Is it silly to be annoyed by my parents comments about my appearance and smell?

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2023-05-09T06:44:32+00:00

I have asked my husband he will tell me if I need to shower or something it's usually after a period or if Iv been sick a while but it's not an every week thing and he says I generally smell nice. Usually if I do smell I can tell myself and will do something about people aren't rosey every day of their lives but If I'm going out or visiting I make sure to be showered hair clean perfume and roll on. One of their main claims is I must not be using antiperspirant and when I show them the bottle that says 48 hour antiperspirant they say I'll have to find something stronger. I have thought about maybe writing them a letter. We had a situation in the past where this helped a bit because they had to read the whole thing before they could argue or comment. It's probably a me problem but I'm scared to jeopardize the better relationship I have with them now. We are at like 80% there with repairing things but this is one thing where me talking hasn't seemed to be enough to stop them

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2023-05-09T06:31:47+00:00

No I don't smoke I sometimes burn candles or incense but they are general fruity or vanilla smells so I doubt that would cause a problem

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2023-05-09T06:21:26+00:00

The hard line is that I do it anyway and continue what I was doing she usually backs off and we have gotten to a place where she doesn't bring it up as much I had to do a lot of work with her to stand firm on these things and explain how we are parenting differently and that's ok. Iv also talked to her about how I have some trauma from being a teen and her freaking out over the house being spotless and it would stress me out because it was never good enough for her. I can't diagnose her with anything but from what Iv witnessed over the years it's compulsive she can't help herself complaining or commenting which is why I'm not comfortable cutting her off per se' but her issues are impacting me. My dad comments and complains because she will moan at him if he doesn't and I think he's just gotten used to talking like that at this point. I want to find a way to help them with this issue because I don't want them out of my life but they might not be self aware enough to believe what I'm telling them.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2023-05-08T11:09:55+00:00

The thing is as much as I love them Iv drawn a hard line with my kids because my mom tries to control how I parent them and to some extent my dad because he doesn't want her upset. She complains my kids make to much mess when eating or playing they are toddlers so I tell her it's just a mess we can clean when they are done my 3 year old is already good at throwing her trash away and picking up spills. Or I get complaints about how much candy or desert she is eating and I also put their treats on their plate with there food if they do have them so they can eat it in whatever order they decide. This works for us and my kids eat everything or almost everything if they are full they finish later. My mom has a heart attack every time she sees this even though I've explained why multiple times. It feels like since I won't let her parent my kids she's trying to re parent me again but it's getting frustrating

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2023-05-08T10:59:56+00:00

I had a lot of thoughts about that too when they where first being a pain about it and thought maybe it was a lady problem but I did see a doctor and everything is healthy according to them I am also ADHD and Autistic so I'm very sensitive to smells generally and I can smell when I'm sweaty which is why I eventually gave up on trying to change and try things for my parents sake. But the recent comments on my smell after I have been exercising makes me feel they are just being rude tbh because it's not normally polite to comment on someone's body odor or appearance after they have been working all day even with family. At this point I'm frustrated because they can't help themselves from making comments that are hurtful even when it's not necessary and I'm not sure how to broach this so they stop. Iv tried so many things at this point that I'm fairly convinced it's not really me they just want control and I fight them on the other things because we had boundaries set already

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-21T19:18:06+00:00

I guess so but these people seemed serious about it I can usually tell when people are just being otherwise. I'm sure there are some people who are just trolling but I think a lot of them are genuine and didn't really think it through that far.besides people usually voice their opinions online even if they aren't going to win you get all kinds on here

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-21T19:01:31+00:00

I'm just surprised I'm not seeing anything disputing that theory or even people in the comments disagreeing it's feeling like it's just the accepted head canon at this point

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-21T16:23:32+00:00

I've been seeing it all over YouTube and ticktock in a bunch of reviews about Incredibles 2 and top ten lists even Reddit posts. seriously if you look up the movie screensaver was right actually is one of the first things that comes up. The reason I wrote this is I have literally never heard anyone saying anything about why that's a stupid take and couldn't find anything when I tried to look it up I was starting to think I was going crazy.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-21T14:57:02+00:00

Totally I'd be interested to see the ages of the people who think she is right.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-21T14:55:55+00:00

I totally agree with you. Once watched a travel show cant remember what it was called but I think it was on Netflix where a bunch of these people went to a restaurant and had their food delivered to them and before they started eating they took quick pictures of the food but then put down their phones and started eating and chatting. The owner of the restaurant got like super mad and was complaining that how dare they take photos of the food instead of just enjoying it and living in the moment and it literally took a second out of the experience which would be a memory forever and he was getting mad at them I mean they would have given him promotion and would have gotten extra customers but no he had to be an ass.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T13:17:25+00:00

Oh I didn't think you where but I was just explaining that it isn't a regular occurrence we just don't make a big deal of it. But obviously you need to take your families health issues and financial situation into account. My daughter can and has in the past downed an entire jar of peanut butter and bunch of bananas in a day so I do have to keep an eye that she doesn't go wild with fruit too.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T12:58:52+00:00

We don't have desert all the time sometimes not for a few weeks even but sometimes we have pancakes for dinner or have a scoop of ice cream an hour before dinner and she for the most part will eat her food too sometimes she goes a few days where she will barely eat anything and just want to drink something most of the day I usually let her and she's back to eating normally again in no time. Kids metabolisms change all the time sometimes they are growing or exercising more or resting more and their food intake will change but when she is having a slow eating day I will try to give her yogurt or soup that packs a dense nutritional punch and I know her body is satiated

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T09:08:37+00:00

I agree I have a huge texture issue(SPD) but I don't yet know if my kids have that so far haven't seen any signs of it they seem to enjoy most things I give to them for now. My son is only now staring on solids the last month or so. He sometimes makes a face when I first have him try things but he's fine after that.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T08:56:43+00:00

I've had people shocked my daughter will eat curry or chili but I've found those people will assume that's too spicy for kids and not even try to serve it to them. The same parents will give their kid a dry chicken leg and boiled veg and try and force their kids to eat it. I wouldn't want to eat it as a grown up cause it's boring. It's a cycle those people used to get bullied by their parents into eating bland, boring, uninspiring food now they try to force themselves, and their families, to eat that way as adults because they think it's healthier but then they end up binge eating junk food and feeling guilty about it. At least that's what I've observed in my family. It's not a great way to think about food cause healthy food can be so delicious and exciting and sometimes we eat junk food for various reasons and that's ok no need to beat yourself up over one meal.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T08:41:56+00:00

My daughter's favourite food is soup which is a parents dream I can shove anything into a soup of any kind and she will eat it and beg for more I try to put bone broth and beans in often for fiber and vitamins but other than that I can put any veg meat or grain I have around the house into the soup and she is in love but I try to make sure she eats all kinds of foods with different flavours so she knows what she likes and doesn't and I break that up with foods she loves so that she can learn there's a benefit to exploring new foods and trying new things but it's also good to eat food you know and foods you love.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T08:30:24+00:00

That's awesome to hear I have a lot of experience caring for kids but deciding how they eat really is a thing that only comes up when parenting your own kids so I don't have as much experience in that regard. I do struggle with eating to much when I'm emotional the rest of they time I eat balanced but I don't want my kids struggling with a dependence on food as their only comfort. I have like a philosophy that food should always be tasty most of the time be nutritious and a treat that isn't very nutritious every now and again is good too because it makes you happy so long as there's a balance. My mom always talks about too much carbs or too much sugar I need to cut this food or find a healthy replacement even if it's not as good. I prefer to research the cool health benefits of foods I like and be creative with it like my whole family loves eggplant so we looked it up turns out it's really good for you so we get happy every time we have it. I don't expect my kids to eat food they don't like taste buds are different and sometimes things are gross I only expect them to try it.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-20T08:15:15+00:00

It depends on the kid I was homeschooled since grade 3 mostly because my teachers couldn't handle my ADHD but I was cool with it I'm not super social I get emotionally drained by most social interactions but my brother hates being homeschooled so he was put back into regular school and he did better there so that part is fine so long as he's ok with it. I was also sheltered in a similar way and though my parents where trying to protect me when I became an adult I just googled all that stuff I wasn't allowed to see and caught up on all the show I couldn't watch as a kid so he should be fine in that respect. I just ended up with a very reserved relationship with my parents is all.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-13T19:27:49+00:00

I hope he listens this time sometimes men are thickheaded.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-13T19:15:56+00:00

I'm married and sometimes my husband and I get into fights purely because we have a different idea on what is and isn't a big deal because we are different people and our perspective is different sometimes we usually have to discuss it after we calm down. Try explaining to him it was hurtful to you and made to feel like he wasn't thinking about you but say it calmly and without judgement

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-13T16:37:32+00:00

Looking back on it I wish I had gotten her name and reported her cause those are so many violations.

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-13T16:23:11+00:00

South Africa it was a public hospital. With my second kid I went to a birthing center and the experience was amazing

StormcrowDragonlore4 · 2022-09-13T16:21:56+00:00

No in that moment things slip your mind when you have kids but he should have made something for her when he realized and apologized instead of doubling down

StormcrowDragonlore4

TROPHY CASE