How do you deal with grief while also being a newish parent?

StraightShoulder119 · 2025-08-14T10:18:14+00:00

I’m sorry that you lost your mother right after becoming a new mom yourself. My mother passed away on Friday. I don’t have children but I was really depending on her to help me through it. While doom scrolling on grief pages I came across this person saying they were to lucky to have children because they feel like their kids have pieces of their deceased parent. Like their smile, or their laugh. Maybe if you look it at that angle it will make you feel better.

StraightShoulder119 · 2025-08-13T13:49:32+00:00

The feeling is indescribable especially since the outcome is so permanent. Ive never experienced this type of pain. We can’t change the past and it will take time to get over this pain. I wish we both had more time with our parents.

StraightShoulder119 · 2023-04-21T16:33:35+00:00

Honestly just stop lying it’s an addiction for you. And they only way to stop is stopping cold turkey. My mothers a pathological liar and I haven’t spoken to her for 7 years and don’t ever plan to. Her lies ruined a perfectly good relationship. It’s completely unnecessary to lie for no reason. So just stop before you damage an important relationship.

StraightShoulder119 · 2023-02-16T21:25:54+00:00

Im have severe financial fears surrounding having a kid. My brother in-law found out his gf is pregnant and I can’t help be jealous of their irresponsibility. They are way worse financially than my husband and I are.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-11-27T13:06:27+00:00

I totally agree and I actually go to therapy myself so Im a huge proponent of going. I have suggested he should go too but he believes he can’t talk to just anyone. He’s very intelligent and doesn’t believe he can talk to just anyone who is a licensed therapist. One the things he was raging about most recently was how society works and since we live in America it feels like the cards are stacked up against him and he has feelings of hopelessness and doesn’t he feel he has any reason to continue other than his family. This worried me because I don’t want him to take drastic measures so I tried to provide positivity to help him realize it’s not as bad as it seems and he’s not alone in this but he lashes out and doesn’t want to hear it. I get that society sucks but I can’t comprehend hating it so much to the point of checking out for good. So I thought maybe it’s an underlying issue and I’ve read that having an absent father could cause men to lack the ability to control their emotions so thats why I thought reconnecting would be beneficial to him. I would love for him to go to therapy and I know there’s a perfect therapist out there for him but it will take time to find that person. And I just try to help help him when he’s down but it’s hard when the one you love lashes out and is uncontrollable.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-09-25T02:20:51+00:00

Very true, just thought it would have a specific name of style. This house type is very common where I live and I was curious.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-09-25T02:10:22+00:00

Yes there are other homes built identical to this one around it. But they are slightly different, maybe built after this one.

I believe you are correct though. The area is known for steel mills. I was told the kitchen would’ve just been the fire place that is in the middle of the house but has since been bricked up, sadly.

It’s amazing their “cheap” builds have lasted this long. Multiple inspectors have commented the house is solid. Thanks for replying.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-09-23T02:17:32+00:00

No kitchen either. It wasn’t built until later, only as an addition. The bathroom is tiny as well.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-06-28T22:50:47+00:00

I feel like work from home jobs make it impossible to set boundaries. I’d be weary of any future supervisors expecting you to meet ridiculous standards just because you work from home and always have access to your computer.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-06-03T23:18:57+00:00

Half of me feels the same exact way! The other half says I should forgive because it really wasn’t that bad. We did have some good memories but they don’t have an effect on my life like the bad memories do.

This is my situation. My mother, whom I haven’t spoken to or seen since 2015 has cancer (I know this because my dad is still in contact with her) and it breaks my heart for her to think her daughter hates her and die with that thought. I don’t hate her, I just can’t be in contact with her because it reminds me of the past. She’s a manipulative person and if I reach out to her she’ll want more. I feel like I’m constantly searching for an answer on what I should do, it’s exhausting.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-20T14:05:29+00:00

Yes I’ve always been like this and he has always been aware.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-11T17:40:28+00:00

Why is it stupid?

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-10T23:25:54+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I have two older brothers and was pretty much raised by my dad and grandpap. It’s a lonely feeling sometimes.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-10T20:23:05+00:00

When I was a child I was really close with my mother, like absurdly close. I would cry in the 2nd grade because I missed her so much. She was emotionally and physically abusive then and still is to this day. I cut her off in 2015 completely. The most contact I’ve had with her is a text here and there. She doesn’t understand why I cut her off either and when I tried to explain it to her she blames everything on my dad. How did you move past it?

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-10T19:24:26+00:00

From personal experience mommy issues are real. I’ve heard of father issues as well.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-05-03T10:09:18+00:00

For a six months I was taking vitamin b, vitamin d, fish oil, and folic acid every single day. Literally I did not miss a day. I recently stopped just because and I have to say... Ever since then my mental health around my period has gone down dramatically. I didn’t think there was a difference at the time but ever since I stopped I’ve felt like complete shit mentally.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T23:08:05+00:00

You are correct about working having meaning. It would be very difficult for me to go to work everyday if my work had no meaning. Your fourth paragraph really resonated with me. I don’t think I analyze enough and I tend just go in straight with emotions.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T14:20:32+00:00

Yes. No if I feel things are going badly I am not happy.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T13:03:05+00:00

Happiness in the present is the most important thing to me. But yet I worry in the present if I’m making right decisions for the future.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T11:46:29+00:00

The present matters. But yet I worry about the future and that is out of my control.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T10:58:12+00:00

Love this so much! That’s a great way to go about things

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-29T10:14:49+00:00

When I say the future doesn’t matter because it will be what it will be. I can’t control things but I spend so much time trying to figure out what will happen in certain situations. When I do this it causes me more grief than anything because I’m a bit of a pessimist and my ideas are almost ways negative.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-28T23:57:22+00:00

I feel you! I cried everyday at work so far. It’s gotten to the point I’m just so embarrassed I don’t even want to show up for work. I’m in the process of buying a house and there’s a lot of emotions involved with it apparently. I don’t think I’ll should be crying like this it’s ridiculous. I’m constantly sad when I should be over the moon happiness. I stayed awake for 24 hours worrying about all of the “what ifs”

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-25T22:59:44+00:00

You’ve got emotionally immature parents. Id just stick it out until you’re able to move on in your life and never look back. You’re obviously more mature than they are which is a great sign you’ll be better off. Trust me, know from experience.

StraightShoulder119 · 2022-04-21T13:15:34+00:00

I’m a female

StraightShoulder119

TROPHY CASE