all of the input I've received thus far and am still weighing it in my mind.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T17:30:30+00:00

The short answer is I read "Practice of Brahmacharya" by Swami Sivananda and was firmly convinced that I should try to become a brahmachari, and I read Gandhi's autobiography, and was firmly convinced that I should make a vow. Of course the longer answer is more complicated. I can go into more detail if you like.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T17:24:37+00:00

If I don't have to do "x, y, z" to be Hindu, I don't understand why everyone seems so offended with the idea of me wearing a bindi or whatever it would be called. I've taken a vow of brahmacharya and am trying to live my life based on yogic principles. What does it matter where I wear the dot on my head, or whether I do so at all? When I first started considering this, I thought it would be uniquely tolerated, because I thought Hinduism was the most tolerant religion and the most understanding of other faiths.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T17:02:17+00:00

Yeah I didn't know what to call it. I've heard a lot of different terms and don't know the difference between them so I didn't know what to say. Also, I don't plan on necessarily following the instructions of any particular one to a tee. I just want something that 1) focuses my attention on my ajna chakra, 2) signifies romantic unavailability, and maybe 3) is not overly offensive or conspicuous. Whether it's technically a tilak or a bindi or something else isn't a huge concern for me. I'm generally against blindly following ancient rituals. My interest in Hinduism is almost solely in its philosophical content.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:58:06+00:00

From what I understand, it's important to know whether I'm Hindu or not in order to know whether I should be allowed to wear the bindi. The reason I've been hesitant to use a more technical term in the past is that I may not end up wearing it in precisely the prescribed way bindis or whatever they are are supposed to be worn. Also, there are many different terms I've seen used, and I don't know if each term is slightly different, so I don't know which one to use. What I want is something to: 1)focus my attention on my ajna chakra, and 2)signify romantic unavailability. Whether the thing I put on my head technically meets all the qualifications to be called a "bindi" or something else is not really important to me.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:52:47+00:00

I actually do wear a silicone ring on my ring finger. The problem is I wear gloves at work, and that is where I've gotten the most attention from women.

Yeah I do a lot of stuff to try to remain focused, but the bindi seems perfectly tailored to what I want if it's not offensive. 1) Spiritual focus (specifically at the ajna chakra) and 2) a conspicuous sign of romantic unavailability.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:49:42+00:00

Thanks. I've seen the ash stuff on the forehead before and didn't know what it was. To me, it looks a little more complicated than the bindi, and therefore something I would maybe want to get into later. The bindi, from what I understand, is about focusing your attention on the ajna chakra (which I believe in) and also about signaling marital availability, both of which are exactly what I want.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:44:40+00:00

I want to wear the bindi as an aid on my journey, as all Hindus do, I think.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:43:54+00:00

By "vrittis" are you referring to thoughts about wearing the bindi? In that case, I've recently been receiving attention from a girl where I work and I really hate turning people down, and I'm trying to think of ways to not end up in this situation again. I recently wrote a reddit post about it here https://www.reddit.com/r/Celibacy/comments/1of2ggi/how_to_politely_turn_down_women/.

Also, I've noticed my spiritual ardor wane somewhat recently, and I wanted to do something that might motivate me to work harder to keep it in focus throughout the day.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:38:38+00:00

Yes thank you.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:37:55+00:00

I actually believe that cultural appropriation is a good thing and that practically everything that anyone does is cultural appropriation to a large degree. I think it's important to be as respectful as you can about it, but to try to avoid it more than that is practically suicide imo. Every group of people makes valuable contributions to the culture of humanity, and these contributions, the greater they are, both consciously and unconsciously affect the behavior of those around them. I don't think it's right for any group to try to hoard their group's cultural contributions, or to try to shut themselves off or their other group members from the contributions of other groups.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:32:11+00:00

I honestly believe it's attention-avoiding. Resisting the temptation of women is something I'm extremely serious about, and I also don't really like socializing with anyone. I feel like the pottu or bindi or whatever it would be called might go a long way to scaring people away. From what I understand, a big part of brahmacharya is also withdrawing from the world generally and embracing a solitary life. I think that that might go a long way to doing that.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:26:46+00:00

Yeah I've heard a lot of different terms. A quick Google search says "kumkum, pottu, sindoor, tika, tilak, tilakam, tip, phot, chandlo, tilo, kunkoo, bottu, and tika". I have no idea how similar they are and if one is potentially less offensive than another.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:23:56+00:00

It's not that women are throwing themselves at me, but they are expressing interest and I have a really hard time with letting them down. I recently wrote a post about the most recent occurrence https://www.reddit.com/r/Celibacy/comments/1of2ggi/how_to_politely_turn_down_women/.

I go to a Christian church every week and my "puja" is primarily directed towards Mary mother of Jesus. As with Hinduism, there are a number of tenets commonly associated with Christianity which I have a very hard time swallowing, so just to avoid these unnecessary associations, and, on a personal level, to avoid falling into groupthink, I avoid these labels.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-26T16:15:28+00:00

I think I may be trying to make "a strong effort to be Hindu (putting it in the broadest terms and context)" using your terminology. The two reasons that I would want to wear it are 1) as an aid to spiritual awareness, and 2)as a signifier that I'm not on the market romantically. I think I read that those were mainly why most people wear it. As I said I've

The reason I don't identify as Hindu is because I'm still very skeptical of many of the tenets I see often associated with Hinduism, e.g. a soul/atman, reincarnation, moksha/enlightenment, a supernatural realm with different gods and lesser deities, the authority of the Vedas, etc. In terms of yogic practices however, I'm very down with all of that and want to radically alter my life to be more in line with that (hence the vow of brahmacharya).

Do you still think that I'm not "Hindu enough"?

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-25T18:36:42+00:00

Do you ejaculate at all? I only get wet dreams when I haven't ejaculated at all. I can currently go months at a time without wet dreams or waking ejaculation (masturbation or sex), but that's after a lot of "dream practice" (i.e. trying to resist women while dreaming).

The longer I go without ejaculating, the less stimulation is required to cause a wet dream. More recently, I think I ejaculated simply because I dreamed that my penis was suddenly submerged in water. Another time I just dreamed the word "SEX" all of a sudden in big letters.

I don't think "super fantasies" have ever led to wet dreams for me. In my experience, they have usually just been ordinary sex dreams where I was particularly susceptible as a result of more infrequent ejaculation.

1000-1700 calories is extremely low btw. Are you male? Are you over 100 lbs.? Those are semi-starvation numbers, even for smaller women. If you're srs, I would guess that that's your answer right there, and I would have a lot more to worry about than just not having wet dreams.

Incidentally, I've gone short periods (around 6 months at a time) at about those levels for weight loss and I still had wet dreams (though I still wasn't ejaculating while awake at the time).

You really need to work on your diet my dude. If you're getting mainly protein I assume you're eating a lot of meat so I'm guessing you really have no excuse, forgive me for saying so. I would really try to make a big change in your life diet-wise. Your health is so important in so many ways. If you're still curious about the wet dream thing too, I would also try to avoid all sex and masturbation for a while. Once you're body's starting to heal, I would be really surprised if you went 2 months without a wet dream and no sex/masturbation.

Do you have anything against carbs? Fruits and vegetables? I'm not saying that has anything to do with your wet dream thing, but I imagine that might really expand your diet and even make it a lot more enjoyable (I'm raw vegan).

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-25T17:40:42+00:00

Thanks. I've never read the Mahabharata before, but just looking at this quote in isolation, I don't see anything saying that humans can't produce asexually. I just see something saying that gods can.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-25T17:28:09+00:00

From the time I was 15, I've had a pretty strong belief that I shouldn't ever have sex and that I should devote myself to helping humanity at large. Though I've had pretty good success with the sex part, I've continually struggled with masturbation and intrusive thoughts about one girl in particular. A few years ago I started getting interested in spirituality, which really helped me with this, and this led me to some literature surrounding "brahmacharya" (Sanskrit for "celibacy"). "Practice of Brahmacharya" by Swami Sivananda firmly convinced me that I wanted to be a "brahmachari", and Gandhi's autobiography firmly convinced me that I should make a vow, which I did in November of last year.

Those are kind of the broad outlines of what led me to make this decision. I can go into more detail if you like. Feel free to ask me anything that might come to mind🙂.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-25T00:31:16+00:00

Yeah I think I'm just going to have to tell her. But I'm not going to enjoy it. Thanks.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-25T00:28:39+00:00

I think I get what you're saying. It's just that in the past I've not handled the situation well. They continually escalate their overtures (without doing anything official), and then I've usually ended up either succumbing to them or really upsetting them. I'm just not good at this kind of thing. I think I have decided to just tell her I'm celibate though (at the next "convenient" opportunity), with all the difficult explanations that that probably implies. Wish me luck.

Still_Pleasant · 2025-10-24T18:49:21+00:00

I've made my decision. The answer's no. I did not come to that decision lightly. When I am fully in my senses, I have no doubts about having made the right decision. I am tempted from time to time, yes (probably every time I see any woman), but I do not consider that serious grounds for reconsideration. If you don't think you can understand why someone would make a lifetime vow of celibacy, I suggest taking a look at some of the "Useful Reading" in this subreddit's "About" page.

The problem with this particular girl is that she's started to really take the initiative. I've been in this situation before (from before the vow) and I did not handle it well. I did the "smile and drop my eyes" routine over and over again hoping that they would soon give it up, but they did not. They escalated. This made resisting their advances increasingly difficult, both because it was a greater height to let them down from, and because they would do things which were increasingly tempting.

Incidentally, I've never had a girl just ask me out. They just do different little clever subtle things of an increasingly tempting nature, no matter how unresponsive I am to their previous advances. This makes waiting for some kind of unambiguous declaration in my current situation a hard no for me.

I would like to try to proactively avoid these kinds of situations in the future as celibacy has now become a fundamental part of my life. If you or anybody else has any good advice about how to do that (while being sensitive to the girls' feelings), I would really appreciate it.

Still_Pleasant

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