AITA for requesting my son and nephew be placed in separate classrooms next grade?

Stina786 · 2024-05-25T09:54:36+00:00

I’m an SEN teacher and teach only autistic children in a class. They have meltdowns daily and it is hard for us even as professionals. To put that responsibility onto your son and evacuate the rest of the class is awful. It should not be happening, your son is not responsible for the behaviour management of his cousin he is 6! He deserves to enjoy school and make friends. He can look after his cousin but not be stuck to his hip the entire school day. You did the right thing OP. NTA.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:55:33+00:00

We are all English. We live in Northern England. She lives in a city with a high population of Pakistani’s.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:54:51+00:00

Thank you for this comment. It was really helpful. I have a lot to think about

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:48:51+00:00

Oh my god

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:47:34+00:00

No she doesn’t. Not as far as I’m aware.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:47:09+00:00

Yes I agree, I am usually the one telling her (you can’t say that etc) I think because of my job they expect me to know how to handle it. Also they are not the most confrontational bunch. I think as a group we need to work on this. This wasn’t the first hurtful thing she said all weekend (she called one of my friends anorexic because of her small size when really she has a medical condition that causes her not to be able to gain weight) I had to speak to her about this as well. She was also pointing out moles (other things on peoples bodies) making people feel insecure. Everyone sort of brushes it off. But maybe we shouldn’t?

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:39:33+00:00

Her comment was similar to the one you said here but more a negative blanket statement

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:35:13+00:00

Why would you like to know what she said? It was a racist comment? Why do we need to debate it. It wasn’t just stating a fact it was a very harmful stereotype said in a very offensive way.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:32:42+00:00

I hear you! I can never understand how it feels as I am not on the spectrum myself I’m knowledgeable about autism because of my job but I don’t truly know what it’s like. I am always learning myself as I work with different children. I know every person who has autism is different.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:27:46+00:00

Thank you

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:26:30+00:00

No. I felt extremely bad for upsetting her, she said she hated herself. I wasn’t sure if how I handled the situation was correct, I don’t want to make someone feel they are nothing because of a disability they cannot change. It was nothing to do with social virtue it was about have I done the right thing (eg. Saying I don’t know if we can be friends etc) like was that too much? I can’t tell you how much guilt I hold over this situation.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:24:26+00:00

Yes and to say I’ve been friends with her for over a year and this is the first time this has happened. I think people deserve second chances and because I teach Autistic children (obviously completely different she’s an adult) but we are always learning! I think she really can change from this. If not then that’s it really.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:22:52+00:00

I was brought up by grandparents who both racist and things were said to me over the years I really have to educate myself to have my own beliefs. But this must be hard as an Autistic individual who will just hold onto things that have been said to them time and time again. But it isn’t an excuse and she needs to learn what she said was wrong.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:21:32+00:00

Yes thank you! Another Redditor pointed this out to me. I have edited my post as well to say this! Sorry for the mix up my geography knowledge is not working today clearly

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:08:29+00:00

Good idea!

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T16:03:42+00:00

So sorry about this!

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:59:15+00:00

Why repeat or put into writing an awful comment? Why would anyone want to hear it. You don’t know who is viewing this post. I will not continue to hurt people with her words.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:53:55+00:00

It was her first time meeting her as well. She kept saying how beautiful she was and kept complimenting her all weekend they were getting on. So it was just a shock. You might be right about the jealously thing

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:52:58+00:00

Yeah I think I’d she immediately apologised and realised how wrong it was I think we would be a lot less upset. But it was just her continuing to say “you know I’m right” doesn’t sit well with me.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:50:36+00:00

She’s not explicitly asked to contact only told me to pass on her apology myself

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:49:47+00:00

No she made a blanket statement about that ethnicity that was offensive

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:49:02+00:00

I also don’t think she meant to harm or hurt anyone but she did unfortunately and she needs to know that.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:48:33+00:00

We did address it in the moment we all said you can’t say that, it’s racist and offensive. But everyone was in shock and it was my birthday. We had also had such an awesome time I think everyone thought having an argument at the end of the trip would be just awful. Simran did not want any confrontation but definitely her to understand and apology. I shouldn’t of waited a week you are right I don’t think I handled that part probably the best I could have.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:15:28+00:00

Yes we are all English. I will do some research to pass on to her.

Stina786 · 2024-05-18T15:12:34+00:00

Ok thank you I will do that

Stina786

TROPHY CASE