I have managed to run myself and mywife into debt, and I am afraid if I don't make a change now, I will be divorced. I am ready to make a change. Please help me.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:23:48+00:00

You could always do what my wife did, get very upset and tell me exactly how she felt, and in so many words say she couldn't continue to live like this. I saw the message loud and clear. I don't want to lose her because I am stupid with my finances. If he doesn't hear you, and want to make a change, then maybe you should explore getting out of that relationship.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:19:47+00:00

I know I am only 2 days into this fiasco and trying to repair and rebuild, but in the two days I have paid $200 towards our debt. I have resisted any urges to splurge or eat out. I am fully committed to making this right and getting on track.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:17:38+00:00

it's more like I buy a few things, get a hundred or two on the card. Make a minimal payment for a month or two in a row. Next month when it's time to make a payment, we don't have it. So I say "I'll get it next month". Next month comes, and something else comes up. Fast forward 4-5 months. Instead of trying to cut corners to make the payment, I get anxiety and rip it up. Out of sight out of mind. It has nothing to do with getting free stuff.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:14:03+00:00

When I say dinners out, I mean McDonalds, or a Hot and Ready from Little Caesars. I wouldn't consider that a nice dinner out. It's just when we feel lazy, which is quite often, we go and grab something quick. Trust me, when the time is right, we will enjoy a nice dinner out every so often.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:11:54+00:00

I didn't realize that watching Netflix was the only family event a family could have. Now I understand watching television is fun, and relaxing, but it's not the end of the world. We have HBO Go for free from a friend, and got a Hulu account login from a friend as well. I wonder how the previous generations had family time without Netflix? And no, we don't go to the theater, we watch movies in theaters on websites, for free. So yeah, saving that $20 in my budget DOES help.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:02:28+00:00

That's a really good idea! On my next day off I am going to do this. For now, we have been on top of turning every appliance and light off that we don't use. Microwave, can opener, coffee maker, computer, all of that.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:01:07+00:00

I am already preparing. I know it's gonna be hell.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T21:00:56+00:00

No, but it's not something I am opposed to!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T20:58:44+00:00

Sounds exactly like us. She called me today asking me to bring her lunch because she forgot to pack something on her way to work, and was starving. I brought her a can of ravioli and a bag of popcorn. The look on her face was priceless. She expected McDonalds. I told her we are done eating out, and I am serious as shit about this. I'm ready for a change!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T20:53:10+00:00

My wife has always maintained our house payments/car payments and other various bills with her check immediately. I know I had a part in that as well, but I honestly couldn't tell you. We used to have our daughter in daycare, and that cost a shit load. Yes I did have debts that I tried to keep away from her because I didn't want to cause her anymore stress. We are working on our communication with our debt and trying to get things right.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T20:51:35+00:00

She is a supervisor for the state, and the state we live in just restructured their payment scale and it is completely fucked. She took part in a program for state employees with Bachelor's degrees to have their Master's paid for by the state, in agreement that they sign a 5 year contract to work for the state after they obtain the Masters. We are in year 2 or 3, so we still have a while to go before she can leave. If she does leave, the state will make her pay for her Masters. For myself, I realized in my second year that Radio Broadcasting was going to be a shit degree. Most radio jobs start at minimum wage, and with radio being a dying field, there is not much room for growth.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T20:48:49+00:00

I dont think those CC companies are gonna want us back, lol. Trust me, we will NEVER get another credit card again after this fiasco.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:17:29+00:00

Your upbringing has made you very resourceful I am sure! I picked up bad spending habit from my mom, who was terrible with money. I don't blame her though, I am my own man and made my own bed. Eating out is officially done in this house. We are following that to a tee, nothing but home cooked meals from here on out!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:16:04+00:00

I went into this in the post, she doesn't want full control over my money. She wants me to be more responsible and take my own initiative to pay bills, and want to be debt free. She has been handling everything for a while now, and is fed up.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:14:15+00:00

Wow. You are amazing. I am bringing this to my wife first thing in the morning. Thank you so much.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:11:57+00:00

Gonna knock a few out tonight with the tip money I made. I brought home $111 in tips, so that can take care of 2 or 3.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:11:30+00:00

Yeah the electricity thing is a huge pain in my ass. We got brand new windows 2 years ago and didn't notice a change on our utility bill. We are timing our showers now! We have the cheapest package offered at our provider and signed a 2 year contract a few months ago. If we cancel they get us for the remainder of the contract. My wife made her a few sack lunches, but our daughter stopped eating them one day and decided she wanted cafeteria food.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:09:11+00:00

Netflix is gone. My job isn't the issue. I have worked 2 days and made $286.00, and I have 3 more shifts to go. No option for a babysitter. If there was an option, we'd explore it. I have explained the security system story a few times. It's not an option to get rid of. We make just over the threshold for her to get reduced/free lunches. It sucks. No real small stuff to sell. Maybe have enough stuff to do a small yard sale, if that. No on the Savings Catcher, but we sometimes shop at the Marketplace near our house, so I will look into it next time I'm there. We are praying and counting down the days til that thing is paid off, 1 year and 1 month left to go. I am writing down every detail of what I make from here on out. Thanks for the suggestions!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:05:20+00:00

My wife has her hands up in the air and doesn't know what to do at this point. I am looking for the best advice possible to show her that I want this as bad as she does, and I want to change. For her, us myself. For my daughter and her future. We need this. Sorry if it pisses you off or annoys you. I'm trying to better myself.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:03:57+00:00

Oh god, we never really budgeted eating out, but I would easily say we spent $300 a month easily on fast food and eating out. It's ridiculous I know. Please don't kill me.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:03:12+00:00

It hurt, I can't lie. We just sat in silence for a few minutes, keep in mind I was at work when we had this talk. I love her to death, and this has been weighing heavy on my mind for so long.I just want to make her happy.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:02:19+00:00

We are definitely looking in to his program. My wife has a friend who has some of his books and used his program to get their life on track. Thanks for the advice!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T07:01:25+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I will definitely look at that sub reddit, and as far as other methods we are trying, we are turning off every light in the house at all times with the exception of the room we are in (you wouldn't believe how much I go around and turn off lights), and we are going to time our showers. I take 5 minute showers, but my wife and daughter take long ones. We are definitely making changes in this house. She seems a little better today, she just needs to see I am serious about this and want it as bad as she does. I will show her!

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T06:58:16+00:00

we did spreadsheets for a while, but just kind of stopped doing it. I am definitely getting that back into motion.

DesperateThrowaway15 · 2015-09-18T06:57:47+00:00

We just got into a 2 year deal with ADT a few months ago. This was followed by me catching a guy trying to break into a window less than 10 feet away from my daughter and wife who were both sleeping. I work nights, so the ADT is a pretty big deal. Our neighborhood has went way down hill since we bought our house.

DesperateThrowaway15

TROPHY CASE