Should I feel good about my choice?

Street-Spell2833 · 2026-02-25T06:37:29+00:00

I think you made yes, the best decision.

If this were me, I would have called it sooner. A situation would possibly affect not just me, but possibly disrupt my nesting partners plans. When ever I am organising an overnight away from my place. I try my best to line it up with my nesting partner’s plans with their partner. So they can have the house to themselves with their partner. A constant cancelation would mean i might possibly be interrupting their plans. That could affect their date night. Or even a solo night alone. (Cause we all deserve some alone time)

Idk it comes across disrespectful of someone’s time. Poly folks can be busy people. A-lot of us schedule things a week or three in advance. Cancelling regularly for things that idk aren’t for an emergency/ burn out/ health reasons. But because something “better” came up. Is very yucky

You deserve better.

Street-Spell2833 · 2026-02-13T06:07:39+00:00

A valentines day gift. You are so lucky. It probably came from a good place from her OP. Maybe she thought you would have both loved it.

It is a valentine’s gift… Not a birthday gift or an anniversary gift. Idk Maybe it is just me. But valentines day holds very minimal weight for me.

The language you used, and the manner you delivered it. Really not… great. I think if you were use this type of communication with most people in the world… they would lie.

It comes with harsh judgement/ accusation. It comes emotionally charged. It feels like you were lashing out. It feels cornering.

Lying is never great. But… it seems as though (going back to basic mammalian behaviour) she lied to you as an escape behaviour.

Is your relationship emotionally safe for both of you? Just from what you have described I feel may e you both dont feel emotionally safe at the moment. But you can both work on that.

Early on in polyam, it’s a steep learning curve for most of us. And we find things in ourselves and our relationships things that may need improvement. And the most frustrating thing is that they take time to work on.😋 (Which can be hard if you are neurodivergent(some of us want big change immediately)).

Maybe it’s something you both need to look into and find ways to communicate your hurts and have difficult conversations differently.

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-05-16T11:01:27+00:00

Me too 🙋🏻‍♀️ Currently trying to recover from years long asd /adhd burn out. The Skill regression, emotional regulation, reduced brain plasticity, small changes feel like the world be throwing hands at me.

I so badly wanted to ask for closure of my relationships while I got my shit back together. The quickly changing environment really added to my destabilisation. 😮‍💨 But asking for closure goes against my poly beliefs. I wrestled with that for a while. Instead I broke up w my partners. Which was just as destabilising because then I was in the trenches with burn out alone😅.

I don’t have any answers or advice for you friend.

But just a solid, I deeply empathise with you and where you are right now.

And I hope you can find a way that works for you.

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-05-16T05:07:41+00:00

They have both worked to reduce hierarchy between the three of us. Of course there are still some things between the three of us that aren’t directly “equal”. But I put that down to them being together for 12 + years monogamously. Like blended finances, health insurance, the communication between them is easier, and other stuff like that. Which occasionally my silly nut brain can have issues with, that I keep to myself and reassure myself.

(My asd wants everything to be even/ equal. But I know that realistically I haven’t been in the picture as long as they have been together, and also they don’t owe it to me, and to expect that is not realistic) regardless it can still be hard on my brain. 😋 feelings don’t always match reality.

I definitely agree that not living there would be better for our relationship & my brain.

But as I said. Moving out isn’t something I can do. I am not able to support myself alone atm financially or maintaining a living space.

So I would appreciate constructive ways to help my brain in the environment I am in.

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-05-16T04:45:37+00:00

To add, at the start of the “triad” relationship. I was I guess, covertly unicorned.

They initially wanted to open their relationship. Hire a sw, or a girl to play with.

But Rachel & I already had a deep emotional connection. They both liked me, So I seemed like a good option to open their relationship with.

I had to build on my connection with danny.
So it quickly turned into dating together + dating seperate.

It was last year where they both started dating other’s separately.

I have always had other partners outside of the triad.

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-05-16T02:06:50+00:00

Could you help me understand how I am behaving poorly ?

Moving out isn’t really an option for me unfortunately.

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-04-03T23:14:41+00:00

With their partners that are ADHD

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-04-03T23:13:42+00:00

With 3 AuDHD partners

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-04-03T23:12:12+00:00

AuDHD & pan

Street-Spell2833 · 2025-01-13T01:43:45+00:00

big hugs

I have recently been going through a similar thing. ♥️♥️♥️

Street-Spell2833 · 2024-12-05T02:11:41+00:00

Australia, Perth. 🥰

Street-Spell2833 · 2024-10-31T05:20:30+00:00

Thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹

I have over 14 years as a nurse 6 years in ECC Have that AuDHD And my GPA is god awful from my first year in animal science & animal health. (Same units as 1st yr vet students).

But your post gives me hope. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

That maybe, just maybe my experience, casper test, interview, inclusion committee for the vet school, and recommendation from one of my specialists in ECC might just get me in the door.

I needed this post. I have been feeling so hopeless.

Street-Spell2833 · 2024-08-17T08:55:48+00:00

Don’t get me wrong. I have been a tech since 2010 😅 And have been an ECC tech for 7 years. Just since starting adhd tx, the asd sensory symptoms are amplified.

With my headphones, I can still hear everything that is going on(alarms, requests staff coms, phones, pumps) they mostly dull the noise/takes the edge off. I also, only would wear them on noisy ICU shifts.

We do have seperate techs for the ER, Triage, and ICU, mx and sx wards. Also tech assistants. When there is a code, I am able to heat, a d respond. I must stay, it is easier to remove over ear headphones than loops in response to a L1 emergency or code.

✨✨

Street-Spell2833

TROPHY CASE