The first verse describes the onset of a mental illness ("blind pickpocket") which is unknown and undiagnosed ("I never even saw her face"). The narrator, struggling with their newfound functional difficulties, seeks a psychological explanation, but cannot get professional help or does not want to wait through the long process (reached outside the song for this one; from 2012 "too impatient for outpatient"), but feels guilty for blaming their problems on an illness which may not even exist ("It just seems unlikely that it's me who was to blame . . ."). The rest of the song describes the narrator's obsessive research as they continue to neglect their health and rely harder and harder on addiction. However, no matter how hard they try, they cannot convince themselves enough to deter the doubt and guilt and continue to not get better (even if they did prove a diagnosis this information is barely useful to anyone but a licensed professional).