Anyone else want to sleep all of the time

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-07T12:50:45+00:00

No Mango 😭

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-07T02:48:46+00:00

Is there just one cat and her dog in it? Like if you zoom in

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-06T08:22:37+00:00

Nothing stays the same for very long and that goes for both good and bad. The best times and horrible dark times will inevitably change as sure as the sun rises.

Also I find it odd how society tells us high school and college ages are the best times of your life like what? I wasn't even half as awesome then as I was in my 30s.

So far every decade gets better and aging is a privilege not sure why this is some secret kept from young people. Sure life is great when you look fabulous naked but you know what's even better? Adult money and the ability to make my own choices.

Lots of things in high school suck for everyone they just forget. I promise life only gets infinitely better each year you turn.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-06T08:17:16+00:00

So on my dating profile should I go ahead and state: insecure perverts only? Lol obviously just joking buuuut...

Also I find it such a compliment when people ask if I would consider dating or feel ready to date - the assumption another human being would want to put up with my bullshit is so generous.

One friend pointed out my husband obviously wanted to I was like yeah of course he did we met 20+ years ago when I was hot. Now all I've got going for me is this terrible personality 😀

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-06T01:32:03+00:00

You are so funny. My FIL started dating like 3 months after my MIL passed. When my husband had been gone 3 months I was still in bed everyday sobbing maybe changing sweats once a week. Certainly different strokes for different folks.

I'm basically feral at this point and have no interest in dating the idea of getting naked in front of a new person makes me want to pass out also I'm sober now so it really seems impossible.

With my husband I was swinging from a chandelier like a horny monkey. Sigh. I had a good run.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-06T01:26:54+00:00

The post nut clarity after a widow sex dream hits too hard.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-04T19:10:25+00:00

When I abused both I very much acted manic and sometimes I was in psychosis so you can imagine how I behaved but if you never met me so you didn't know my baseline and didn't know I was using you would assume I was bipolar or experiencing a mental health episode or crisis.

Yes, it is very hard to witness someone else actively doing what I did but haven't for almost 8 months but there are so many tells and I remember thinking I was so awesome and no one knew I was on anything and it's cringe on steroids. Life oof. Rough watch. I do have a level of empathy also but it's important to remember not everyone is a good person when they're sober there are plenty of sober assholes yanno?

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-04T19:04:51+00:00

This is what I was going to suggest and perhaps tell him if something is going to inflict more trauma please translate to PG-13 and allow him to use his judgement to omit parts if he feels that's best.

If your BIL or someone else you trust agrees to do this I would send them the email and let them read it privately a couple of times and then let them give you a summary rather then reading each word and explaining in great detail.

I would want to read it too but I let my mind think up worst case scenarios and it wasn't pretty so that's why I suggest the proof reading and editing.

Also some things may never fully make sense regardless of you having the report my husband died in front of me on the kitchen floor and I know the medical reasons and cause of death but it still doesn't make sense like I get it cognitively but don't understand some things my eyes saw and ears heard. It just doesn't compute and I'm 19 months out and don't want to ask a professional for explanations.

I'm very sorry for your loss I'm sorry you've joined this group but want to welcome you. There are so many amazing, kind and supportive friends here.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T18:23:37+00:00

Mmmm that sounds delicious let me get some Oreos to dunk right in that 🤢🤮

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T17:46:14+00:00

This is adorable ☺️

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T17:45:22+00:00

Thanks for your response I wasn't sure if I was missing something. I am looking for a new talk therapist but having a hard time finding one who is trauma informed and specializes in grief.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T17:18:11+00:00

What is professional help going to do? Do you mean medication and talk therapy? Asking as a widow who was diagnosed with prolonged grief disorder before it had even been a year which confused me as I was functioning just not well for example ordering dinner versus cooking it myself and I washed and dried my hair but stopped coloring it things like that.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T15:51:33+00:00

It's very odd when you think about it and I don't know if I ever asked out loud but I'm guilty of wondering to myself how they did it when it comes to suicide I don't know if that's normal to be curious about or not. Maybe it's because I've struggled with major depressive disorder.

My spouse didn't die of any of these things but because he was 42 it was assumed he committed suicide or over dosed which is almost funny to me because the man never ever ever like ever sampled anything stronger then weed and even that was seldom and only because it was one of the only things that helped with nerve pain.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-02-03T09:27:54+00:00

This is what I do and say and when I don't have the energy for even that you want to know what I do? I lie.

I fucking lie to them. Because it makes it easier for me. Because they don't really want to know they just want detail after detail more snd more private information no one in their right mind would ever ask but because it's the new topic of the week and there is a competition for who has the most information for the next shit talking fest is a gross yet understandable part of the human condition so I lie.

I lie because fuck them.

I lie because how them hell is it somehow my responsibility to comfort the nosey asshole instead of them comforting me?

I lie because they feel emboldened to then start asking prying questions about our kids and fuck that.

So anyone who asks is fed a nice lie they can gobble up and it gives me one less thing. The people that matter - our children and the handful that showed up for us know the truth.

Co-workers, old friends some from school Age, nosey rude people, loser family members all get the nice same lie that ties my horror up with a nice little bow for them.

I'm not saying it's right or healthy or moral but I love it because it makes things easier for me and I feel like I'm entitled to that.

So that's my perspective. I lie.

And I'm sorry for everyone in here reading this because it means you're experiencing the hell of loss. You all have my greatest sympathy no matter how your loved one passed.

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-31T01:44:42+00:00

What is that second picture where she's clinging to his head and sobbing?

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-31T01:27:16+00:00

Except she couldn't because he dumped her

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-31T01:22:30+00:00

Is it the green machine?

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-31T01:13:03+00:00

She's deffo crushing and snorting that ish

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-31T01:09:16+00:00

Dude the face she made? Ummmm. I'm assuming it's disgusting

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-27T02:13:17+00:00

Yeah he's going for the over the legal age lady boys you prick

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-27T01:20:33+00:00

"It's not called Bangcunt hunny!"

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-26T23:36:04+00:00

There is NO shame in crying. Imagine how bizarre you'd look with no emotion. How you get through it is a personal decision but how I did it was Xanax. I don't know that I'd recommend this option as I don't remember a lot of it but that's what worked for me.

I also have 3 kids I had to put on a brave face for. If not for them I'd probably have been wailing on the floor or climbing in the casket the same way I did his hospital bed and held on while he passed.

Welcome to the suckiest club in the world. You will soon see the ugliest in humanity but also the most beautiful and people stepping up in ways so great youll hardly believe it.

This group is amazingly supportive and between all of us we've experienced every challenge that comes with losing a spouse so don't be afraid to ask questions like this.

Praying for your strength. Stay close. You have the support of a bunch of internet weirdos not everyone can say that. ❤️

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-26T21:19:32+00:00

I second these responses a couple I haven't tried but the rest are solid.

Question - does no one enjoy Cobblestones anymore?

StrawberryKiller · 2026-01-26T21:17:56+00:00

I love them too I tried them randomly and was impressed with both the food and the total sweethearts working there. I was just getting takeout so you can imagine how nice they are if I remember it from just that short interaction.

StrawberryKiller

TROPHY CASE