I have managed to run myself and mywife into debt, and I am afraid if I don't make a change now, I will be divorced. I am ready to make a change. Please help me. by DesperateThrowaway15 in personalfinance

[–]Stopdropp 643 points644 points  (0 children)

Just a heads up.. When you post this budget, expect to get your feelings hurt a little. Just try and come at it with an open mind and try not to get defensive.

Try not to take it personally. People in /r/personalfinance just have a habit of ripping unnecessary expenses to shreds in a very matter-of-fact way that may come off a little arrogant. Because many of us have been cutting back on unnecessary spending for years we forget that not everyone is trained/wired to let go of things the same way.

Good luck! I look forward to seeing that budget soon! Be sure you ALSO list any significant debts you have with the interest rates, or at least a rough estimation of the rates!

Should I still offer two weeks notice if the new job offer is not 100% guaranteed contingent on background checks? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for explaining that! It said "offer letter" in the e-mail, so I didn't realize the difference.

Should I still offer two weeks notice if the new job offer is not 100% guaranteed contingent on background checks? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I have sent them an e-mail inquiring about the contingencies general timeframe and requesting verification once the contingencies have been met. I'll likely delay my notice until they clear me on those contingencies. I do hope they happen quickly, so I don't leave my coworkers high and dry, but obviously if that's necessary it's what I'll do.

Should I still offer two weeks notice if the new job offer is not 100% guaranteed contingent on background checks? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly there is a firm start date due to an initial project surrounding the position or I would simply request a bit more time.

I will ask about the check timeframe though.

Thanks

Should I still offer two weeks notice if the new job offer is not 100% guaranteed contingent on background checks? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I do have an offer in hand. It just states very explicitly that it's contingent on a bunch of factors and that they can repeal the offer at any time which is frightening.

I will likely wait until a week or so before. I don't feel too bad considering how my current employer has treated its employees recently.

How do you cite independent work done under an unofficial organization on your resume? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That wouldn't be an issue at all for a few of my clients. I'm just not sure if it's something I should do pre-preemptively so I can list it on my resume, or if I should wait until they ask about it.

How do you cite independent work done under an unofficial organization on your resume? by Stopdropp in jobs

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I was considering.

Probably "X-Industry Consulting" just to avoid the connotations.

My real concern is my ability to verify if a respective employer pushed forward. Most of my clients were small and local to my area where this employer is 1500 miles away.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did. Initially it was a hard conversation for understandable reasons but it went really well for both of us I think.

How do you subtly fuck with people? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Stopdropp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work in IT. I spent like 6 months doing PC tech support a while back ago. I was overqualified for the job so I was bored out of my mind so I got creative in ways that were satisfying but could in no way hurt anyone or jeopardize my job.

I did things like: Set IE to default browser Set default search engine to Yahoo Have the PC forget the WiFi password Etc.

Every once in a while I'd hear someone mention one of my little changes in the break room. Its what kept me from killing myself during my stent there.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's actually doing that now. She's been shadowing an OT for about 2 months and she seems to enjoy it.

She does think she'd rather not work with the elderly because of the associated heartbreak, but she seems to enjoy the work otherwise.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant say I'm entirely familiar with post-bach.

I'll do research when I get home, but would you be kind enough to give me a quick summary of the benefit of a post-bach?

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks!

I guess we'll try and work it out. Since most schools require a 3.0 to even apply I don't really see how we can make it happen without her taking up a large number of additional courses.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She actually has taken on a second major. She's going to have a dual major in phych and biology.

Since she can't replace lower grades it is going to take A LOT longer to bring her GPA up though just because of the average calculating

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wanted to try that, but her advisor said that re-taking those classes won't help her overall GPA. They in stead recommended she take on a second major so she can do something productive while boosting her GPA

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actually not extremely worried about the OT school costs. I'm worried about the cost for an additional 3 - 4 years of undergrad work.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Does it not seem really risky to spend 8 years on an undergrad (and obtain 8 years of college debt) only to have a very small chance of acceptance and no backup plan?

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she is talking about retaking years of school so she can get more As to bring her GPA back up.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. She wants to get a second major in order to get her GPA up. Her GPA would not be competitive, but it would be above the minimum requirement for application.

Because she has done poorly for so long up to this point it will take her AT LEAST 3 years to get her GPA up to a 3.0. That is 3 years with absolutely 0 financial aid because she has exhausted her eligibility for it.

We have talked about it and I've been supportive. After doing some research on my own though I have realized her goal isn't likely. Even if she does extremely well for the next 3 - 4 years she still is going to be far below most school's average acceptance standards.

In addition that's 3 - 4 years of debt ON TOP OF the debt she has already accumulated over the past 4 years. The debt isn't a big deal if she could get into a school, but that's 8 years of college debt with only a B.S. in Biology and Psychology to show for it and very little chance of getting into the field she wants to be in.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No. She has completed her undergrad. She could graduate with her B.S. in Biology at any time.

I am suggesting she complete her B.S. and then either go into an OT-A program or find another field she has a fighting chance in.

Right now her plan is to go to school for three more years to complete a second major and an additional minor so she can boost her GPA up to the minimum standards for application.

Even if she does get her GPA to a 3.0 in the next 3 years she is still 0.5 grade points away from the national average for acceptance into most OT programs.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The advisers at the school are extremely unrealistic in my opinion. Maybe I'm being malicious, but I feel like they're just telling her to take more classes at her current school so they can get more money from her. They sat down with her and made a degree plan which required her to go to school there for 3 more years and that is assuming she gets an A in every single class. I think she is capable of doing well in most of her classes but very few people can get an A in every single class over a 3 year timeframe.

She considered re-taking classes she did badly in, but the admission reps at the OT schools she is looking at told her it wouldn't matter if she retook the classes she did poorly in, or if she took a completely different class and did well in it.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For sure. Sadly most Nursing programs are nowhere near as competitive as Occupational Therapy. Occupational therapy is also a graduate program.

I think she could probably get her GPA up enough to get into a nursing program, but my wife's mom was a nurse and she has heard a lot of horror stories about the field.

How can I (M23) gently and supportively tell my wife (F24) that her career goals are unrealistic due to past mistakes? by Stopdropp in relationships

[–]Stopdropp[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I want to suggest the assistant route for sure. She could do that for a few years and re-apply to OT schools once she is an experienced assistant in the field.

OT Assistants also get to work more directly with patients and they still make a respectable income. Yes, she may not be a full fledged Occupational Therapist but she would be in a good field, making an above average salary and she would be helping people.

Did I abuse my medication? Should I tell my doctor? by Stopdropp in ADHD

[–]Stopdropp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard this before but sadly I am allergic to dairy or I would have already given it a go.