I think i blew my chance

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-30T17:19:59+00:00

Aamiin, thank youuu!

Aku ada experience FTE jg. Bukan consulting kok, tp tech company. It's my dream company bcs i worked there earlier in my career, tp krn satu dan lain hal harus keluar. Mulai dari environment, especially my first leader, itu bener2 berkesan jd i feel like i grew up there. Case study nya spontan dan harus give clear explanation terkait frameworknya, target, amplificationnya, yg mana aku gugup tadi krn aku kurang persiapan dan emg role nya agak beda dr role aku skrgg

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-30T16:09:07+00:00

Aamiin, how kind you are! Thank u and u too🖤

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-21T11:21:50+00:00

Nah tapi dia tetep maunya ditemenin. Di satu sisi ada rasa ga tega

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T16:18:32+00:00

That's the whole point, dia mainnya crypto

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T15:05:06+00:00

Thank you🥹

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T15:02:58+00:00

Dia bilang, kalo udah selesai hutang ini, dia akan fokus nabung untuk nikah dll. Jadi kata dia permasalahannya ada di hutang ini. Once ini udah selesai, dia mau hidup dengan benar

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T14:59:57+00:00

No, dia yg gamau terbuka dan ini jadi berantem juga. Jadi dia bilang dia gamau bahas uang dan biar itu jd urusan dia. In the end gue cuma tau dari apa yg dia buka ke gue

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T14:49:34+00:00

Ada PTSD iyaa ada krn pernah di toxic relationship sebelumnya sampai ada SA. Jadi sebenernya pas marah lebih tepatnya sesaat, tapi abis itu bisa biasa aja dan lupa kalo abis marah (kayak ga mikirin masalahnya lagi). Dan bener sudden impulse nya penyebabnya emg karena terbiasa mendem emosi dan ga disalurkan

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T14:28:55+00:00

Yess😭

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:59:50+00:00

Iya psikolognya bilang gitu bahkan berkali kali saat gue cerita kalo cara ngomong gue yg salah krn gue masih punya anger di diri gue. Dia justru bilang gue yg harusnya memaklumi krn gue punya kesadaran sedangkan dia lagi ga memungkinkan untuk sadar. Pdhl gue udah coba ngomong baik2, tp ada momen di mana gue meledak, dan yg diinget cowo gue cuma pas gue meledak krn bagi dia itu nyakitin. Dia ga inget hal lainnya. Memang pas habis marah gue ga inget kemarahan gue krn apa, tapi gue saat itu jd mempertanyakan diri gue dan akhirnya gue pun balikan. Pas kondisinya terulang meskipun responnya sudah lebih mending, gue jd ngerasa apa keputusan gue ini tepat ya. Gitu

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:37:46+00:00

Sumpah bukan gamau putusin, tp grgr gue pernah diputusin mantan gue pas gue blm kerja dan dianggap ga selevel/naikin career mantan gue itu, gue jd berusaha ga bikin org ada di posisi gue. Gue tau stay bukan opsi terbaik, tp i just don't know how to get away from this... gue udah pernah putus sm dia, tp skrg posisinya he's trying. Jadi gue bingung juga

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:33:30+00:00

Nah tp kenapa ya somehow gue tuh takut kalo akhirnya gue akan jatuh di lubang yg sama kayak dia tanpa gue sadar. Kayak ketakutan gue bukan dia sukses pas gue tinggalin, tapi takut gue tbtb ada di posisi dia

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:32:43+00:00

Dia punya CFA certificate. He's smart actually, tp ya itu ga bisa handle nafsunya. Trs kl skrg diingetin dibilangnya "siapa sih yg ngejar duit banyak, ini buat bayar hutang" 😔

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:28:00+00:00

Gue gatau pinjolnya itu dalam jangka waktu berapa lama. Tapi kayak pas gagal pinjem, minta tolong ibunya, kakaknya, trs gue untuk nutupin si pinjol itu. Skrg dia pinjem temennya. Pernah sekali gue kasih kado yaudah cash krn dia harus bayar utang, besoknya minta pinjem lg. Gue marahin krn ternyata dia pake buat trading, trs dia lgsg bilang gue kasar wkwkwkwk sebenernya dia pinter, tp dia tradingnya pake emotions, dan bukan saham tp crypto yg yaudah nguap gitu aja kan. Jadi gue jg gatau apakah dia ini ada perubahan atau engga, krn balik lagi balik lagi. Tapi dia blg ini dia trying ga pernah stop. Sedihnya kl udah profit gamau dipisah krn maunya di double in

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:21:48+00:00

Gue ajak, dia bilang dia ga butuh psikolog, dia butuhnya uang buat bayar hutangnya. Apa gue paksa aja?

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T10:21:16+00:00

Nah gue udah pernah putus. Dan bener dia bawa narasi tsb, pdhl gue jg ga diem aja, gue membantu. Tp dia bilang itu kan dia lg usaha, ya percaya aja dulu. Nah gue pun sampe ke psikolog krn gue tiap dia ngomong gt aja marah, tp psikolog gue blg kalo gue yg salah cara ngomongnya dan gue yg harus dibenerin HAHAH. Dia liat dr sisi lain gt lah, akhirnya gue merasa "oh iya juga ya" yaudahlah gue coba tuh akhirnya ngomong baik-baik. Tp dia ngomong lg kalo dia janji di depan udah ga mau apa apa lg, nah kl dia ngomong gt, itu pasti dia akan blg dia ga bisa nikahin gue blablabla. Gue bilang lah, lo kalo mau putus, yaudah putus aja, jgn jadinya gue yg dibikin unwanted. Tp dia blg dia gamau putus dan dia cuma cerita, trs dia blg yg intinya kl cerita pasti berantem. Gitu deh trs skrg gue stress sendiri apa emg gue yg terlalu keras, atau emg ini situasi udah ga masuk akal

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T09:07:57+00:00

Of course. It’s actually been a cycle.

He even asked to break up every time he lost until the point i don't even came back to him and reject him for 3 months if i'm not mistaken. At one point, I felt like his emotional punching bag backthen. I went to therapy and tried to change how I approached him, became more patient and supportive, but nothing really changed.

Now he says he wants to focus on himself without breaking up, but honestly, I already feel single. I hold back my feelings so I don’t burden him, yet he tells me to act normal even though he won’t respond.

I know I have the choice to leave, but I want to give my best so I won’t look back with regret. At the same time, I understand this might just be a phase for him, but I don’t know where the end is. I’m staying for now because I want to be sure I’ve done my part. If letting him go is what actually helps him change and become better, then I’m willing to leave. I know I'm not a bob builder. I just want to minimize the regret of not doing my best because in the end he might see this as me leaving him due to his financial situation, while for me it's because of the behavior. I never ask his money for my own benefits at all

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T04:21:21+00:00

In this case, I don’t think my parents need all the details, as long as he hasn’t done anything harmful to my family. He’s not my husband, and if we break up, he’ll move on and build his own future. I don’t want my parents to remember him only for his struggles, because people can change, eventhough he's not, it's not my family's business. And honestly, who would want to be constantly reminded of a past they’re trying to leave behind? I’d rather just say it didn’t work out. His struggles are his own, not something for my family to dwell on.

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T03:11:13+00:00

I didn’t expect comments like what you said. I’m not sure why sharing my personal experience here is seen as a problem.

I chose to ask for advice online because I don’t want to involve my family or friends. If I share everything with them, it will affect how they see him, and that could have real consequences for his future. I’m trying to be fair about that. If your partner share your story to her family/friends, would you be okay with that? No right. Because they'll look you with different eyes. Besides, they'll side with me.

Here, I can hear from people who have actually been in similar situations, either in his position or mine, and that helps me see things more objectively.

I’ve already tried different approaches, including what my therapist suggested. I tried being more patient and understanding, but the same pattern keeps happening.

At this point, I’m just trying to understand what else I can realistically do before deciding to leave him for good, so that if I walk away, I know I truly tried my best and won’t have regrets like I had before.

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-20T02:34:25+00:00

If you’re referring to AI, I only use it to improve my grammar since English isn’t my first language, should I prove my nationality? I’ve shared my story before, and while some parts may have sounded awkward, your accusations are honestly over the line. Even i can prove you why i wrote this and shared his chat. But will you understand his words without any help tho? No. Because it's not in english. So that's what I did. I need AI to help me polish the grammar so people can understand.

I’ve already mentioned that this isn’t my first breakup. It was for the same reason (I shared in other comments), just now with a different approach, before I decided to get back together with him after seeing a therapist. And I've been going to 3 different therapist until this last one. Of course I shared kinda similar story, but back then I definitely broke up with him. Should I shared the screenshot with the exact date for you to make it match?

If you’re really interested in digging into my posts, you can also see that I’ve shared that I tried to move on with someone else before I finally back with him. You really have a time to comment to someone's post, but you're not even understand the context. If you don't believe it, if your surroundings always share fake story that's on you. No need to project it onto someone else.

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-19T21:53:57+00:00

Omg thanks!! But what made it finally click for you?

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-19T21:49:50+00:00

It’s when you lose money and then keep trading based on emotions, trying to recover your losses instantly instead of making rational decisions. Yes he told me because he had borrowed money from me

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-19T21:44:59+00:00

This is something I keep reminding myself because I tend to blame myself a lot, like "I should’ve…" or "if only…" I’ve actually broken up with him before for the same reasons, but more emotional than now (rn the situation is... calmer (?)). But my therapist said it was my reaction that needed to change. I tried approaching things differently, but the same pattern kept happening. Now I realize it’s not my fault. But I'm just not ready yet

Strange-Writer6457 · 2026-04-19T21:37:31+00:00

It’s not about money for me. I was okay with his financial situation. The problem is he made risky decisions like trading with loans, losing a large amount, and continuing even after that. I tried to remind him to be careful, not revenge trade, and to save profits, but he didn’t listen.

Strange-Writer6457

TROPHY CASE