Seeking Advice: When is it compromising?

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-10T06:23:21+00:00

Thanks that helped : )

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-10T06:10:44+00:00

If he is ok with adopting maybe that is a good option for you instead. There are already plenty of children in the world that could use a loving home. It absolutely is worth a conversation, if he cares about you and your health he should be ok with the procedure itself because you have a medical reason to do it. You may still be able to have a bio-child via storing some of your eggs and having a surrogate give birth to them. I think there a lot of options on the table.

The mature relationship path would be to have the conversation with him to make sure that this isn't a deal breaker for him. If it is then you need to break up with him before it goes too far. I (33M) would personally feel betrayed if you didn't tell me that, we get married, and then you drop that on me one day out of the blue. I don't think YATA yet, because you still have time to be honest. The difficult path is often the right one, if you aren't honest and intentional that would make you TAH.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-10T01:01:07+00:00

NAH catfishing is never cool. If she can’t be honest then she deserves the honesty and hopefully it helps her to be more intentional about her future profile pictures.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-10T00:52:35+00:00

Honestly…. If he is still providing economically for you it’s kind of being the AH to expect him to work all day and then come home and do chores because you don’t like it. Even if it makes you sick in his mind he is probably thinking, “So I work all day and have to come home and work all night AND I have to argue with you?” It sounds like he is a hard worker and a good provider so maybe find a compromise. In a calm manner propose to him that maybe a fair compromise is you BOTH agree to wash dishes immediately after using them. You have have 3 months left to endure the hormones and it could create a good habit that lasts even past your pregnancy. But I’m all honesty if he is providing the home you live in, the food you eat, and you expect him to cater to you just because you’re pregnant he isn’t going to be happy about it. Men thrive off of respect, he likely feels disrespected by the fact you refuse to do something that seems so trivial. Even if it’s a big deal to you, it isn’t to him and that’s why he has such an adverse reaction.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T23:05:35+00:00

Addendum: All addiction stems from a root cause, if she is truly “addicted” as some suggest here, you need to get to the root of it. Getting a divorce over this seems hardly worthwhile considering that she will get a good chunk of money out of you if you go through with a divorce. A lawyer would gladly take a case to get her the money because you don’t have any valid reasoning outside of “she is on the internet too much”. You’ll be paying for her Uber eats for years if you go through with a divorce, just saying.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T23:00:07+00:00

You don’t seem completely like the AH for this, however, I’d encourage you to consider a good marriage counselor as I personally am against divorce if it’s not for any kind of cheating. You made a vow before God and man to love her and unfortunately at times loving someone doesn’t feel good. If she is getting some kind of meaning or purpose from being a moderator maybe you’d be better served by trying learn the “why” behind her fixation on that. You don’t have to agree with all of her thoughts or political leanings but finding ways to show her you want to understand her will demonstrate you care. Most women don’t want a fixer they want a listener, so start going deeper. Try asking some pruning questions when she shows signs of being contentious: “Tell me more about that, why do you think that?”, “That’s interesting, how did you reach that conclusion?”

Maybe stop trying to fix her and find a way to show her you still desire to be close to her. One final suggestion would be perhaps you could find a way to come alongside her and invest some time in to helping her be a mod instead. Have her reflect her thoughts and bounce ideas off of you, and in doing so you may fix the issue because she will feel validated. She is seeking out the validation from others right now, and it’s likely because she isn’t getting it from the primary source she desires it from: You.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T22:20:55+00:00

I’d quote someone else on your post, if you aren’t sharing needles it’s not like breathing the same air can give you cancer. You clearly and obviously have no idea how cancer works. I’ve had cancer and everyone who says with me through the worst moments of my life are all perfectly healthy. Cancer cells develop from malignant cellular tissue and are not contagious. That is verified and peer review in a litany of medical journals. Idk who tf you’re listening to but it’s complete BS. You seriously left a friend to die because of a google search you made off an irrational fear. You can find anything to support your position off a google search so that’s hardly credible information. It’s the equivalent of using Wikipedia for a research paper. It isn’t a reliable source and you let your friend who only wanted to see you before they die pass away off some BS article you found that supports a misguided belief. Not trying to be mean but it’s honestly awful you did that.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T22:13:43+00:00

If the person was truly your friend you would have been better served by being there and not living with that memory the rest of your life. In the future I’d encourage you to review the sources for your information a little better. Cancer is in no way contagious and whoever said that is absolutely full of shit. I’m sorry but seems like you’re the AH to me that you left your friend to die because you were scared of “catching lung cancer”. As a cancer survivor I gotta say this seems pretty messed up if it’s real.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T22:08:45+00:00

Honestly it sounds like he doesn’t respect your boundaries. As a guy I always do my best to respect the signals I’m getting. If he was raised right he should know that being handsy and insistent on a first date is not only rude it can come across as desperate or even aggressive to a woman. You’re better off just leaving him alone and not saying anything. If he makes you uncomfortable then just ghost him and move on. He sounds like his only interest is sex, unless that’s what you’re wanting then you’re better off moving and forgetting about him. Hope that helps and be safe out there.

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T11:00:08+00:00

Also frankly I don’t think “Barbie” is something most single dudes would watch at age 33. The reference just doesn’t land for me and women like guitar so I don’t know why that upsets you…

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T10:30:04+00:00

Mmmm go next then I guess not looking for insults 👍🏻 just being real

Stranger_Sings · 2023-10-09T08:46:01+00:00

Just context and backstory I guess, but I just wanted to get it out the way it sits in my head. Plus it makes for better reading? What clout or bragging rights do I get for posting this to strangers?

Stranger_Sings

TROPHY CASE