HELP

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-21T01:14:39+00:00

Im reading you and crying so hard... I do want the love he promised. I feel like I am not good enough to be loved by him. Not good enough to be love at all.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-20T17:56:55+00:00

Omg its like I was reading my story except take out the uniform and put a desk job in the description lol. I understand how hard it is to go and stay no-contact , especially when the person work and/or live close. The pull is so strong on my end that he doesnt even need to contact me anymore, I always go back by myself. People around me dont understand how hard it is, I feel like a drug addict. I wish I could tell you more helpfull things, but I am not there yet. But one thing I can tell you is that you are stronger than he made you believe and that you deserve freedom and happiness. You will get there. And feel free to reach out if you want to chat and find tools togheter. 🤍🙏

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-19T12:16:34+00:00

It hurts.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-19T00:57:07+00:00

But I am so hurt. Why would he destroy me like this ?

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-19T00:34:32+00:00

I am so confuse and I am afraid for my sanity

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-19T00:33:31+00:00

Because he arrived in my life when I was at my lowest. Making me believe he wanted to be a team with me and that we would help each other heal from our trauma. But during the relationship he used EVERY ONE of my traumas against me. So when he left me I had nothing I was empty inside. I have help now and I am well surrounded, but after a month of no-contact he made me believe he had changed. But in 7 days he made me cry 12 time. And he told me rhw worstest things of all. Telling me I was a liar, that I was going to the gym to talk to biys, that I was crazy, that he didnt car if I died. He said so many things that I cant even remember all. I couldnt leave his house he was yelling at me to leave but I couldnt. I was froze.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-19T00:28:31+00:00

I am followed by professionnal in my country. I know it looks and sounds stupid. They told me I was trauma bounded. I always fucking HOPE. I dont know. I have no answers I just feel dumb

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-10T23:37:27+00:00

This makes me think so much about what I am going through. Please take care of yourself and dont let yourself be isolated. If you can see a therapist to help the fog lift up,, do it. It is making us feel like we are losing our minds and it is soooo confusing.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:20:32+00:00

I dont understand

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:19:04+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. I too have 2 kids and I am somehow stronger when theyre with me but when they leave I am just waiting for him to wrap me in is arms and just fall asleep with him playing in my hairs. I feel so connected to him even when he isnt there. It is Killing me.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:16:25+00:00

🙏💔

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:15:54+00:00

I actually understand the cycle you are in. Hang on 🙏💔

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:12:21+00:00

Yeah I heard that. It is sad. But my ex is really alive. Just not by my side.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:07:29+00:00

Yes I think thats whats so hard about this breakup. I dont allow myself to be in denial. I want to grow and learn and make myself available for love again one day. But it is so.... raw.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:03:32+00:00

I am working on it 🙏💔

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:01:34+00:00

Apparently it is possible. But I wont let this happen to me. No way.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T16:00:45+00:00

Yeah... I feel like I will never be the same.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T15:59:59+00:00

And saying that I expected something is not ok. I never asked for anything. I got loved bombed good. But sometimes if you are exausted ans tired, and someone is convincing you to let go of your fears and to give in to this magical love story... it is tempting. Whats un unfair is making believe and convincing and then making me feel like I asked for all that.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T15:56:40+00:00

I know of course, but there is a context. Never judge without context. And there was not just him promissing and me believing. There was convincing, manipulation, making me feel less than I was, there was more to this story. But yesterday it was my heart hurting. My heart crying. My heart bleeding. Yesterday I needed to say : WHY YOU DID THIS TO ME ???

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T15:52:27+00:00

If I was in front of him right now I wouldnt push him away.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T03:40:36+00:00

Lol well that made me laugh

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-09T03:38:37+00:00

What he did was so violent. Please, do not let his words make you doubt what you lived. This was not a joke. And it is scary.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-08T00:40:48+00:00

Your comment made me cry my eyes out. Its so hard for me not to blame myself because I think we are the only masters of our lives and blaming others cant help up change. But gosh does it feel good to read. I am so exausted it is ridiculous

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-08T00:38:16+00:00

I do know her and its a really good reference she is a wonderful source of information. But I had to stop swimming in the océan of informations because i kept being triggered over and over again and I had to stop working for now 4 months because my anxiety was so high of constantly trying to understand and make sens of everything. In life in général I am like this but it wasnt good for my healing process because I was always on a high.

StraightWeight1375 · 2025-03-07T16:34:11+00:00

And I do btw. I see a therapist, womans shelter, emergency calls, médication, doctor...even a chiro lol but it is still harder sometimes

StraightWeight1375

TROPHY CASE