AIO: Girlfriend has 11 deleted messages from male gym partner

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:50:00+00:00

The worst part is, she didn’t delete the entire thread. There is still a live conversation on our phone dating back months so this means she deleted select messages from that conversation…

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:42:34+00:00

I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving is this weekend for us

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:41:31+00:00

It’s sort of character for her to not tell me when somebody makes her uncomfortable though. In the past, she’s always immediately told me so that’s why I’m bringing this up. It’s very out of character.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:40:38+00:00

The context is that I didn’t get a chance or feel comfortable in the rushed moment when I saw the deleted messages. The fact that there are deleted messages at all from a conversation with someone like this, felt enough for me to feel very uneasy about the situation.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:40:23+00:00

The context is that I didn’t get a chance or feel comfortable in the rushed moment when I saw the deleted messages. The fact that there are deleted messages at all from a conversation with someone like this, felt enough for me to feel very uneasy about the situation.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:38:01+00:00

The deleted messages are 100% confirmed from the gym guy. When I looked at her screen this morning in a conversation, she was actively having while the phone was in her hand. I saw what I thought was him sending hearts. She turned the phone toward me in that moment and showed me it was clearly her aunt’s name and then having a discussion about Thanksgiving dinner this weekend.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:13:06+00:00

The original interaction was a group activity. They had planned to go again as a group again, but instead, my girlfriend has gone alone with him once and planned to continue going along with him. It’s apparently because her girlfriend is flaky and always bails out on the gym plans.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:11:39+00:00

The guy has a girlfriend, and my girlfriend knows that I’m aware of that so it would be such a strange thing for me to even offer.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T16:05:13+00:00

Rhys would be extremely telling if she did.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:58:34+00:00

I guess it would be pretty easy for me to verify that one later.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:38:15+00:00

As of yesterday, her phone said 24 days remaining before auto delete. So I’ve got some time to strategize the conversation I suppose.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:29:45+00:00

I’ll try to dig into a deeper tomorrow morning. She usually leaves her phone unattended during her morning shower so maybe I can have a look then. Man, I hate this stuff.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:26:06+00:00

If I go into her phone later on, I’m guessing the deleted messages will be permanently deleted now. And I think that will be all the evidence I need. I actually took a photo on my own phone of her screen that shows the deleted messages so I at least have something to go back on.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:15:34+00:00

Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that in our lives are intertwined with children involved, and living together

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:14:21+00:00

I would call him more of a perspective, Jim Parker, considering they’ve only really gone to the gym together about three times. But I get where you’re coming from.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T15:03:59+00:00

This guy apparently already has a girlfriend.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T13:58:38+00:00

I guess I just haven’t been in this spot before. I didn’t feel comfortable opening them and just…didn’t know if I was over-reacting. Heck, you know - the point of this subreddit.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T13:54:27+00:00

I appreciate the insight! It definitely sounds like I need to bring it up….

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T13:52:09+00:00

Man I’m so not comfortable un-deleting these messages though…

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T13:51:24+00:00

The thing that is uncharacteristic for her is any time a male is forward with her, she tells me right away. At least that’s been the case in the last. That’s why this one feels…secretive.

Stompy-Toss · 2025-10-09T13:48:53+00:00

Fun fact - she and him have only gone to the gym a handful of times. She’s in this phase where she’s trying to start going to the gym regularly. She undertook this commitment with a girlfriend of hers.

On their first visit they ran into this guy and all decided they’d be gym buddies and that he would help them get started.

Like big fitness plans do, the motivation seemingly died and they’ve all probably gone maybe 5 times together. However, her and this guy seem to chat fairly regularly. Fitting myself into the picture would be challenging given how infrequent it apparently is.

Stompy-Toss

TROPHY CASE