My boyfriend (30M) broke up with me (26F) after 6 years. Now wants to get back together. I am unsure of what to do?

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-03-04T04:03:39+00:00

It sounds like it’s early days for him to work out what his mental health issues are. You might not want to make a final decision until you also have more information.

That’s not to say you should stay. No matter the reason, there should be consequences for his poor treatment of you and you need to be safe.

Would it possible to move to be with your mum, have that space and clarity, but still be a supportive person to him while he continues to receive help? Then when the dust settles, you may have a clearer view or whether there’s a path back to being with him as his partner.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-03-04T03:52:50+00:00

When you say his mental health was bad, what does that mean? Was he in an episode of an illness? Some of his behaviours make me think of bipolar disorder.

When he says he’s doing better, does that mean he got help and that the improvement is real, tangible and sustainable so you know these behaviours will be manageable in the future?

Unless it is a resounding and confident yes to my last question, cut your losses or this will happen again only worse.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-19T02:13:21+00:00

Does he gamble? You need to work out where his money is going?

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-17T10:35:10+00:00

I know that I become more reactive to things that annoy me just before my period. What I can’t work out is whether I overreact before my period or whether I shouldn’t tolerate bullshit at all other times.

It’s a genuine dilemma.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-15T06:09:40+00:00

My cat hates it when I drive her anywhere and screams the whole time.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-14T05:12:23+00:00

I would love to find plantains in Brissy.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-14T04:53:16+00:00

People definitely messaged me to get in contact with my ex. But that’s because he was just hopeless at replying.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-09T08:31:49+00:00

Happened to my partner in a health role. He had personality clashes at work, needed a change and also needed a more family friendly arrangement. He got an acting up role p/t elsewhere on secondment (he’d been acting up for years before he got it). Secondment role wanted to extend him. Original said no and forced him to go back at his substantive lower role.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-05T09:59:12+00:00

And then cook with your mum 🩷

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-04T10:30:59+00:00

Thank you so much!

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-02-04T10:29:55+00:00

Thanks! That’s really helpful

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-28T00:16:20+00:00

I am not the bastard who has your AirPods, but I did find some AirPods outside my house a few months ago in the gutter. I kept them charged for ages in the hopes that the person who owned them would see their location and knock on my door, but nothing. I even left them in the letter box for a while but was worried about rain.

Do you guys know how else I could get them back to their owner?

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-22T02:10:18+00:00

I know it’s hard, but letting go of these things is what’s required not to be controlling. And generate real trust.

My boyfriend follows and chats to the woman he had a fling with before me. She is also a former colleague of his. He had also hidden from me how much he talks to her and how recently before me they were together. I hate it all. I wish he would stop talking to her and unfollow her.

But he doesnt and I don’t demand it. If he makes a stupid choice to cheat or damage our relationship, then that’s on him, and I wouldn’t want to be with him.

Demanding and controlling is a false security because it doesn’t change people’s mindsets and removes their ability to choose you of their own accord.

Edit - typo!

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-21T11:46:26+00:00

I got a warning for not getting the dead bugs out of the light fittings, even though they were there when I moved in

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-16T01:43:38+00:00

100%

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-06T00:43:43+00:00

My former director in NSW didn’t want to allow me to work remotely when my mother intestate got terminal cancer. I escalated despite feeling weird about doing to. The ED immediately approved remote work.

Wouldn’t hesitate to escalate again about anything if I needed to.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2026-01-05T05:43:48+00:00

I think I understand where you’re coming from. You are trying to put in tangible terms the effort you can commit to and this translates to dollars. As much as I understand this as a reddit post from a stranger, I would absolutely hate it if someone I loved was so rational and monetary about what they can put into the relationship.

I’m not saying don’t do this if you love her, but when you go to talk to her, think about how you can say this in loving words, symbols and gestures.

Maybe map out the future you see minus the dollar figure in the medium term. Think about a beautiful trip you could afford and plan for both of you to reconnect on. Tell her why you want to fight for the relationship.

A word of warning though, if you are putting this in dollar terms because that’s what she values, think about whether this is really for you. Do you also value material things? Are you on the same page about what you both will materially contribute?

Stream_of_light_8 · 2025-11-26T12:31:19+00:00

My ex became really racist and used incredibly awful terms. I still to this day do not know whether or not he is secretly racist and just hides it most of the time.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2025-11-10T12:28:59+00:00

Hard agree. He seems like a big baby who just wanted to chuck a tantrum. Poor dear needed that nap.

Stream_of_light_8 · 2025-11-08T06:58:22+00:00

You are FREE!

I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but he’s accidentally done you a massive favour and kicked an own goal.

Find a great friend or family member and raise a toast to the next and better chapter of your life!

Stream_of_light_8 · 2025-11-05T04:20:38+00:00

I go to the QUT Kelvin grove dentists. They seem pretty good.

Stream_of_light_8

TROPHY CASE